Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

Today we have Shea. She is 42 years old and from Michigan. Her last drink was on August 9, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  From Paul: "I cannot tell you how to quit drinking"   For Paul the most important thing that helped him along his journey to being alcohol free is: accountability. Paul tells his story of one of his attempts to stop drinking in 2014. He told his family he needed help.   Paul's 2022 goal is simply: To be sober.   As he continues to build time away from alcohol, he wants to remind listeners that even he doesn't have it all together. And the thing he's most proud of is the ability to recognize the insanity of his own thinking mind.   * Silencio Bruno * [09:03] Odette introduces Shea.     Shea is 42 years old and from Michigan. She took her last drink on August 9, 2021. She has two boys, a full time physicians assistant for cardiac surgery and is also in Law School. For fun she loves to move her body, recover

Today we have Randy.  He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul   This week's tips from Paul include:  1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you.   There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard.  Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/                                                           [9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years.  He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running.   Randy was on episode 129.  Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank.  Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him.    Drinking was a reward for Randy.  Today, Randy doesn't have to think about drin

Today we have Jenn.  She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the parameters for success.  There's an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it's all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal,  getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research.  If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that's a huge improvement.    This week's tips from Paul include:  1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.   Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts.  Don't underestimate the power of thought.  Our thoughts are powerful.  They create our world.  Immediately discard the thoughts that don't align with your goals.  Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you w

Today we have Ashley.  She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul   Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey.  There are more recovery modalities than ever.  Keep searching for the one that works for you.  This week's tips are:  Play the tape forward.  Treat yourself to a gift.  Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung.    Drinking served a purpose for you initially.  Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm.  As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away.  If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place.  When do the miracles of sobriety occur?  Day 1, day 500?  It's up to you to find out.  https://www.recoverye

Today we have Rocio.  She is 42, from Washington state, and took her last drink on August 31, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul   Paul reminds you if you drank over Thanksgiving or your sobriety plans aren't going so hot, don't kick the bucket to January or to the next holiday season.    This week's tips from Paul include:  1) rest, 2) Uno reverse card – remember that most criticisms and judgments have nothing to do with you, 3) remind yourself that you are physically safe.  Much of our addiction is tied to an overactive nervous system that prevents us from departing from the fight or flight emotions.   When we're drinking, there is no time left to create, to explore, to discover, to get to know, or reflect upon. Instead, we are picking up the pieces, sometimes trying to put the pieces together from the night before. Much of this behavior is the body seeking safety and refuge from situations that may have o

Today we have Cordell.  He is 38, from North Dakota, and took his last drink on December 6, 2017. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Odette   Odette has some helpful hints to contribute to Paul's Holiday Survival Guide.  Odette suggests 1) have a fun escape plan, 2) offer to do the dishes, 3) dig into your arsenal of why's.   Beyond tips, Odette suggests really focusing on effective communications.  Set expectations in advance, particularly with those closest to you so they understand you are committed to staying sober, even if it means leaving early.  You don't have to burn the ships either, you can reference plans early the next day.  Odette says having a puppy is a great reason to leave a party early.      [6:05] Cordell took his last drink December 6, 2017.  He is 38 and has a wife and 3 kids.  He spends lots of time chasing kids and he works in a coal mine.  Sobriety is the best choice he ever made.   Cordell was

Today we have Jan.  She is from Connecticut and took her last drink on February 1, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Café RE donated $15,094.73 to organizations and non-profits geared towards helping those affected by addiction.   Highlights from Paul   Paul is encouraging listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays.  Last week he encouraged us to: 1) create a detailed craving plan, 2) turn FOMO into JOMO by saying no and, 3) pick a holiday theme song.   Paul shares that when we make the decision to not drink, an unbelievable amount of energy is released. This is less about staying away from alcohol and more about creating a life that doesn't require alcohol. When we're drinking there is no space mentally for this new life.   This week Paul encourages us to:  1) select a Thanksgiving AF beverage, 2) schedule one minute of intense mindfulness and, 3) sticky note – write a reminder, goal or affirmation and put it somewher

Today we have Kendall.  He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator.   Highlights from Paul   Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays.  He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects.   A recap from last week:  1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.  Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say "no" to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song.    When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place.  You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge.  You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires an

Today we have Tom.  He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays.   There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze.    1)  Accountability – get an accountability partner.  Café RE members' email: [email protected] with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired.  If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won't be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn't on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy.   Paul reminds us to practice new habits inclu

Today we have Blazik.  He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021.   Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation.  10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation  helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/   Highlights from Paul   Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.  The holidays often spike anxiety.  Paul suggests it's time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays.    Challenges create opportunities.  There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays.    There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside.  There are also opportunities for connection.  Building deeper human connections requires us to

Today we have Tara.  She is 37, from Canada, and took her last drink on February 20, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about his inner voice and how it failed him as he was trying to stack days in early sobriety.  Inner narration can tell you in your own voice that it is okay to drink.  It's a subconscious voice.  Paul advises that the first step is to be aware of the voice.  Then you need to create distance between that voice and the first drink.  Inner narration isn't you, it's a bundle of thoughts.  Over time, you can let the space build between the thought and the drink so you can change your thinking.  Gaze at the stars, look up and take a breath.    [10:37] Odette welcomes Tara   Tara took her last drink February 20, 2019.  She lives in Montreal and has learned to enjoy life – everything she does is for fun.  She is a voice actress and podcaster.   Tara described her relationship with a

Today we have Kerry.  She is 31, from Philadelphia, and took her last drink on January 2,2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. S   Highlights from Paul   Humans don't plug in like a phone with a charger, however we do recharge.  In the 21st century we are pulled in many different directions.  Addictions are adaptive behaviors that manifest in unhealthy, stressful environments, especially when we are running on empty.   Paul offers some practical ways for us to recharge including go barefoot on the earth/grass, eat live foods 2x a day, eat less frequently, sleep more, nap, read a good book, socialize with other sober people, get out in nature, do something that brings you joy, and JOMO (joy of missing out) – skip those stressful events.  Recharging takes practice.  Remind yourself that it is a gift you are giving yourself.     [11:30] Odette welcomes Kerry   Kerry took her last drink January 2, 2021.  She is a registered dietician, i

Today we have Frank.  He is 42, from Omaha, and took his last drink on May 22,2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul Can you heal in the same environment you became sick in?  Yes, but you can't use the same consciousness or thinking that got you into the mess in the first place.  There is a line that goes, when you quit drinking you don't have to change much, you have to change everything.  The key is, not all at once.  Paul describes three critical changes:  awareness, boundaries and staying in the body (don't disassociate).    You are gaining strength.  Adversity makes you stronger.  You are healing and as you heal, those around you will heal as well.   [10:38] Odette welcomes Frank   Frank to his last drink May 22, 2021.  He is married with two children, and he works in medical staffing.  He is a foodie, loves sports and playing guitar.   Frank started drinking in high school.  It was a rite of passage at the

Today we have Kathryn.  She us 58, from North Dakota, and took her last drink on February 19, 2002. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Odette There is no manual for recovery. We have tools, guidance, but no guaranteed formula for success. Learning to manage that uncertainty can be challenging, but it's normal.   Be gentle with yourself and others.     [07:18] Kris welcomes Kathryn Burgum, the First Lady of North Dakota.  Kathryn has over 19 years of sobriety.    Kathryn's first drink was at age 8.  There was lots of alcohol in her household and her parents were regular drinkers.    In high school, Kathryn struggled with anxiety and depression;  drinking was her nirvana because it gave her some relief. She had her first blackout in high school, and they continued for twenty years.    Kathryn experienced many consequences due to her drinking; the loss of self-respect was at the top of her list.  Getting a DUI pushed her

Today we have Stacy Jo, she is 34 years old, from Oregon and took her last drink on March 6, 2020.  Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Paul provides part 2 of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    Dr. Lembke talks about how it's a known fact that when we are in our addiction, we can't accurately see the consequences or what's taking place. With abstinence, we can look back and say, OH MY   The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.   Being smart or highly educated doesn't make you immune to addiction, in fact, it might even backfire because you think you know everything.  More than 1/2 the world's deaths, under the age of 50, are attributable to addiction. Rates of alcoholism have gone up 50% for those aged 65 and up from the late 90's to today and have gone up 80

Today we have Bill.  He is 61, from Alabama, and took his last drink on April 29, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Paul provides part one of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.    "Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise for they show us who we truly are." Dr. Lembke says that drinking is not a choice but seeking help for an addiction is a choice.    The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years.  American society and economy are focused on an insatiable pursuit of pleasure.  Today's marketers target the dopamine system; thus, we all struggle to find homeostasis.  Addiction can show up as alcohol, social media, food, etc.  Addiction is a low-grade discomfort we all have as humans.  She believes we ar

Today we have Charlie.  He is 35, from Missouri and took his last drink on July 7, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul   Addiction is a modern phenomenon.  Alcohol has been around for centuries.  Early "treatment" of alcoholics included being jailed, tortured, and often executed for being possessed by demons.  As treatment has evolved, we are moving toward FLOW states.  Our mental energies are redirected from addiction toward creating healthier neural connections.  In the 1930's, alcoholism was classified as a fatal medical condition.  In 1935 Bill W co-founded AA.  In 1949 the Hazelden Foundation was born, thus creating our modern-day rehab and treatment structures. https://www.cornerstoneofrecovery.com/a-history-of-addiction-and-addiction-treatment/   Fortunately, people are recovering from alcoholism because the stigma is softening, and people are recognizing this is more a disease of disconnection and lac

Today we have Michael.  He is 43, from N. Georgia and took his last drink on January 1, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Paul discusses three elements that are critical to doing your part in recovery.  Paul believes self-respect, self-love, and well-being are fundamental to healing.  Doing the work is essential, and it eventually becomes embodied in your circuitry.  Over time, we retrain the brain to stop self-harming with alcohol, pop tarts, and disrespect from others.    The state of our world reflects our lack of connection with ourselves, our planet, and our community.  He believes a tipping point is upon us.  We can help the world by fixing our internal environment, our inner pollution that results in external contamination - that is our part.  The inner work (i.e., letting go of resentments) benefits others as well.    [11:01] Michael took his last drink on January 1, 2020.  He is from 43, marrie

On today's podcast we've got Britt, she is 45, from California and she took her last drink on November 13, 2018. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    Highlights from Paul   Solving human problems can be discovered in nature.  Lone bison run away from storms in the opposite direction.  Humans run away from cravings and tough life challenges.  Packs of bison walk through the storm together, shoulder to shoulder.  They know the quickest way to weather the storm is through.  It's vital that we work alongside others to weather the storm of addiction.  Facing the storm together is fun.   [6:52] Paul shares a great story about his adventures with Britt and how much he admires how she has embraced her AF journey.  Paul loves how Britt burned the ships and showed how invigorating life can be sans alcohol.      [09:54] Britt took her last drink November 13, 2018.  She loves the outdoors, hiking and music.   Britt had a slow burn into active add

On today's podcast we've got Mike, he is 36, from Fort Worth, TX and he took his last drink on September 20, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Highlights from Paul   We are incredibly hard on ourselves. The point of this episode is to give us permission to let much of that go, and to move the needle slightly on how you view yourself and the drinking.   Hating yourself for drinking, for not being able to quit drinking, for not holding the promises made to yourself, etc. isn't productive.  The shame and guilt that accompany those statements isn't either.   Dr. Gabor Mate congratulates someone who experienced depression. Why? Because depression and anxiety are mechanisms that kick in for us to go internal and find ourselves. Give yourself a break if you experience addiction, anxiety, or depression. Use them as levers to learn to know and love yourself.    Check out Paul's YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mVZadRTkA&a