Love Hate Debate

Ep 4 Season 2 Girls, girls, girrrrrrrls Unless you have been under a rock this week, we all know that this ep is dedicated to Alex NATION (if we have to say her surname it is going in caps!!) and Brooke get their kiss on creating love hexagons all over paradise. Other notables in the kissing stakes were Jules and Alisha

Ep 3 Season 2 We start at the end of last nights rose ceremony with Britt doing the happy dance with her rose including poses that we can categorically say no one has ever done before and perhaps no one should do again? Cat does a runner out of paradise while Vanessa Sunshine stands and accepts her fate. Pretty much says everything you need to know about the difference between these two women. New entrants Davey and Jules (sans curly moustache and zany backing track) join the castaways. A quad date has Brooke & Nathan and Alex N & Bill discovering new options. Fash-un lowlights were Cass and her almost there, leave nothing to the imagination en-sem along with Paddys head band. We suspect it was somehow cutting oxygen supply to his brain explaining quite a lot. Vee is off to find Paddy a professional anger management course while Shari is preparing to issue passports to the newly discovered land of Delusionville for Cat, James, Rachel & Paddy ☀️

Ep 2 Season 2 Bachelor in Paradise 2019 More entrances from Vanessa Sunshine & Alex Nation two women who we can only call by both names. Fashion low lights included Cats scrunchie & Shannon’s rose ceremony ensemble. I said love, I said pet...no. We finally got to understand the drama behind Richie and Alex’s split. It’s sad and personal and we feel bad for prying. Sorry guys, as you were. Vee learns that “spilling the tea” has more to do with gossip than Bushells black with one sugar while Shari is stoked for Brittney that her conga line finally became a reality. Cha cha, cha cha, CHA CHA!

Ep 1 Season 2 BULA!! Tonight we meet and greet with the “leftovers” from past Batchelor series including those of Sophie Monk, Ali, Ritchie and at least 5 women who dodged the Honey Badger bullet. Fashion lowlights include Shannon’s hat, Brooke’s earrings and Paddy and Bill doing a “who wore it better” with their choice of board shorts. How embarrassment!

Ep 41 The Final Couch-down There is literally (we mean figuratively) 100 people in this room and no, Billy you will not get to speak tonight. Nobody cares. Not even the experts. For our sins we will be punished with more wailing, sighing and handwringing by Magic Mike and Heidi. You two are toxic together and Mike and his views on females should have been left in the 1900s. That is all we are going to say about that! While Michael & Martha, Jessika with a K & Dan and a weird late coupling of new BFFs Lizzy & Innes ride off into the sunset together, Vee and Shari are preparing their ensembles for Cam & Jules wedding. Surely their invitations are in the mail?? Until next season.....it’s been a ride.

Ep 40 Dinner Party revenge - a - palooza Smug marrieds have become smug engageds who will then become the smug marrieds for realz at some stage in the future and.......we don’t care. The swinging singles have returned either because they are contractually obligated or for The Gram. This does not include Ning who is looking for hair related cues from Mark that will definitely mean he still has the feels. Everyone seemed to be having a good time and for Queen Cyrell this JUST WILL NOT DO! So she slowly puts on her crown and sceptre and screams at the top of her lungs “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!” There was yelling, finger pointing, Michaels balls get tossed around and finally wine thrown on heads and dresses. #tears ensue from Vee screaming “noooooo not the Prada!!!” While Shari is apologises to her viewing buddies for having to watch the most popular show on Australian TV.

Ep 39 : this is fucking torture. Srsly!!!!!! Which dickhead had the weapons-grade stupid idea to dedicate a whole hour and a half episode to possibly the most toxic, troublesome & torturous relationships in MAFS history????? While Vee is quietly grinning herself that she had to work and missed the episode #sorrynotsorry

Ep 38 Blindsides & Bullshitters Mark & Ning and Martha & Michael step back up to the plate tonight for the recommitment ceremony and the girls are SHOOK! No spoilers here....just press play

Ep 37 - Will they or will they?!?!......and of course they do and we know they do because....the internet. Anyhoo realising we were about to be punished for our sins and made to sit through an hour and a half of repeats and non events Shari and Vee have done their best to put lipstick on this pig of an episode and have pulled out some tasty morsels for your listening pleasure. Enjoy

Ep 36 : The last Dinner Party

Ep 35 : When will it end

Ep 34 The Extended Version We are starting to feel like Farmer Wants a Wife and are hostages in a show that is keeping us around waaaayyyyy to long. Highlights include a romantic treehouse getaway for Ning and Mark where literally no “romance” will be taking place and an awesome day on the water for new couple Jess and Dan who may not even wait until they get off the boat to get jiggy with it. Shari (insert all of us) are loving Mikes triumphant return home from drinks with Jess only to be reminded by Heidi that he does nothing right.

Ep 33 - The Final Commitment Couch It’s a BIG night because we know what’s coming and want to know once and for all do the “EXPERTS” have any morals or only eyes for the ratings?! Shari and Vee agree that Heidi and Mike will have to go their seperate ways in the end and we are watching the slow unwinding of a painful coupling. We are also watching a deeper coupling of Cam & Jules and the pain is all ours - hey Jules STOP TOUCHING CAMS BEARD...it’s just creepy. Now everybody...shhhh Jess has something to say and everyone seems to be genuinely shook. The experts prove that they do not deserve their seats on the couch - talk about three people who can justify any decision - just wow! But thank-goodness for that as we can watch a forbidden romance blossom and the fallout from all the drama for another 2 weeks. Now say it with us Martha....#bless

Ep 32 The Aftermath - we are shook! But first STOP - Cams braces need to be immediately removed and burned. Nice try Cam but...they did not escape our attention.

Ep 31 - Big nite out! Da boiz and da grls are excited to get out on the town. Tam in particular is excited to hear all the goss - especially if it’s not about her

Ep 30 : and what the hell is all the crying about? Oh that’s right it’s Family & Friends night! And to be honest Cam, that can be totally . . . traumatising. While Cam had all the feels tonight, Magic Mike has lost the feels and the food apparently?!? Perhaps Heidis dinner is in the same place as Farmer Wants a Wife’s thongs???? Srsly dude put some shoes on!!!!!!!

Ep 29 : Commitment Couch. The girls have decided this weekly episode needs a brand refresh as it hardly a ceremony

Dinner Party - warning ⚠️ this is a long episode but we’ve seen things have some stuff to say!! Cyclone Cyrell never went away she went out to sea, regenerated and is heading straight for the dinner party with the promise “whatever comes into my head tonight I’m gonna say” FUCK YEAH! The low ranking couples have started to commit crimes of fashion just to get everyone’s attention. Vee is not impressed. Our burn pile grows. Shari is a bit worried Billies Mum is listening (sorry Billies Mum) and we introduce a new member of our team Researcher X who is shovelling the dirt on Suzie.

Ladies Week continues but we have seen something that has grabbed our attention and we are NOT happy about it. We have a vivid recollection of taking Jules bedazzled jeans, throwing them on the HATE pile and setting them alight but what do we see??!! Jules has either stolen them off the HATE pile (allegedly) OR wait for it....Jules owns a SECOND PAIR OF BEDAZZLED JEANS

Ladies Week : Jules apartment is total #realestategoals and makes us wonder what business she’s really into