Curtain Jerks Wrestling Podcast

Hulk Hogan and Ed Leslie (w/Jimmy Hart) try to whip out a sex tape and let it run wild all over us, Road Warrior Animal says Joker Sting should leave TNA for WWE, Taco Bell makes a new Dorito shell, Triple H makes 1 Million Dollars, Eric Bischoff dishes the dirt on Garrett in Impact Wrestling, Rhino and Billy Corgan revive ECW, we attempt to answer listener Twitter questions about wrestling porn, Newt Gingrich is a Real American, and we call the TNA Impact Zone ticket hotline at Universal Studios Hollywood!

Vince McMahon explains why Pat Patterson won't give you your finishes, Undertaker scares THE Brian Kendrick, TNA wrestlers get drunk at the Double Tree, The New York Post disses the WWE Network, Jeff Jarrett goes on Spring Break with James Franco and Selena Gomez, Major League Lacrosse gets Tazzmissioned, Warrior screams f**k a lot at a band you've never heard of, and we feel the Macho Madness one more time...

The Jerks attend a WWE Raw house show live at Staples Center in Los Angeles where the "Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay reappears (with only one dancing girl!), Chris Jericho gets TPed, and little kids love watching John Cena beat the hate out of Kane. Plus, Golddust is disappointed when Cody gets a new Wrestlemania match, Stone Cold Steve Austin's Package takes over Canada, The Iron Shiek makes Hogan, Warrior, and some very lucky ladies humble, plus Triple H and Undertaker promise to go all the way.

Brodus Clay is missing from WWE Raw (so the Jerks call back his Momma), TMZ reports that John Cena is part of the 1%, WWE CEO Vince McMahon is sad about WWE Diva Victoria/TNA Knockout Tara, Impact Wrestling President Dixie Carter might be on Xanax, ROH star Chris Hero gets KOed in FCW, Kane limbers up using DDPYoga, the Jerks answer listener questions from Twitter, and Triple H wants you to learn Spanish...Ole!

The jerks bust out the old VCR and play the WWF Wrestlemania VHS Game! It was made between Wrestlemania IV and V and it's nearly impossible to play. Marc stalks Disney characters, Hulk Hogan takes on the Honky Tonk Man, Andre the Giant is clearly drunk, Steve works on a big important Hollywood project, the crew watches some awesome 80's wrestler clips, a woman announcer existed at one time, and Hogan takes Harley Race out!

Pro Wrestling Superstar John Morrison joins the show to talk about the WWE, a mishap live on Raw with Charlie Hass and Lillian Garcia, how Tae Kwon Do helped (and hurt) his skills, and John busts out his Drew McIntyre impression. Plus the guys discuss what Jesse 'The Body" Ventura knows about The Rock and Osama Bin Laden, WWE jobs has another exciting opening, Ultimate Warrior turns his website into wrestling's Amercian Idol, and Hulk Hogan's electrical weiner is runnin' wild...

WWE and ECW Superstars John Morrison and Tommy Dreamer join us to discuss getting free rides from fans on the road, cabbies who love Beulah McGillicutty's Playboy/Penthouse pic, hitting the gym with John Cena, wrestling Kevin Steen, and why Tommy Dreamer is a self described "whore". Plus Undertaker returns to Raw in a terrifying new wig and confronts Triple H, TMZ thought Kharma was 9 months pregnant at the Royal Rumble (?!), Jim Ross' secret plan for a Mick Foley match on Alcatraz, and somebody finally calls Brodus Clay's momma!

WWE Raw GM John Laurinaitis gets a fax from 1997, Hulk Hogan and Troy Aikman want to rent you a waterbed, no one understands a Royal Rumble with every superstar eligible to enter for "the first time in history", JR's is tougher than a government mule (#Sauceit!), The Rock encourages Hawaiian children to skip school, Batsita and Bobby Lashley in a dream match, and will Vince McMahon be played by Ashton Kutcher in the Chris Benoit movie?

Find out the shocking true story behind former WWE Tag Team Champs Evan Borne and Kofi Kingston crashing and burning as Air Boom, plus Kurt Angle loves TNA and Jim Ross, Hulk Hogan finally returns to the UK with Impact Wrestling and a tack in his mouth, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H take sides in Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, and Dixie Carter trades Ric Flair for a 1989 VHS copy of WWF King of the Ring.

Somebody call my mama! The "Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay finally debuts on Raw and turns WWE fans against each other, Dixie Carter explains why TNA star Ric Flair is going back to WWE Hall of Fame (and how Jeff Hardy's face paint and Advil are involved), Kevin Nash and the Ultimate Warrior do MMA battle on PPV for...One Gazillion Dollars(!), Keepin' it real on The Rock, Undertaker and Kane share their sappy emotions about a double-reverse- Wrestlemaina-retirement-match with Brock Lesnar, and Jesus checks in on Stone Cold Steve Austin and Tim Tebow 316.

The jerks bust out Marc's old VCR to review "WWF In Your House: The Canadian Stampede" from 1997. Spoiler alert: it's still awesome. In this episode, the guys offend some Canadians, the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth isn't Vince's, pre-One-Night-In-Chyna Chyna, Mankind hurts himself yet again, Japanese wrestlers actually existed back then, Vader desperately wants to know who the man is, the Harts (even the crappy ones) have a family reunion, last words from Paul Bearer, Vince, Shamrock, Hawk, Animal, and Goldust, and we get exclusive access to Ken Shamrock's in-ring audio.

It's a special New Year's edition of Curtain Jerks as the guys look ahead to 2012! Watch out WWE... TNA's secret plans to launch a Network of their own are leaked (including great new shows like "Good Eats with Samoa Joe", "The Garrett Bischoff Experience", and "The Dixie Carter Twitter Feed") Plus the full Wrestlemania 2012 card is revealed including the Undertaker's opponent and Daniel Bryan's title match. And Jesse Ventura exposes the biggest conspiracies in professional wrestling! "The Body" tells the truth about what Shane McMahon is really doing in China, the mystery of the Raw GM, and how former Vice President Dick Cheney is involved.

It's a very special Curtain Jerks holiday tale, and Charles Dickens' classic "Christmas Carol" will never be the same! After being visited by the heavyweight ghosts of his past, present, and future, will the evil Mr. McMahon abandon "Sports Entertainment" and embrace pro wrestling's roots? Featuring the characters of Vince McMahon, TNA President Dixie Carter, Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, "The Game" HHH, The Undertaker, Stephanie McMahon, Zach Ryder, "The Genius" Lanny Poffo, The Iron Sheik, Booker T, Marty Jannety, John Laurinaitis, Harley Race, Goldust, Dusty Rhodes, Howard Finkle, Evan Bourne, Michael Cole, Daniel Bryan, and more.

Kane returns to WWE Raw as a welder, 62 year old TNA lover Ric Flair wants $100,000 to take your young impressionable 17 year old daughter to the prom, Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake take a break from oiling each other up to sue Linda McMahon and Frankie, Team Extreme is 4Life, 1/2/12 Countdown (!?), ROH Final Battle love, and Booker T's pyro might even be better then a Side-Walk-Slam!

It's a show of shorthand and note taking as Steve applies for an incredibly real job at WWE Corporate, TMZ says that WWE Diva Kharma's baby daddy popped the question with a ring of a ring, Lillian Garcia gets off a cruise ship and out of Hooters so she can lay the Smackdown, John Cena explains his stupid pants, diamonds are forever and apparently so is Ric Flair in TNA, Dixie Carter explains how Impact Wrestling will take over the world in 2012, does the WWE Network spell the end of PPV?, and a TLC Mad Libs brings the whole family together.

The Curtain Jerks play WWE Mad Libs and it's (insert excalmation here)! Plus TMZ reports that "Longest Regining WWE Champion" JBL had his Texas scooter stolen from a Berduma police Station, a sad Big Show hates his own gimmick, someone actually misses Hulk Hogan and Sting on TNA Impact, a WWE '12 report, Smashing Pumpkins lead singer Billy Corgan starts a concussion-free indie fed, and Sin Cara's penis helps WWE Shopzone sell some T-Shirts.

It's an exclusive interview with current WWE Superstar Heath Slater! Heath talks about WWE, fighting a Zombie Michael Cole, Dancing with the Stars (not that one, a different one but with the same name), his relationship with Christian, behind the scenes at NXT, being a character in the WWE 12 video game, and the birth of the nickname One Man Rock Band (featuring Vince McMahon) all while enjoying his Honeymoon aboard Norwegian Cruise Lines. Sound weird? It is! Plus a pop quiz on the new WWE Network shows, and Nikolai Volkoff holds onto a bear hug for just a little too long.

It's the show that answers the question: why is Hulk Hogan sleeping with a masked Jeff Hardy? Plus the guys debate The Rock and Mick Foley returns, WWE '12 gets Brett more excited than a little boy on Christmas morning, Marc is jetlagged from a trip to Spain (where he watched WWE Raw in Espanol!) yet "keeps it real" on Vince McMahon the new WWE Network shows featuring Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Big Show's dogs, and much more!

The Jerks tell personal stories of hanging out with the biggest names in wrestling! Marc stalks Koko B. Ware and King Kong Bundy at an airport then hugs a bunch of wrestlers at once, Brett survives Survivor Series and grabs Junkyard Dog's cakes, Scott tries to get a pic with the Undertaker and breaks Stone Cold news, Marc is beaten with a kendo stick and isn't afraid of Pitbull, Scott gets an apology from John Cena, Virgil has a series gambling problem, Brett goes fist-to-fist with Khali, and much more!

It's a special episode dedicated to the critically acclaimed new documentary, "Memphis Heat: The True Story of Memphis Wrasslin'" The Curtain Jerks host a Q and A in front of a live audience a The Second City - Hollywood with "Memphis Heat" Director Chad Schaffler and former Memphis Rasslin referee and manager Scott Bowden! We include questions from Wrestling Observer Message Board members as well as the live audience. It's the most eye-gouging, piledriving, busted-open episode yet! For more on "Memphis Heat" go to MemphisHeatTheMovie.com