Your Kickstarter Sucks

What’s this episode of YKS about? Well, I can tell you what it’s NOT about: saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, total sugars, added sugars, vitamin D, calcium, iron, or potassium. Plus it comes in a small aluminum can with a “color swirl design”, and can be purchased in quantities of 8 or 24. And it tastes alright once you get to be in your 30s. Plus, we’re talking woke fetuses, sales couches, and morbin’ time. Basically a bunch of stupid crap you can see if you go on the computer. And I shoved a “Beach Plum” up my ass. Whatever that is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! The only place they let us actually be ourselves! This past week, we finished up YKS Beach Party with the one and only Howell Dawdy! Join us for an in-depth discussion of Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, aka Silly Movie 2. Was it Jacko’s finest work? Well, uh.

Mike and JF…they are are one “Odd Couple”. Sure, “I Love Lucy”, but something about these two really makes me smile. I guess you could say I’m “Bewitched” by them. Oh, you don’t listen? Well, hey, “Diff’rent Strokes” for different folks. By the way, I have captured and tied up the extraterrestrial creature known as “ALF”; he’s in my basement right now! And so on. Today’s YKS is a good one for everybody but Italians I’m sorry to say, but the rest of you are going to be treated to some new kitchen innovations, a twisted ripoff card game of a twisted ripoff card game, and believe it or not, a really corny and stupid webcomic! It’s a “The Facts Of Life” that you’re gonna like this one! Sorry I closed the Nick at Nite Wiki and couldn’t remember any other ones. Okay see ya.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Bikinis? Check. Robot sidekicks? Check. Michael Jackson? Say

You know what they say about sequels…they’re just as good, if not much better, everyone comes away from them feeling satisfied, and more importantly, wanting even more! That’s why we decided to burn the candle at both ends and pump out another YKS Nights! It’s not because we’re fucking up our schedules! It’s a creative decision! This week we’ve got an answer to the question “What was John Wick like before the movies, and if it wasn’t Keanu Reeves in it?” , some shoes so ugly even JF wouldn’t wear them, and a device for killing bugs that makes that salt shotgun look ingenious by comparison. Plus, Producer Dan eats a burger LIVE! You ain’t gonna get that anywhere else…unless you see Dan walking around, I guess. In which case, DO NOT APPROACH! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.The Beach Party over at YKS Premium continues! Last week we had our friend Demi Lardner

Oooh it’s steamy…ooh it’s dreamy…it’s YKS Nights! YKS Nights is just like YKS Daytime, except, you know, a little…steamier and dreamier. On this week’s episode we got a hell of a lot of hot shaving content that’ll turn you on without a touch. This is so hot, you gotta be yankin me! Come on Hoo Hoo Masters, it’s time to get all steamed up! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.You’re Invited! All month long on YKS Premium, we’re throwing the biggest blowout bash blast this side of Shangri-La! Join us and our many special guests as we celebrate the summer of silly the only way we know how: podcasting! If you’re not subscribed yet, you missed last week’s episode with our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck of Blocked Party, who dialed in from the Left Coast to talk Surf School (2006), perhaps Harland Williams’ worst film! $5 today, (or even better, $8) and it’s all yo

Don’t miss this episode! Your old friends Mike and JF are back and they’re even wackier than ever before, due to probably a bunch of chemicals in our air and water and blood I’m guessing. On today’s show we got some evidence as to what happens when you ironically appreciate some evil stuff a little bit too much, when you unironically appreciate some other evil stuff way too much, and when you just straight up hate one single guy, who may or may not be evil, for unknown reasons. Believe it or not, every single time, it’s a Kickstarter project. Anyway, strap in and start hootin, cause it’s time for a wet and wild episode of YkS: ThE PoDcAsT! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium. Many people are saying listening to the show will “cure all your diseases.” Do I endorse that view? Well, I’ll say this. I’m the guy who makes the show and, as far as I know, the

Of all the universes in all the multiverses, THIS is the one you chose to portal us to?! The one with a brand new YKS dropping, and it’s about a bunch of crazy Kickstarters and stuff!? You better know what you’re doing, because if we don’t retrieve the Cube of Crowdfundium by the time Brendle’s Song plays…well, let’s just say you better hold on to your board games, buster! On today’s show, ah yes, it says right here in the scrolls, there was a really weird thing about car keys, a psycho copsucker app, oh my, and yes, this is the exact date they discussed the guy gluing a lighter to his cell phone! It’s just as was foretold…now hurry, back to The Webby. We might just have enough hyperfuel to bounce to the next cryptoworld…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.After an episode like this, they should really consider not doing any more of the show. And yet! The Adventu

Dan's Bong had a Facebook page. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For even more coverage of Dan's Bong Adventures, head on over to YKS Premium. That's basically what we're doing over there now, yeah. Today's episode of YKS Premium is sponsored by these fine brands.Schedule35 - Now I was always taught to not eat stuff that you found in the woods, on the ground. Come to find out, maybe if I had thrown that particular yoke off a bit earlier in life, I could have a better and deeper understanding of my self and environment etc? Guhh? Well that's what I read anyway. And with Schedule35, they picked the stuff up off the ground for you, and measured it and told you how much to take and stuff. And I bet they even washed the things, too. Sound too good to be true? Well, it ain't. Get 15% off your order at Schedule35.co with the promo code YKS.Doctor Butlers - Hemorrhoid

Y'all! Come quick! Ol' Dan's got into the steamies again! On today's program -- and sorry if the episode description seems a little "catty". My cat is doing the thing where she reaches out her claw very slowly to slightly nick my finger skin so that it itches for the next 2 days. God I love animals soo much -- we've got a step by step recipe for Mike's special chili cleanse and god damn it she's doing it right now and it hurts why can't we just sit here and chill or maybe talk or whatever. Plus we've got the long-awaited reboot of fortune cookies, a lamp so stupid even Brick wouldn't love it, and a major leap in pet tech ok now she's laid her head down on the laptop edge which is super smart cause that doesn't have to close or anything right?? Ok enjoy the show I'm going to go stand up and have an animal get mad at me for doing it. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola

YKS...what a pod. Man, there is no topic these guys won't touch. But would they touch a $50 bill inside the toilet, or a $10 on the seat? Well, they didn't talk about it on the show, so there's no answer in the 90-some minutes of content here. It's outside the bounds of the conversations, really. Actually, it's up to you to decide. Would Mike take the $50? Would JF play it safe with the tenner? Do either of them go to the bathroom after seeing the money? Was it a number one or a number two, anyway? Write that stuff down on a sheet of paper and turn it in with your parent/guardian's signature next week. And whoever gets it right, will get one sticker. Which I have to pay for, out of my own pocket by the way. Think about your answers while you hear the boys talk about indoctrinating children with crypto cartoons, new ways to wipe our asses, and new ways to wipe our teeth. Plus, a product they're already heavily advertising on Tiktok, so you know it's good! Out of the VIP club and into the poop hoop! It's a new

Alright gang I'm gonna level with ya. I am sicker than I can remember being in years. I'm dictating this episode description to Siri from the toilet. And I think it's going pretty well so far. New incognito window. Crazy busty porno where it seems like everyone is enjoying themselves equally. Scan ahead 13 mins. Pause. Switch tabs. And so it's not gonna be the world's longest description, okay? It's just -- switch tabs scan through video back and forth pause, go back, add query "staff picks" -- not. I just ain't feelin' up to looking at such a big computer screen for more than, statistically speaking, 3-5 minutes. But yes on today's show you will hear about Mike passing on the bag, the proliferation of the lizard people, and honestly probably the most Kickstarters we've ever mentioned in one episode of the show. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going. Close tab. Open new tab. Search will god forgive me. Delete. Search best burgers. Enter. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Balone

Straight from Jacko’s hyperbolic chamber…it’s the YKS boys! On today’s show we’re doing all kinds of fun shit. First you got this Mike guy, who knows a lot about the TV show Friends. Then you got this JF character, and whoaaa boy, look out for that guy. And when they both get the woke mind virus? Ah golly! Well, let’s just hope they had enough time to go over a crazy new hot box for your cats, a crypto tracker just in time for crypto’s great resurgence, and an app where you can ask someone to send you a picture of a hotel room before you book it. Heh. Something tells me there was plenty of time. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium…oh my god, I love it! That’s why I go to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, to sign up and then pay for it. It’s good to do this!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Schedule35 - Now normally I hate having a

Great news, everyone! We just found out we’ve been renewed for another 250 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve decided to bring back some of the classic YKS things you all loved so much, with a fun “Next 250 Episodes” twist. This week, you’ll enjoy a stupid piece of bathroom tech, some rebadged bulk dropshipped electronics, and a weird guy with ideas about how he could run the country. But THIS time, we will sound approximately 5 years older. And that’s just a taste of what we have in store for you all this time around. So if that sounds like the ride of a lifetime, slap that motherfuckin play button and let’s fast forward to our 40s baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium – the ONLY place to double your YKS fun, every single damn week! Now with video! See if you can pause on the spliced in scenes of our balls! This episode of YKS is brought to you by thes

Two Hundred Fifty episodes. Now that's what I call a very significant milestone. Even though some of the episodes were reruns from YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and there are hundreds of YKS Premium episodes too. So is this really 250, when it's actually like 482? Yep. That's what the number says, so that's what it is. On today's 250th episode, which is the number that it is, we're dealing with our 3 Foes, cooking toxins, and Mike's Little Freakout Pile. Plus we got a cool book for kids...who like motorcycles, a guy doing some 2007 style YouTube stuff...today, and yet another porch package device...with a twist! And a very special anniversary edition of Real or Fake. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For ad-free versions of YKS and much more, head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Just a straightforward plug. Nothing wrong with that sometimes. Not everything

Whether you’re driving in the car, folding your laundry at home, or simply falling asleep and hoping there’s not a super loud fart noise piped into the mix from totally out of nowhere, there’s no better podcast airing its 249th episode today than Your Kickstarter Sucks. On today’s program we lament the passing of Midwest Elvis, 86 our friend Mike Hale, and prove once and for all what the shape of Earth actually is. I think I forgot to say that David sent that Kickstarter in, and I can’t really go back and add that into the show, but I wanted to say it here in case David reads the episode descriptions. The problem is that we are using a dark mode extension for Google Docs and it makes basically all the colors but white hard to read. And I put “From David” in a red text, but it showed up really dark red. So that is my bad on that one David and oh yeah by the way, the earth is flat so I shouldn’t have done the Kickstarter anyway. Credits Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and

Oh my god…That’s what you’ll be saying when you hear this week’s episode of YKS, which is so full of awesome content I almost decided to rename it The Awesome Content Show. That’s right, I almost unilaterally made the decision to change the name of the show I do as a full time(ish) job from something identifiable, descriptive, and established (if a little mean) to “The Awesome Content Show”, an honorific perhaps only as blasé as it is inscrutable! Just playing. But keep in mind I could change the name of this show at any fuckin’ time I want. On today’s show, we’re talkin melty clocks, rich guys reinventing the bus, and the ethics of using a marinade on your chicken. Plus we spill the tea on what it’s like being live show superstars, after our recent standing ovation (maybe? Couldn’t bear to look straight ahead) at Zanies with the Doughboys. Download it now, you 8-digited Cro-magnonite! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin.

Hoppy Easter, Everyone! Well, Easter, of course, was yesterday, and I’d love to tell you we did something special for the holiday, but honestly I don’t think either one of us knew it was coming up when we recorded it. So instead, I believe this episode will be our usual mix of whiny complaints about aging, nutting in a condom jokes, somebody farting, something you won’t hear because we had Dan cut it out at the last minute, and maybe 1 or 2 Kickstarters. There’s gonna be a couple ads on the regular episode, and none if you’re on the ad-free Patreon. Plus, we will make the world a better place due to our good deeds. Oh yeah and Mike sticks an easter egg up his ass. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Faherty - A lifetime guarantee of quality…one thing you’ll get with Faherty’s fine clothing that you will

April showers bring….whaaaa? Shitty Kickstarters? Well that ain’t what I heard, but so be it! On today’s show, your friends Mike and JF show you a brand new world…a world in which viral posts existed before the normal-wheeled bicycle, the toilet has been perfected with a urine trebuchet, and your family never has to say goodbye to you because you will always be on a dinky little website (as long as the hosting fee gets paid). And that’s not all! Well, actually I guess it kind of is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well that’s why the Christian God invented YKS Premium! Last week the boys supported independent cinema by taking a trip to the theater and reviewing Morbius, and this week? Oh, brother…you’re just gonna have to join to find out! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - Ah yes, meals. The famous thing we lov

Now this is interesting...says here on this card that this week’s episode of YKS goes out to the YKS discord and all of its perfect members, especially Drake and our close personal friend, Discord user Rob. Wow! Sounds like a real fine group of characters. I can only hope those folks like hearing about the Dadbod of Destiny, a brand new streaming platform for horse lovers, and a custom machine that can bulk-mix the world's 654th most popular cocktail on demand. Knowing them...heh...I'd bet anything they will. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Put some YKS in your life! YKS Premium is the only place to get more Mike and JF unless you meet us in public and stab us in the bellies. Don't do that! Just head over to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and toss us an $8 bill to get video of each and every premium episode delivered in the crispest HD your video card can h

“He ate the whole wheel of cheese. I’m not even mad.” - UnknownRemember Sarah Palin? What was THAT all about, huh? She’s not in this episode at all really but I just saw something that reminded me of her and thought maybe you’d get a kick out of remembering her for a second as well. But if not, no worries, because you’re about to listen to about 90 minutes of pure nonsense from 2-3 bozos with barely anything going on. Today’s episode, for instance, features a Bitcoin wallet which is just a credit card, an idea that actually makes pizza bad somehow, and, incredibly, a Donald Trump RPG. That’s right folks, it’s episode 244, and that’s what’s going on. But that’s Monday for ya. Enjoy! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium: The only way to become a guaranteed genius. Trying out some new marketing techniques on these plugs. First up: an inscrutable lie! Hey

It’s Arts and Crafts Time, It’s Arts and Crafts Time…It’s time to make…this hat! On today’s show, appropriately enough, we are talking about the devilish ways of Nature’s Demons: Children, as JF has a showdown at the D&B Corral with the Token Ticket Coward. Also, ever wonder when we’re gonna get Capitalism II? Yeah, we did too. It’s so good. We invented it! Plus we got a tree that grows on your computer, a type of doll you can make whoopee with, and some real Iron Man tech if Tony Stark had like $56 instead of a million trillion. Spin your luck now! And download this shit!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS? Yup, yup. Heard it a million times before. People want more YKS but they don’t know where to get it. Well how about this. Sign up for YKS Premium on Patreon and download all the extra episodes you want. Hey it’s only $5! Which is probably wo