Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

Today we have Spencer. He's 44 years old from Minneapolis, MN and took his last drink on September 23rd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:04] Highlights from Paul:   Start your day with a smile. It doesn't matter if the smile is fake or real. The body doesn't know the difference and the nervous system always responds positively with a smile.   Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones. Smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline. It also reduces overall blood pressure.   Another reason to smile is that research shows that smiles are contagious. Most people will find a way to reciprocate in a friendly manner. Smiling is a way to be of service because it makes other people's days better.   Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has said "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of y

Today we have Mike. He is 44 from Huntsville, AL and took his last drink on April 10th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:42] Highlights from Paul:   Paul shares how releasing his first album is a huge win for him and that the listeners are a big part of making it happen.   Something commonly heard when people quit drinking is "what is going to fill the void?". We have to rediscover likes and interests. Part of the journey is trying out new hobbies. Sometimes it takes a while to find out what we like to do though, so be patient with  your healing.   If you want to hear the outro song and the full album under the name of Pablo Church, you can check it out on Spotify, or search your preferred music streaming service. What dreams, goals, aspirations, did you have that alcohol stifled like a wet soggy blanket. What did alcohol bump down on your list of personal goals? What do you want in life now that alcohol is no longer in

Today we have Ryan. He's 33 years old from Orange County, NY and took his last drink on September 24th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners in the USA! Be sure to take some time this week and let the universe know what you are thankful for and remember a drink won't make your holiday any better. [02:42] Highlights from Paul:   It's the last Q&A episode and today's question is from Darren in Tampa Bay who asks, "What if I can't quit drinking?"   Paul shares that he could have asked this same question not that long ago and his message to Darren and others that maybe feeling this way is to keep moving forward, don't quit quitting, keep using the mind to build, to visualize your alcohol-free life. Accept it all, embrace the journey, and you will come out the other side.   Paul rephrases the question to ask, "what if I can't quit drinking today?" and shares some thoughts and strategies to im

Today we have Nathan. He's 42 years old and from Andover, MN and took his last drink on April 19th, 2023. [02:01] Highlights from Paul:   Today's question is from Darren A. who asks, "Can you discuss resentment and letting go of resentment?"   Life is a school where the people, places, and things are there to help us grow and become deeper human beings. The people we encounter in life are there to help us grow.    The theory is that none of this is happening to you. Remember, that is how a victim speaks. Flip that to believe that everything that has ever happened to you in your life is happening for you, for your own personal growth and development, to make you a more resilient human being.   Resentments are the teachers. Yes, they suck, they emotionally and physically hurt, but they are the opportunities for healthy and normal growth.   Another strategy is to stop labeling things as good or bad. When a person, place or thing pisses you off, try to recognize the mind immediately slapping a label on it, try to

Today we have Chris. He is 40 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He took his last drink on February 16th, 2007. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:16] Highlights from Paul:   Today is episode 9 out of 10 in the Q&A series.   Today's question comes from Krista B, in our Café RE group. She says:   "How Paul is feeling about ayahuasca and other plant medicines. Are you still as passionate about its benefits today as a few years ago? Has the treatment worked in a sustained way, in your opinion?"   Paul shared his initial experience with ayahuasca in episode 170. He believes that plant medicines have a place in the world of addiction and mental health. Do not buy it on the internet and try it solo; set and setting is everything. There is so much preparation that needs to go into an ayahuasca ceremony and under the right circumstances, it will answer many questions. A big one being why you drink. Paul shares how ayahuasca still

Today we have Kristan. She is 60 years old and lives in Delaware. She took her last drink on June 3rd, 2019. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [01:34] Highlights from Kris:   Today we are continuing the Q & A series and it's a two for one. First question, Dale wants to know "How can I do more in my recovery community?"   Some traditional responses to this question might AA, or any other group with the word recovery in it. These are great, but Kris shares that we can expand our view to other groups. Church groups, book club, a running club, or a workout group.   Sharing can be a great way to get involved within a recovery community. Hearing others share and be vulnerable encourages us to share and be vulnerable too. By being open, you are being of service in your recovery. You never know who you may be helping with your share.   Think of the things that you bring to the table, and what you'd like to see your community of

Today we have Andy. He is 46 from Washington, DC and took his last drink on August 12th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [02:17] Highlights from Paul:   Today's question is from Liz in the Café RE OG group: "How Would You Describe a "Spiritual Experience" in Recovery? Was it a Bill W. "White Light" or a long series of little twinkles? Somewhere in between? Something else altogether?"   We all know there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking, but Paul believes the spirituality component is important, because it connects or reconnects you to the universe or a god of your understanding.   For many, a large twinkle of spirituality took place took place near the date of their last drink. Some call this a window of clarity. I've heard it been described as "I just knew it was going to be different this time." Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called them synchronicities or the breadcrumbs of life.   Everyone's version of s

Today we have Emilee. She is 33 from Double Springs, AL and has been alcohol free since February 26th, 2023.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [02:55] Highlights from Paul:   Today's question is from Dale: How do I stop comparing myself to others in Recovery?   This is a BIG PICTURE question. An issue that probably didn't arise when you quit drinking. I'm guessing this is something you have been doing for quite some time.   Part of this is healthy. You'll want to model your sobriety after someone who seems to have done the work, or who has what you want. You'll want to compare parts of your journey with theirs… But the key is not to have it consume you.   Paul shares his thoughts on this topic and reminds us that comparison is all part of the human condition and to know that when one person blooms, we all receive the benefit.   [10:30]: Kris introduces Emilee:   Emilee is 33 from Double Springs, AL. She is married and

Today we have Grant. He is 54 from Sacramento, CA and took his last drink on August 10th, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:16] Highlights from Paul:   We are five weeks into our Q & A series. This week's question comes from Sarah C. "What can you say to someone, so they don't drink?" Or how to help someone not drink.   Paul gives us some tried and true methods that work and strategies that the Recovery Elevator team believe in. Here are a few suggestions that Paul shares with us:   Tough love does not work, so a tone or stance of unconditional love needs to be present when confronting a friend who is about to drink.   Quick note about boundaries. Talking with people that are drunk can be triggering, and little can be done. Ask them to call you in the morning or when they are sober.   Being there with your presence, whether it is in person, via the phone or FaceTime, or Zoom, is the best thing you can do to h

Today we have Sarah. She is 46 and lives in Buckhannon, WV. Sarah has been alcohol free since December 15, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [02:23] Highlights from Paul:   We are four weeks into our ten-episode Q & A series and today's question is "what are alcohol withdrawals like in the first week?" This question as asked by Robyn in Café RE Blue.   The answer to this is going to depend on how much you drink on a daily or nightly basis and it's not a one size fits all answer.   I highly recommend detoxing under medical supervised care if you consume more than 6-8 drinks daily and have been doing so for several months or years. Quitting cold turkey can be life threatening. 72 hours is the magic number. Once you hit this number, the worst of the physical components are behind you.   Paul shares some tips for navigating the first week and shares some of the changes our bodies go through. The whole withdrawal pro

Today we have Santino. He is 35 from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [03:05] Highlights from Paul:   Today's question comes from Kelly in our Café RE Up Group. The question is "how do you make it through your first sober concert?"   The first of eight fantastic tips include giving yourself a little alcohol-free time before going to a concert. Once you've got some time under your belt, and the cravings are in check, then you can hit the green light on concerts.  Regardless of how many days you have, if you are feeling squirrely the dray of the concert then sit it out.  Sobriety is the priority.   Paul then shares several tips to include:   -       Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand. -       Do not volunteer to be the DD. -       Make sure everyone you are attending with knows your intentions.   Some of the best parts about sober concerts? You will rememb

Today we have Jen. She is 48 from Boulder, CO and took her last drink on May 12th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:48] Highlights from Kris:   Today's question comes from Dale in Virginia. He wants to know "how do I learn to let go of things, and stop trying to control?"   Kris feels that two themes that come up over and over in recovery are surrender and acceptance. He says there are different types of control and while some of it is normal and can be healthy, trying to control things such as other people and how they feel about us is not healthy.   Kris shares his insights about this topic and shares with us: "when I have unrest on the inside, it presents itself on the outside. When I find that inner peace, I can extend it to the world around me".   [11:50]: Kris welcomes Jen:   Jen joins us from Boulder, CO area and recently celebrated two years alcohol free. She is married and they have two kids and a d

Today we have Stephanie. She is 35 from and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022  Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:43] Highlights from Paul:   Paul and Kris are going to be doing a ten-part intro series where we answer questions from listeners.  If you have a question that you'd like us to answer on the air, send them to [email protected].   Paul shares one of his biggest regrets since starting the podcast and also answers the first question from Brady in South Denver. He asked, "can you be addicted to alcohol and not be an alcoholic?"   Paul begins his answer with "The Answer is yes. And no. And a little bit of yes, and little bit of No. Welcome to a world full of paradoxes."   Next week we will hear Kris answer the next question: "How do I learn to let go of things and stop trying to control?".   [09:23]: Paul introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie is 35 and she is from Connecticut, currently living

Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17th, 2008. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.          [02:24] Highlights from Paul:   Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves.   Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate's book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease.   Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder.   Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don't let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you're doomed

Today we have Cindy. She is 54 from Kure Beach, NC and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.     [03:23] Highlights from Paul:   After recently watching a social media video featuring a sober influencer dancing, Paul decided to challenge this individual to a breakdancing battle. Meanwhile another sober influencer viewing this video stated that watching this video made him want to drink.   Let's zoom out for a second.   The Tik Tok user, with millions of followers, said that watching videos of this person dancing - made them want to drink. To summarize that in two words it would be: Stop Dancing. Then we have Paul who challenges this person to a sober break dance battle. We can summarize this statement in two words: Keep dancing.   So, listeners, keep on dancing, and never stop. If you don't know your metaphorical or literal dance steps, stick around. The knowledge will return. If someone t

Today we have Chad. He is 51 from Southern Indiana and took his last drink on March 25th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.   Follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram! We're starting to put more video content on the platform so check it out.   [02:47] Highlights from Paul:   Something heard often while interviewing guests is "you don't know what it's like to grow up in Wisconsin, Texas, in Las Vegas, in Trenton, New Jersey, or you don't know how much we drink in…" fill in the blank. So yes, it is ubiquitous, but there is a front runner.   Check out the full list and see where your state ranks: Alcohol Consumption by State   In 2012 British researcher Dr. David Nutt was tasked by the government to put harm scores on 20 of the world's most harmful drug. Alcohol came in at #1 beating out crack, heroin, meth and cocaine.   Paul shares some stats about the costs of alcohol use disorder in Montana. You can see stats for all o

Today we have Kelly, she is 46 from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on June 18th, 2023.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:57] Highlights from Paul:   When saying the word "alcoholic", these images, and thoughts commonly come to mind:   Living under a Bridge. Brown paper bag. Homeless. Hopeless. Unemployed.   Some of this is accurate but studies show only 5% of alcoholics fit these descriptions. The other 95% are high functioning, tend to be high earners, more educated, are healthier and have more stable relationships than average.   With the estimated 452 million alcoholics that don't fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic, this takes the saying you are not alone to a new level.   We justify or benchmark our drinking according to what an alcoholic looks like. I'm not that bad, I have a job, and money in the bank. We surround ourselves with other drinkers who don't fit the alcoholic stereotype to s

Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.   [03:46] Highlights from Kris:   Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as "What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?"   In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn't let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of "I'm not enough, I've screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way."   If you're listening, and you're there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is.    We don't have to be perfect

Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [00:58] Highlights from Paul:   Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It's a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend.   Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there's also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves.   How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week's episode, it's robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human

Today we have Kathy. She is 31 from Dillworth, MN and has been clean since June 13th, 2016. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:06] Highlights from Paul:   Before we get started, how is your summer going? How is sobriety going? How is your AF clock going? How is your life going? Regardless of your answer to all those questions, Paul reminds us that we are not alone. Recovery Elevator is right here with you every step of the way.   A recent study of baboons revealed that establishing robust social connections in adulthood,  is so beneficial to the animals that it can mitigate the consequences of traumatic experiences during their early years. There's that word again. Connection. In addition, researchers have found that once these connections are made, the baboons report living longer lives.   We have learned, are learning - that building connections helps us depart from alcohol. When we first enter an actual relationship w