Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

Today we have Jen. She is 48 from Boulder, CO and took her last drink on May 12th, 2021. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:48] Highlights from Kris:   Today's question comes from Dale in Virginia. He wants to know "how do I learn to let go of things, and stop trying to control?"   Kris feels that two themes that come up over and over in recovery are surrender and acceptance. He says there are different types of control and while some of it is normal and can be healthy, trying to control things such as other people and how they feel about us is not healthy.   Kris shares his insights about this topic and shares with us: "when I have unrest on the inside, it presents itself on the outside. When I find that inner peace, I can extend it to the world around me".   [11:50]: Kris welcomes Jen:   Jen joins us from Boulder, CO area and recently celebrated two years alcohol free. She is married and they have two kids and a d

Today we have Stephanie. She is 35 from and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022  Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:43] Highlights from Paul:   Paul and Kris are going to be doing a ten-part intro series where we answer questions from listeners.  If you have a question that you'd like us to answer on the air, send them to [email protected].   Paul shares one of his biggest regrets since starting the podcast and also answers the first question from Brady in South Denver. He asked, "can you be addicted to alcohol and not be an alcoholic?"   Paul begins his answer with "The Answer is yes. And no. And a little bit of yes, and little bit of No. Welcome to a world full of paradoxes."   Next week we will hear Kris answer the next question: "How do I learn to let go of things and stop trying to control?".   [09:23]: Paul introduces Stephanie:   Stephanie is 35 and she is from Connecticut, currently living

Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17th, 2008. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.          [02:24] Highlights from Paul:   Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves.   Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate's book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease.   Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder.   Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don't let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you're doomed

Today we have Cindy. She is 54 from Kure Beach, NC and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.     [03:23] Highlights from Paul:   After recently watching a social media video featuring a sober influencer dancing, Paul decided to challenge this individual to a breakdancing battle. Meanwhile another sober influencer viewing this video stated that watching this video made him want to drink.   Let's zoom out for a second.   The Tik Tok user, with millions of followers, said that watching videos of this person dancing - made them want to drink. To summarize that in two words it would be: Stop Dancing. Then we have Paul who challenges this person to a sober break dance battle. We can summarize this statement in two words: Keep dancing.   So, listeners, keep on dancing, and never stop. If you don't know your metaphorical or literal dance steps, stick around. The knowledge will return. If someone t

Today we have Chad. He is 51 from Southern Indiana and took his last drink on March 25th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.   Follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram! We're starting to put more video content on the platform so check it out.   [02:47] Highlights from Paul:   Something heard often while interviewing guests is "you don't know what it's like to grow up in Wisconsin, Texas, in Las Vegas, in Trenton, New Jersey, or you don't know how much we drink in…" fill in the blank. So yes, it is ubiquitous, but there is a front runner.   Check out the full list and see where your state ranks: Alcohol Consumption by State   In 2012 British researcher Dr. David Nutt was tasked by the government to put harm scores on 20 of the world's most harmful drug. Alcohol came in at #1 beating out crack, heroin, meth and cocaine.   Paul shares some stats about the costs of alcohol use disorder in Montana. You can see stats for all o

Today we have Kelly, she is 46 from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on June 18th, 2023.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:57] Highlights from Paul:   When saying the word "alcoholic", these images, and thoughts commonly come to mind:   Living under a Bridge. Brown paper bag. Homeless. Hopeless. Unemployed.   Some of this is accurate but studies show only 5% of alcoholics fit these descriptions. The other 95% are high functioning, tend to be high earners, more educated, are healthier and have more stable relationships than average.   With the estimated 452 million alcoholics that don't fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic, this takes the saying you are not alone to a new level.   We justify or benchmark our drinking according to what an alcoholic looks like. I'm not that bad, I have a job, and money in the bank. We surround ourselves with other drinkers who don't fit the alcoholic stereotype to s

Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.   [03:46] Highlights from Kris:   Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as "What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?"   In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn't let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of "I'm not enough, I've screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way."   If you're listening, and you're there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is.    We don't have to be perfect

Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [00:58] Highlights from Paul:   Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It's a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend.   Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there's also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves.   How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week's episode, it's robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human

Today we have Kathy. She is 31 from Dillworth, MN and has been clean since June 13th, 2016. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:06] Highlights from Paul:   Before we get started, how is your summer going? How is sobriety going? How is your AF clock going? How is your life going? Regardless of your answer to all those questions, Paul reminds us that we are not alone. Recovery Elevator is right here with you every step of the way.   A recent study of baboons revealed that establishing robust social connections in adulthood,  is so beneficial to the animals that it can mitigate the consequences of traumatic experiences during their early years. There's that word again. Connection. In addition, researchers have found that once these connections are made, the baboons report living longer lives.   We have learned, are learning - that building connections helps us depart from alcohol. When we first enter an actual relationship w

Today we have Liz, she's 38 from LaVale, MD and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:22] Highlights from Paul:   This is not a religious podcast. Paul feels that religion and spirituality are not two sides of the same coin.   When we drink alcohol, spiritually, our electrical current to the universe is severed. In fact, in many cultures, the name alcohol literally means, soul sucking spirit. Then mentally, the chemical alcohol turns our brains into tepid soup. After that, we have the physical component - pancreatitis and liver failure come to mind.   What is spirituality? What is a spiritual practice? We are connecting with the self. We are connecting within. You become more ocean and less wave. In short, spirituality is connection with the self, which then leads to a connection with nature, the universe, a higher power, and some may call it God. Why do we drink? Why did we dri

Today we've got a panel of sober rockstars who have been kicking ass and taking names in this field for a while now. You're going to love it.     [02:33] Highlights from Paul:   We are full of expectations. Both for ourselves and other people. Top of that list is we expect happiness in a world where nothing is guaranteed. We have been conditioned throughout our life that any discomfort represents failure, and a certain product, drink or pill will end the suffering.   How do we let expectations go? It's impossible. All you can do is become aware you are expecting something different for yourself or other people.   Another reason why expectations are dangerous is it throws gratitude right out of the window. We also expect the earth to keep providing the natural resources needed for our survival, which are never guaranteed. We definitely need to approach sunshine, fresh drinking water, clean air, and shelter from a stance of gratitude opposed to expecting them to be delivered to us because we deserve the

Today we have Mark who is 45 from Connecticut and took his last drank on January 15, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job!    [01:55] Highlights from Paul:   It is impossible to avoid conflict in a human life. All attempts to avoid it,  will only result in more conflict. It built into the human experience. After all, we are reconciling the Yin to our Yang on a daily basis. Somedays the dark side says take a seat, and the next day, we welcome the light.   Addictions take hold when is there is intense inner conflict. When parts of our personalities are out of balance. Or when parts of us are screaming for attention because we are in pain. In addition, this inner imbalance is a representation that the whole of society is out of balance causing many of us to question "what the hell is going on?". Your individual unrest is not separate from the whole.   And how

Today we have Lacey. She's 34 from Illinois and has been sober since May 15, 2020. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [02:16] Highlights from Kris:   We feel it is important to use these first few episodes of Season Five to set a foundation for the upcoming year. Kris shares the RE mission statement and talks about what each of the six key themes means to him.   To recap, our mission statement: we offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people.   Over and over and over again, you're going to hear us, and our guests, talk about the importance of connection. It's not because it's the only thing we know how to talk about; but simply because it's THAT IMPORTANT.   Recovery Elevator's Six Themes:   1)    We are inclusive 2)    There is no right or wrong way to do this 3)    Connection 4)    Don't just quit drinking 5)    We need to remain open 6)    We must

Today we have Alex, he is 35, from Lincoln, NE and took his last drink on January 20, 2023 Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [03:35] Highlights from Paul:   Welcome to Season 5!  Episode 1 of this podcast dropped on February 25th, 2015. Paul recalls the date and how he felt.  He was worried he was going to crash and burn.  But 10,000,000 downloads later, he still hasn't had a drink and the podcast is still going.   Paul discusses the plan for Season 5, what RE's concepts and values are, the podcast schedule and more.   Mission Statement of Recovery Elevator is as follows:   "We offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people!"   Six themes Paul and Kris will be focusing on this season:   1)    Recovery Elevator is inclusive 2)    There is no right or wrong way to do this 3)    Connection 4)    Don't just quit drinking 5)    We cannot fight an addict

Today we have Gary, he is 44, from Toledo, OH and took his last drink on January 30, 2023 Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [01:42] Thoughts from Paul:   Today we are going to cover one of Paul's favorite tools and practice.  But before we cover it, he asks us who is our go to person that we look to when life starts to veer into the ditch? Who has already provided guidance or a teaching on what to do in the situation you find yourself in?   For Paul, it is Eckhart Tolle. His books The Power of Now and A New Earth were recommended to him at just the right time.   The tool and concept Paul wants to cover is a line he discovered in A New Earth that says, "don't lose yourself in it". This refers to the thinking mind, or the ego.    Another book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer shares the concept that you are not the thoughts in your mind, but you are the one who experiences them.   The point is don't lose yourself in th

Today we have Daniel, he is 43 from Orange County, he took his last drink on December 31st, 2014. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.  [01:42] Thoughts from Paul:   The discomforts of quitting drinking will make you a stronger person down the road. And not far down the road.    Although humans are hardwired to seek comfort, it's not necessarily good for us. Many anthropologists have speculated that we were happier thousands of years ago. Our needs were simpler and easier to satisfy. We were naturally mindful, living in the moment. In addition, our ancestors usually found themselves in tight communities of around 150 people, where everyone shared the burden of survival. There was a deeper sense of belonging.   The rates of mental health, addiction, inflammations, cancers, are sky rocketing, and the author of the book says the reason for this is because we are living progressively sheltered, sterile, temperature controlled, over-fe

Today we have Julie, she is 49, from Grand Junction, CO and took her last drink on February 6th, 2022. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.      [02:05] Thoughts from Paul:   For most of the 20th century and well into the 2000's, there was a pushed narrative that said a daily drink or two is good for you.  Although there was a time that fermented drinks were safer than consuming the local water due to disease, it's safe to say we are well past those days from the dark ages.  Despite that, the concept that alcohol is good for you is still in popular circulation, but a new narrative is coming out.   An article from Health Day released this year is titled Drinking Alcohol Brings No Health Benefits, Study Finds   Huberman Lab podcast:  What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health   You're giving up alcohol, which turns out is NOT good for you anyways, for a life that contains the possibilities of nearly everything. Sobriet

Today we have Katy, she is 40, from Olympia, WA and took her last drink on February 12th, 2023. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.     [02:26] Thoughts from Paul:   One of the best parts of doing the Recovery Elevator podcast is seeing the transformations people make.  Many of the travelers on this year's Costa Rica trip also traveled last year. With every single repeat traveler, Paul could see the growth almost immediately. There are many different reasons for the transformations, but it is always visible in the smile.   Paul wants to make a correction from a previous episode where he said that Goat Yoga was a horrible idea. Incorporating animals in our healing can be a great thing. One reason for this is the nervous systems of animals are much more intact, and with entrainment theory in biology, our nervous systems can heal while being around animals. Also, goats are hilarious. They are all about having fun and if you come near

Today we have Joss, she's 34 from the Bay Area and took her last drink on December 21st, 2022.   Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.    [02:21] Thoughts from Kris:   Spring has finally arrived in North Dakota!   With the changing seasons, it's not uncommon to experience some different emotions surrounding our recovery. More outdoor social activities and parties can bring some unique challenges.   We sometimes worry what others might think about us and our choice not to drink. The phrasing "I care what people think of me" makes me feel a bit middle-schoolish, but humans long for connection and community. We are not really fearing the event so much as fearing that we don't belong. Creating accountability with people we trust can help us navigate these times, and sometimes just passing on the event may be what we need to do for the time being.   Stay tuned for more tips gathered from our members at Café RE after the interview!

Today we have Dale, he is 55, from Roanoke, VA and he has been alcohol free since March 23, 2019   [02:34] Paul's thoughts:   Paul knows now that there is a connection between his drinking and his anxiety but while actively drinking, he could not. We are told that alcohol relaxes us – which it does by shutting down important parts of our brain.   According to Dr. Sheila Shilati,"Alcohol ultimately replaces those important chemicals like dopamine and serotonin in the brain, which mitigate anxiety, therefore, in episodes where you are not drinking, then your brain is searching for those all-important 'feel-good' connections, which become diminished because the supply has been mitigated,"   We hear a lot about "self-medicating" in recovery. Which isn't a bad thing, but when we rely too much on this strategy, it stops working. This becomes an even bigger problem because we don't realize it so we just drink more and now our coping strategy is becoming the reason we can't cope.   Paul shares in episode 417