Delight Your Marriage

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually. I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural" sex drive has to prevent you either! Listen in to find out the top 3 things you need to know if you have a LOW sex drive. And how to turn that around. How I did and do. But what if HE is the one with the low sex drive? Ouch! So sorry, I know that's so hard! There are several important questions you need to be asking. I help you to sort through what could be the real source of the issues and how to overcome them. Are you contributing to the issue or COULD be contributing to live the solution? -- What’s a Clarity Call: You ca

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )   Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!   -- If you're a husband... I'm about to pilot a brand new program:   Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!   I have SO many men--may be like yourself--whose wives wouldn’t dream of hearing my work or considering changing their behavior or even understanding those needs.    By Gods grace, I understand men AND women and this would be the program to bridge the gap for MEN to understand their wives and motivate her to WANT sex rather than REPEL her FROM it (as unfortunately, most of them are :( ).     It would be an all-male group coaching with me. This would allow men to share their situations and I would advise on the female perspective and give teachings (all t

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings. Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING. Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast with his friends, ate dinner and drank wine (sometimes he was even accused of being a drunkard!) and little children ran to him. He must have been pretty enjoyable to be around if even little children want to run up to the revered Rabbi.   If you are ALWAYS thinking that "God wants me to be productive. I need to do this and that..." then I challenge you to sit back, listen to Him, and just take delight in His presence.   We can also apply this to our sex lives. What if sex was fun and filled you up? And it's not just about sex

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.   Outside of the bedroom: We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.   If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the culture of your marriage. But it’ll get easier the more you do it!   When words are on purpose, intentional, and aligned with what God wants your husband to hear, then it’s easy to truly become ONE FLESH. Generous lovemaking becomes more natural to both of you.   Now onto the SEXY STUFF: What CAN you say in sex? Is God okay with you saying seductive phrases to your husband? Could God even WANT you both to use your words to turn each other on? What is going to encourage the bond between you and your husband? If he's aroused and y

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”. I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share. AND it depends on what level of the Marriage Health Spectrum your marriage is to determine what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT share. If your marriage is awful right now, you shouldn't SHARE what someone who has an awesome marriage can share. You have to be strategic with what you do and do not share. SO that it can BECOME an awesome marriage.   Find out... Where your marriage is on the Marriage Health Spectrum Considering that, does he--your husband--deserve “your heart”? How can you still be the faithful, generous wife AND guard your heart? HOW to respond to

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children. What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really. Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves. Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one. Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it! Your marriage shows them what character means. Your sex life is foundational to all of this... Your husband can be an incredible dad He can be focused on his family not the temptations of the world Other things covered: How sex satiety and desire for sex occurs in opposite ways for women and men Why your children need to be well-liked by adults (and that's your job)  World-renowned psychologist mentioned: Jordan B. Peterson When you're a whole woman, totally emotionally held and loved in your marriage you have a far greater capacity to be a present,

What does money have to do with your marriage? Finances are often touted as the biggest reason for divorce... but get this: when you have an awesome sex life studies estimate that it's equivalent to having an additional $100k per year! So... NO financial issues... But there's more, the BIGGEST financial DISASTER that can ever befall someone is divorce. SO an awesome marriage and sex life can either pay big $$$ or cost you a ton of money!   With all that said, how well are you prioritizing life so that your marriage is protected and your finances support it? WISELY.   The Bible is very specific: wisdom is more valuable than silver and gold... "nothing your heart desires can compare with her". So, how high are you prioritizing wisdom to ensure you have an awesome marriage? The cool thing is that Solomon first asked for wisdom and then God also gave him riches! So if you invest your finances into wisdom the rewards may also be material wealth! I talk about the way to prioritize your life that is accorded with th

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as Dirty Wrong Ungodly Scary He was sinning for wanting it Too much work I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do I don't have time I don't have energy What's in it for me? He's way too interested in sex And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got angrier. Well God has changed my heart on this. I have discovered that God made my husband's member, and I am his wife. It is my privilege to be a part of intimacy with him. I am his only means of receiving this vital fulfillment righteously. I believe this podcast will bring you closer to God. If you're anything like I was, I wish I had known this even before I got married. If I could only understand what sex meant to him. If I could only understand God's purposes for it. I pray this would be something husbands can give to their wives (when

Are you having the WRONG type of sex? Why your wife doesn't LOVE intimacy Why sex feels carnal Why sex feels like it's just for HIM Why sex isn't fulfilling (EVEN if you orgasm) I argue that there is a very legitimate reason... You guys haven't made feminine sex....ever Have you ever even been exposed to what feminine sex is? Let me give you a description and then the tools on how to get started! Go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/type for further explanation and a step-by-step guide to feminine sex    Resources referenced:  Miss Representation documentary If you want to know more about our sexualized culture and how men have defined those you can check this own My very serious warning is there's a ton of very negative visuals--sexually-explicit music videos, movies with very provocative clothing... but they have really educational good content What I would suggest is turning it on your phone and then turning your phone over so you can hear the content without being exposed to the crude and sinful v

So... my husband listens to every podcast before I post them. He often gives me notes on what I need to take out or change. I have been podcasting since Feb 2015 (!!) and by God's grace have been awarded one of the Top 30 Relationship podcasts on the web!! My husband ended up listening and having an entire page FULL of notes. POSITIVE notes! (One negative note--not that it was wrong but that it might be a bit too explicit. I countered "I just don't want wives to be confused with what I'm really talking about". He said well, it's ABSOLUTELY true..." so, I left it it in!) In my almost 200 episodes (!!) my husbands said this is one of the best--maybe THE BEST.    So! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and get ready for some (maybe uncomfortable) truth bombs!   Here is the site I mention where I have collated a sampling of SOME of the emails I get from husbands WISHING (and some even are crying) because they want so badly for their wives to work with me! Seriously...read it... delightyourmarriage.com/hu

How could suffering ever be a gift? Why would focusing on suffering be a wise thing? A lot of times the women I coach don't take the time to look at the pain and suffering they're experiencing. But when they do that, they are distracting themselves away from its lessons--the wisdom God wants to teach us through it. And even through our AWARENESS of it. On this episode, I talk about the 13 Gifts of Sufferings and I talk specifically about some of my own sufferings that have given me great gifts and it was because I was aware of them in the moments that God used it profoundly in my life.   Jump on a call with me personally to unearth what you're going through and use the suffering to provoke action! Check to see if I have some time on my calendar at www.dym.as.me It's a 40min call for free with me directly! --- Testimonial: of a husband of 20+ years: I just wanted to say a few things, like...Thank you! Thank you for the time you spent with her, and for your generosity, it is much appreciated. I don't know what

Can things really change? "It's been 5, 10, 25 years, how could this ever be different?" Suffering in marriage makes your whole life suffer---kids, job, ministry, peace, walking in the fruits of the spirit, sexual fulfillment, chastity in thoughts, satisfaction in marriage, covetous thoughts of other marriages, sin in many places, not starting the ministries God has called you to and would thus not touch the many people God wants you too!!   It's 2019, packed in this message is lots of hope, and practical steps to make changes in you that will greatly impact your marriage!   Here is a testimonial I just received by a wife who has been married 10+ years: "Before working with Belah, my marriage had been to the brink of divorce and separation. My husband and I had continual anger and resentment toward one another. I knew the importance of sex to a man, and felt pressure to be 'enough'. But I felt like I never was.    I reached out to Belah, for her to help me be who he needed. Belah listened to my heart, and saw

WHAT SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF 2019? I used to try to cram all of my goals into the beginning of the year. And I would scramble for a few weeks potentially months—at best and then drop all of them by April.   I’ve learned something very valuable that I wanted to share today. I want to talk to you about exactly how I set my priorities throughout every year. It frees me up to focus, relax and listen to God’s voice.   This year I’m really excited and there’s a lot of really good things! And I want that for you as well. If you want to move your marriage to a place of peace and passion and joy and purpose, I would love to jump on a FREE breakthrough call where you can discover solutions immediately.   Sign up here: https://dym.as.me/ God bless you in 2019!   (If you’re not in my FREE private Facebook group where we discuss intimacy and marriage and purpose in life and I walk with God join here!… Wives only! :-) ) www.facebook.com/groups/delightym/

You might think your marriage is too far gone. There is too much strife, emotional and mental abuse, painful memories, WAY too much baggage to ever recover.  I encourage you to review this entire series and take a journey with me on this episode. Maybe we've been looking at this whole marriage thing all wrong. And we've been looking at what it means to be man and woman wrong too? What is the masculine nature? What is the feminine nature? Can a man have both, can a woman have both?  Is this a sacrilegious framework? Well, I think there is a ton of biblical precedence for thinking of men and women as possessing both masculine and feminine natures and both are good, should be respected and honored. I'm going to share that here.  I want to talk about how this shows up in my own marriage specifically and how it can radically change yours! -- Jump on a 40min clarity call with me so we can sort this stuff out. What is going on in your marriage and how can we get to the bottom of it to truly, deeply transform the liv

1 in 4 women this year will be sexually abused. You may never know who... your sister, best friend, daughter, mother, wife... You may have been the victim. I'm so sorry for your pain and what you have been through. You are not alone and you do not need to feel shame any longer.  Today's podcast is to help all women process the pain of abuse. I think it affects all of us whether we ourselves have experienced it or not, we live in a culture where that is the norm... When was the last news show you were able to get through without hearing at least one incident of violence against a woman? 1 in 5 searches on the internet are for pornography and 90% of pornography is violent towards women. Most women who have been abused are not believed even if they have the courage to speak out--so most stay silent.   Here's what I cover: Why are women abused?  Why the shaming question she is always asking herself: "why didn't I know better?" or "she was asking for it" isn't her fault based on her God-given nature My experien

Here's what is covered in today's episode There are a ton of "submit" verses in the Bible.  They were used to abuse me in my first marriage. I think these also have made men feel that they had the right to abuse & justify their actions with the misuse of these scriptures. But what people don't realize is they are reading the Bible (and even translations of the Bible) through a patriarchial lense. Don't believe me? What does "help-meet" mean? This word which Eve is supposed to be to Adam. Well, it's not the supporting, secondary, servant role you may have always thought. The original word in Hebrew is "ezer kenegedo". Ezer is used 21x in the Old Testament When speaking of Eve 2x in Genesis, it's translated as "help"  Three times it is used to describe a powerful nation that comes to save the nation of Israel from their enemies The other 16x it's used to describe God as a military warrior, the powerful savior, giving  desperate salvation from foes Is that how you see women? Is that how you see yourse

This one honestly wasn’t that easy to think through or record.  Here’s what I cover: how I hold my opinions about women in the church and I think we all should how women showed up in the Bible I think Christian men should be on the forefront of the movement to end sexual abuse against women (Jesus would have been) women in ministry leadership the things I’m still processing around this your sexual abuse story should be believed, heard, processed, given space and the same goes for church abuse (of any kind) the body of Christ needs women in leadership because they are lacking without us

 When I work with women, I think the biggest problem is they don’t have boundaries.  And for them to slowly strategically come out of abusive relationships and cause their marriage to thrive instead of the abusive, they have to have boundaries. But it might not look the way you think it will look.   I grew up without boundaries myself. And So I never learned that I was responsible for me: my feelings, my thoughts, my choices, my property, my own things, my privacy... So naturally when I got married, I didn’t think I owned these things either.  And I didn’t think my husband did either.  Especially hearing the “two will become one flesh”, to me that meant that I owned him and he owns me. So  we had to be the same. However that doesn’t work.  How do you create boundaries in your marriage? How do you make sure those boundaries are respected? And should we always be “honest” with our husbands? I don’t think so necessarily.    I look forward to our conversation! — DYM is sponsored by my new business Couragess: Chri

(So sorry, my computer broke so I wasn't able to edit and this is late, but I think the content is all there!) -- I was abused and I was completely unaware at the time. Because he was spiritually gifted I trusted him. But he wasn’t exhibiting the fruits of the spirit.  If you’re being abused, it’s so hard to see what’s really going on in your marriage because something that’s inherent in abuse is blinders. Today, I talk about my own experience with abuse in my first marriage, and what it took to get the blinders off for me.  And then not only removing your blinders, but then what is your next step after becoming clear on what’s really going on in your marriage. And then to make wise action towards what I believe can completely transform him.  This is the beginning of a series of DYM shows on abuse. There’s many different levels, categories and types of abuse towards women in many aspects of life. I want to help a woman who is currently in an abusive situation to think through the really difficult areas to