Delight Your Marriage

The Deep Theology of Sexual Unity (With Some Fun!): Interview with Randy and Rozanne Frazee You're not just trying to survive another week. You're not just trying to get the kids fed, keep the peace, and hold your marriage together with duct tape and prayers. You're living inside a bigger story—whether you realize it or not. When you start seeing your marriage through God's storyline instead of just your stress and circumstances, something shifts. Not overnight. Not magically. But deeply. Steadily. For real. And that's exactly what Randy and Rozanne Frazee unpacked in today's episode. In this episode, you're getting a conversation that is both wildly profound and surprisingly fun. Because yes—you can talk about theology, the Trinity, the image of God, and sexual unity… and still laugh. And that's exactly what happens when you sit down with Randy and Rozanne. They've spent decades helping believers understand the Bible not as scattered verses—but as one cohesive story of God's love and pursuit. Randy has been

Have Compassion on Your Husband's Desire This is a tender topic. And for some of you, even reading this headline might make your chest tighten. Because desire can feel complicated. Painful. Loaded. Or honestly… just exhausting. And yet, this conversation matters—not to shame you, not to pressure you, but to invite you into compassion. Not obligation. Not fear. Not duty-driven compliance. Compassion rooted in God's design for marriage. The Enemy Thrives on Distraction One of the enemy's most effective strategies in marriage is not always obvious sin. It's distraction. Distance. Avoidance. Silence. When sexual intimacy is broken in a marriage—when it's infrequent, half-hearted, or consistently avoided—it quietly becomes a distraction for both spouses. Especially your husband. Not because he's weak. Not because he's demanding. But because sexual intimacy is not a small issue in his life—it is deeply connected to how God designed him. When that connection is missing, it costs him far more than you may realize. Yo

Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations Gentlemen, you have likely heard that you are meant to be the leader of your home. You've likely heard it from the pulpit, maybe from your own family. We know there's been some confusion around that in culture, asking men to take a back seat or not be as assertive and lead–even though it is their God-given design. But we fully believe that it is the biblical design for men and that it is good for men to take up their role. And you likely have a deep sense that this is how it's meant to be as well. But what happens when the people you are meant to lead... aren't following? Your family. Particularly, your wife. What if you are doing all the right things–trying to make good decisions for your family, trying to make sure they are safe, healthy, and provided for, trying to think of the future and what is going to be needed...and your wife is just disregarding it all. In fact, she's trying to take the reins and lead herself. Maybe it even feels like she's trying to make

It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today.  Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope. What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force! And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children. Everything looked perfect. But it wasn't the full picture. "On Paper, We Had Everything… But We Were Just Roommates" The full picture was that Charles was in pain.  His marriage was suffering. He felt like they had become roommates and the intimacy and connection wasn't there. His daughter, after watching her parents fight yet again, brought up to him that "all you and mom do is fight". She didn't feel safe and their relations

516-A Pastor with a "Prostitute" Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry's Story There's a quiet frustration many good men carry. You've tried to talk. You've tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You've even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn't seem to listen. Doesn't engage. Doesn't change. If that's you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently shared that after nearly three decades of marriage and years of faithful ministry, he found himself in a place he never expected. Not because his marriage had been bad. But because it was changing—and he wasn't prepared. His wife's body was changing. Their season of life was shifting. Transitions piled up. And slowly, something in him hardened. He was becoming "grouchy" and "crusty". He said it plainly: "I just didn't like how I was becoming… and I didn

515-New Years Resolutions with Hope Happy New Year! If you're reading this a couple days into 2026—welcome. And if you're reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies. Because God is still on the throne. He is still a good Father. And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart—especially in the middle of real life… including the hard parts. Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally) If you've been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I'm a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to the most. I want to share something that we do in coaching calls. It can honestly look silly… but it works. We put our hands over our heads like a hat and we say: "Put your growth mindset on." Why?  Because the posture matters. A growth mindset says: "God can change me." "I'm not finished yet." "This isn't the end of my story." "My marriage isn't stuck forever." A fixed mindset says: "This is just how I am." "Take it or l

514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) There is a kind of marriage pain that does not look dramatic.It's not an outward struggle.Just a quiet ache.A marriage that functions but does not feel alive. Laura lived in that space for decades. From the outside, her life looked good. Forty years of marriage. Seven children. A faithful husband. A stable home. A shared faith. Everything a good Christian marriage is supposed to be. And yet, beneath the surface, something was missing. Emotional Safety.Real connection.Being fully seen. For a long time, she told herself she had nothing to complain about. Her husband was faithful. He wasn't an alcoholic. He never abused her. He provided well for his family. But inside, Laura carried a question she barely allowed herself to ask: "Is this really all there is?" The Hidden Cycle That Brought Broken Trust Even with her husband's steadiness and Laura's determination to be grateful, there was a painful habit that entered thei

Christmas can feel magical.It can also feel exhausting. If you're a parent who secretly feels pressure rising as the holidays approach—the expectations, the mess, the emotions, the memories—you're not alone. And sometimes, the clearest wisdom doesn't come from another parenting book or productivity hack. Sometimes it comes from children. I sat down with my two sons for a conversation about Christmas. I expected sweetness and laughter (and we definitely had that). But what I didn't expect was how profoundly wise their reflections would be—for moms and dads who want to keep Christ and joy at the center, even when emotions run high. May this conversation be a gentle reminder for all of us about what truly matters this season. The Most Important Thing During the Holiday Season When I asked my boys what makes Christmas special, their answers were simple: Being with family Giving and receiving gifts And most importantly—Jesus Isn't it interesting how easy it is for adults to know that truth, but still lose sight

What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead Have you ever wished you could just…get inside your wife's heart for a moment? Not to manipulate, but to genuinely understand her. To love her in a way that makes her feel safe and wanted—not pressured or confused. My husband Darrow and I sat down to talk through something men rarely get honest insight about: Her biggest turn-offs. And not because we want to shame or scold—but because clarity brings freedom. When you finally understand what shuts her down, you also discover what opens her heart. So take a deep breath.You're not in trouble.You're learning—and that already makes you a good man. Let's walk through these turn-offs together, with God's kindness leading us all the way. 1. When Affection Feels Like a Transaction One of the most common complaints I hear from wives is this: "Every time he does something sweet, it feels like he's trying to get sex." A back rub, a coffee, a hand on her waist, a date night—beautiful gestures—become tainted when she

Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story Patty had a life most people would admire. Forty-five years of marriage. Four children. Seven grandkids. Retirement. A kind, steady husband. From the outside, it looked like she had it all. But inside? Patty was scared. Not because she didn't love her husband. They laughed together, they got along. But underneath the "good," there was a quiet ache. A deep disconnection she didn't know how to fix. And as retirement began and the rest of life slowed down, and the thought of spending more time with her husband began to feel like a weight in her chest, she realized... she couldn't keep going like this. Love Your Husband, Even When You Don't Like Him Every few months, things would blow up. Patty and Greg would hit a wall and neither one really understood why. To make it worse, Patty carried deep embarrassment that she hadn't "figured out" marriage after four and a half decades. She'd tried to talk to friends. They were in same boat as her. She'd trie

Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? Physical intimacy can be one of the most painful topics in a woman's life. Maybe you've felt shame for years. Maybe your husband brings it up constantly, and all you want to do is shrink away. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if something is just wrong with you. If that's where you are, I want you to know—I've been there. I've felt the fear. I've felt the pressure. I've carried the shame. And I want to walk with you through what I've learned on the other side: There is healing. There is hope. And yes, there is joy. The Pain Is Real—But So Is God's Compassion You may have asked yourself: Why did God make me this way? Why don't I want they way my husband does? Why does sex feel more like pressure than connection? God doesn't ignore your questions. He weeps with you. Just like Jesus wept for Mary and Martha, knowing full well He was about to raise Lazarus—He still entered into their grief. He enters yours too. And even if this has felt like a battleground, it does

Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn't forever. And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn't just earthly happiness… but eternal impact? Let's shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus. Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity. A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven If marriage is your god, you'll do it your way. You'll chase validation, push for change, demand your rights, and stew in resentment when your spouse doesn't meet your expectations. But if God is your God, and marriage is your assignment, you'll do it His way. You'll put your spouse before your ministry, before your work, before the kids. You'll think about loving them the way they receive love. You care about peace, patience, kindness, and self-control in your marriage. You value r

How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey's Story Marriage is holy work. Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!" I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you'll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love. This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand gestures or big sweeping shifts that changed his marriage, but small, daily, consistent habits that brought it God's love, peace, and patience into his marriage. Changing Your Priorities: When Hard Work is Leading to Disconnect Harvey and his wife have been married nearly 37 years. Together, they raised four kids and built a life on their dairy farm. For decades, he worked two full-time jobs—teaching high school by day and farming by

"Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  That's the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here's a hard truth I've learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why "Family First" Doesn't Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, "You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first." His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.  When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home. That's not stability. That's shifting sand. We see the effects of this all around us. Divorce rates hover around 50%. Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.  Most people are doing their best, but without a bib

It doesn’t start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you’ve been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that’s where you find yourself today (or even if you’ve seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You’re not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You’re human. And this conversation is meant to bring you hope, not shame. In my conversation with Gary Thomas today—pastor and bestselling author of Sacred Marriage—he shared that when a group of wives was asked "How many times do you think a married man has had extramarital feelings for someone?", they all responded with zero. When he asked the same question to a group of husbands, they all said somewhere from 4 to 6. What we are saying is that attraction

How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren’t on the brink of divorce. They aren’t fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That’s exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. “We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More” Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, “We were not in conflict with each other. We didn’t have any major issues that we were dealing with from our past. You know, no unfaithfulness, nothing like that.” Still, something inside her longed for more. She said to us, “I think the thing that drove me into it was knowing that our marriage was good, but understanding or having this feeling that it could be better.” She remembered a pastor that had mentioned Delight Your Marriage to her and from there, took the leap of faith to schedule

When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You’d light up at his stories. You’d say, “You’re amazing!” and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That’s what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes felt that way to him—like he’d walked off the football field to a stadium full of boos. Ann was stunned. She thought she was helping him. But in that moment, she realized how her words had chipped away at his confidence and joy. I was so honored to talk with Dave and Ann Wilson—pastors, marriage speakers, authors of Vertical Marriage, and co-hosts of FamilyLife Today. For more than 30 years, they’ve led thousands of couples toward hope

How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn’t break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God’s kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the first door to healing. What a Farmer Learned About Love in Marriage As a man who worked with horses and cattle his whole life, Jake knew how to communicate safety and calm with animals. Yet God showed him—through the story of David, Bathsheba, and Nathan's rebuke—that he wasn’t doing the same for his wife. The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other

Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That’s why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated mo

When I hit “record” on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container.  I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others.  I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need. Now—500 episodes later—we’ve seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world.  And yet, this milestone isn’t just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it’s about what He wants to do next, through all of us. Here are three lessons from this episode I believe will bless you right now: 1) Do not be overcome by evil The world’s problems can feel overwhelming, but your greatest impact is in your sphere of influence—your heart, your habits, your marriage. That’s where revival begins. And it does spread! 2) Do courage enough and it becomes confidence. At first, obedience to God feels risky and scary. But when you keep stepping forward w