Delight Your Marriage

When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You’d light up at his stories. You’d say, “You’re amazing!” and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That’s what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes felt that way to him—like he’d walked off the football field to a stadium full of boos. Ann was stunned. She thought she was helping him. But in that moment, she realized how her words had chipped away at his confidence and joy. I was so honored to talk with Dave and Ann Wilson—pastors, marriage speakers, authors of Vertical Marriage, and co-hosts of FamilyLife Today. For more than 30 years, they’ve led thousands of couples toward hope

How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn’t break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God’s kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the first door to healing. What a Farmer Learned About Love in Marriage As a man who worked with horses and cattle his whole life, Jake knew how to communicate safety and calm with animals. Yet God showed him—through the story of David, Bathsheba, and Nathan's rebuke—that he wasn’t doing the same for his wife. The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other

Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That’s why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated mo

When I hit “record” on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container.  I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others.  I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need. Now—500 episodes later—we’ve seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world.  And yet, this milestone isn’t just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it’s about what He wants to do next, through all of us. Here are three lessons from this episode I believe will bless you right now: 1) Do not be overcome by evil The world’s problems can feel overwhelming, but your greatest impact is in your sphere of influence—your heart, your habits, your marriage. That’s where revival begins. And it does spread! 2) Do courage enough and it becomes confidence. At first, obedience to God feels risky and scary. But when you keep stepping forward w

499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy I was confused. There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage… only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things. Where did he get all this “inspiration” anyway? Oh, I knew: sinful places. So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt). What’s your story? If it’s even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex. I wasn’t viewing sex from a biblical standpoint. I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.) I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God’s will. Maybe you’ve gone through something profoundly tra

Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story You love your wife. You love your family. And you’d do anything for them. But if you’re honest… things don’t feel quite the same as they used to. Maybe you’re exhausted from work, the baby, or the endless list of responsibilities. Maybe your evenings with your wife now look more like two roommates collapsed on the couch—silent, tired, and just hoping tomorrow will be better. That’s exactly where Michael found himself. A good man. A loving husband. A dad who adored his toddler son. And yet—he noticed the spark in his marriage was fading. Instead of ignoring it, he made a decision that changed everything. And maybe that’s where you are today. Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations for Lasting Change Michael wasn’t looking for fluff. He wasn’t looking for self-help tricks that sound nice but fall flat. He wanted something biblical. Something that honored God’s design for intimacy. Something practical enough to implement while juggling fatherhood and career

497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith [Re-Release] (Previously Titled: Changing OURSELVES in Light of Eternity) Hello, listeners! As we continue to work on our recording our very first in-person trainings, we hope you will enjoy some of the re-releases from the past few years of the Delight Your Marriage podcast (It has certainly been sweet to us to re-listen and share some of our favorites with you!) For this week, we hope you will enjoy a little bit of Christmas in the summertime as we talk about living life in light of eternity. Christmas is certainly a wonderful time to remember who Jesus is and why he is worthy of our lives, but we think a balmy day in August is a good time to remember that also. Enjoy this re-release and we look forward to sharing some other favorite episodes with you soon! God bless! Marriage as Your First Assignment Before God When we think about standing before Jesus one day, many of us imagine wanting to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” But h

Abiding in God’s Love by Living a Life of Surrender (Formerly Titled: Real Love Takes Sacrifice) We know the Bible says “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and that He loved us first. But if we’re honest, many of us spend more time wondering, “Does God really love me?” than asking the deeper, more revealing question: “Do I truly love Him?” That’s the heart of today’s message. God’s love for you is unshakable, unchanging, and eternal. The real question is whether your love for Him is genuine—and if it’s showing up in your life the way true love always does: through sacrifice. When You Don’t Feel God’s Love Maybe you’ve been a Christian for years but can’t remember the last time you felt God’s love. You’ve read the verses. You’ve prayed the prayers. But it’s like you’re in a spiritual drought. The truth? Feelings aren’t the measure of His love. But there’s often a missing link when we feel disconnected from God—and it’s not that He’s holding back. It’s that our love for Him hasn’t moved from words to action. Abiding in

After nearly four decades of marriage, Kim and Russ had done the hard work. They had raised five children, invested in professional counseling, read marriage books, and sought spiritual guidance. And still, something was missing. The breakthrough moments they experienced through the years never seemed to last. They still longed for a deeper connection and the kind of love they had always dreamed of. The Pain of “Almost” Fxixing It Kim felt emotionally unsafe for far too long. Arguments were frequent, and intimacy had become something to endure rather than enjoy. She said, “We spent tens of thousands of dollars on counseling… but nothing stuck.” They had learned communication tools, gone on retreats, and practiced new habits—but it felt like patchwork. They both feared they’d never experience the closeness they longed for. What Made This Marriage Transformation Different When a close friend experienced radical transformation in her marriage through our program, Kim and Russ took notice. Russ joined the men’s p

Don't Waste the Great Gift of Influence (Formerly titled: Don't Waste Your Impact) It’s easy to underestimate just how much weight your words, actions, and attitudes carry—especially in your marriage. But the truth is, your spouse is the person you impact most in this life. And that impact can either build up or break down. It can draw them closer to Jesus—or push them further away. Whether you're aware of it or not, you are influencing every day. The real question is: how are you using that influence? In today’s episode, we’re exploring what Scripture and research say about the power of marriage, how your smallest habits shape your legacy, and why taking your influence seriously could be one of the most important decisions you make—not just for your spouse, but for eternity. Why Your Marriage Holds the Greatest Influence in Your Life Research from the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale confirms it: five of the top ten most stressful life events are marriage-related. Death of a spouse. Divorce. Separation. Reconciliati

Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again: Kay’s Story Marriage is one of God’s most beautiful gifts—and one of His most powerful tools for growth and sanctification. But even after decades of love and commitment, many couples find themselves asking the quiet question: What happened to us? Maybe you're feeling distant from your spouse. Maybe you’re still under the same roof—but it feels like you're living parallel lives. Maybe you’ve stopped hoping things can change. That’s where Kay was after 33 years of marriage. But her story is a powerful reminder: It is possible to fall in love again—and to restore love in a marriage that feels broken. When You Feel Stuck in Your Marriage Kay and her husband had built a wonderful life: children, a family business, retirement, and shared dreams. But beneath it all, their connection was quietly dissolving. Kay shared with us, “We weren’t arguing every day, but there was tension. There was distance. He finally told me, ‘If this is what the next 20 years are going to look like—I d

Forgiveness is Key to Better Relationships: Interview With Brian & Heather Mayer Forgiveness can feel like the most unfair, unnatural thing in the world. When someone has wounded you—especially someone who was supposed to love you—choosing to forgive may feel like letting them off the hook. But Brian and Heather Mayer’s story reminds us: forgiveness isn’t about the other person’s worthiness—it’s about God’s mercy. And it's the path to freedom, not just for them… but for you. Why Christian Marriages Struggle With Forgiveness Heather didn’t realize how deeply unforgiveness had taken root. Even after their marriage began to turn a corner, her heart stayed guarded. She found herself stuck emotionally. The walls she had put up to protect herself were still up. And though they gave the illusion of strength, what they actually offered was isolation. She said, “I didn’t feel like forgiving. I didn’t want to say the words. But I knew the Bible said I had to. So I chose to obey—even without the feelings.” This is w

Exciting news!  We're extending a $500 savings on our coaching programs until this Friday. Due to the wonderful services and support our coaching clients receive and the fact that we have maintained our coaching programs for 4 years though our services, technology, and results have improved, we are having to increase our coaching prices.  But before we do, we'd like to give you a chance to get in at the lowest opportunity it'll ever! This is your chance to transform your marriage with our proven system before prices increase. Sign up for a clarity call at delightym.com/cc and be part of the next transformation story. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your relationship and witness the miracles happening every day. Act now and take the first step towards a thriving marriage! Until THIS Friday 7/14/25 sign up at: delightym.com/cc (Or if you know someone who needs this, send it to them!)

A Fine Marriage, Now an Extraordinary Marriage: Bart's Story Bart is a Christian leader. He’s the head of a childcare agency working with traumatized children and teens. He’s been married for nearly 20 years and has four beautiful kids. And by his own admission? He was tired. Burned out. Irritable. Or, in his words—“crusty.” He wasn’t in crisis. His marriage wasn’t “on the rocks.” But it wasn’t thriving either. And Bart knew something had to change. Christian Leaders Get Tired, Too—But That Doesn’t Mean You Stay There One Saturday morning, Bart’s wife tried to be playful with him—and he snapped. He didn’t mean to. He was just worn out, juggling too many roles, feeling the pressure of leadership, family, and ministry. But his wife’s gentle confrontation was a turning point. She didn’t yell. She didn’t threaten. She just called it what it was. And Bart—rather than shutting down—responded with humility and self-reflection. Not because he had to… But because he wanted to grow. Why “Good Enough” Marriage Isn’t the

Putting God First Will Change Your Marriage If you're anything like me, you’ve found yourself caught in the swirl of responsibilities, relationships, expectations... and distractions. It’s so easy to let the noise of life drown out the voice of God. Even in marriage—especially in marriage—it’s easy to start placing our hope in the wrong thing. And when we do that, even the good things, like marriage, can become shaky ground. But what if the real anchor isn’t your spouse, or your role, or your routine—but your relationship with God? Why Putting God First Can Transform Your Marriage We live in a world of constant input. Notifications, streaming, social media, endless to-dos. And if we’re not intentional, those distractions steal our attention—and with it, our peace, our purpose, and our priorities. I've found that when I step away from it all—when I intentionally remove the distractions—I can finally hear God clearly again. Whether it's walking in nature without my phone or sitting in a quiet space with m

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings — and one of the greatest refining processes — we can experience. But if we're honest, many of us carry regrets when it comes to how we've treated our spouse, how we've handled conflict, or the words we've spoken in frustration. We don't always recognize how often harshness sneaks into our marriage, chipping away at intimacy, connection, and joy. But here's the good news: God's love can heal, restore, and transform even the most regret-filled moments in your relationship. In a recent conversation with author and speaker Rhonda Stoppe, we unpacked the profound truth of living with "no regrets" in marriage — and the practical steps to get there. You Can Break Free From the Regrets Holding You Back Let’s be honest — we’ve all made mistakes in marriage, in parenting, in life. Those regrets? They can paralyze us. Rhonda reminded us that regret is often a weapon the enemy uses to keep us from becoming the women God designed us to be. But here’s the truth — God’s love washes

Wives, Pleasure Is An Important Part of Life (Really!) If you're a wife who feels like physical intimacy just isn’t for you... this post is for you. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past. Maybe sex feels awkward, or painful, or even meaningless. Maybe it seems like something only he wants, and you just go along with it. If any of that resonates, I want you to know: you're not broken. You're not alone. And there is hope. When Sex Feels Disappointing or Painful in Marriage When I first got married, I was so excited. I had saved myself for marriage and imagined physical intimacy would be beautiful and bonding. But what I experienced instead was disappointment. It was physically painful, emotionally awkward, and deeply confusing. I felt ashamed, fat, insecure, and unprepared. My marriage at that time eventually ended in divorce. There was no biblical reason—I just couldn’t take the strife and anxiety anymore. I was devastated. I had followed what I believed was the right path, and yet my marriage still crumbled. And

He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah's Story Rebekah didn’t sign up for marriage coaching. She wasn’t looking for help. In fact, when her husband first discovered us, she politely declined any involvement. He had found the podcast and was quietly listening, learning, and applying. She wasn’t ready. But he didn’t push. He didn’t demand. He just loved her. And that—his sacrificial, consistent, Christlike love—is what eventually opened her heart. When the Husband Leads and Goes First “He died to himself,” Rebekah said, describing her husband Noah’s transformation. “He was willing to love me even if I didn’t love him back.” It didn’t happen overnight. Noah committed to the Men’s Program during Rebekah’s pregnancy, often implementing everything he learned from recordings because he was unable to attend the live Group Coaching Calls due to work. He walked out the truth. And over time, Rebekah noticed. “I felt deeply that he was doing that for me,” she shared. “And that softened my h

How a Strong Identity Defeats Shame: Interview With Pastor Drew Hyun Maybe you're a leader in your church, a high achiever at work, or a dedicated family man—but deep inside, you feel the sting of shame. Maybe it's from mistakes in your past, struggles in your present, or simply the pressure of not living up to what you think you should be. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to carry it anymore. Pastor Drew Hyun—lead pastor of Hope Church NYC and executive director of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship—shares how God’s love offers a radical solution. Not just theologically, but practically. In this powerful teaching, originally given to our men's community, Drew walks us through how to eradicate shame through our identity in Christ. These truths brought tears to the eyes of many men in our program—and it’s easy to see why. Because when you truly grasp how deeply you’re loved by God, everything changes. The Root of Shame: Why Our Identity Feels So Fragile Pastor Drew’s upbringing was marked by harsh parenting,

Strength from Suffering Let me start with this: the enemy wants you to believe that when hard things happen, you're done for. You’re weaker. You’re broken. That you can’t be used by God anymore. But that’s a lie. The truth is—God uses the hard things. He doesn’t waste our pain. In fact, Scripture tells us over and over again that it’s through trials that our faith, character, and hope are built.   The God Who Sees You and Knows You Psalm 139 is one of my favorite passages because it’s such a clear reminder: God knows everything about you. He knows your name. He knows what you’re up against. He even knows the number of hairs on your head. Not only is God all-knowing and omnipresent—but He is with you in your heartache. He understands the depths of your pain. He is not far off.   When You're Facing Trouble-Lean in, Don't Run In our home, we’ve gone through a season of back-to-back trials. Maybe you’re there too. But here’s what I’ve learned: running from pain doesn’t produce growth—leaning into it does. Jesus p