Delight Your Marriage

Surrender Your Masculinity to Jesus: Interview with Aaron Smith Consider this question: If your marriage never changed... Would Jesus still be enough? That question is at the heart of this week's conversation with Aaron Smith. For four long years, he and his wife struggled with painful intimacy issues that nearly ended their marriage. Like many couples, they kept praying for God to change their circumstances. Instead, God began changing their hearts. One of the most powerful moments in our conversation comes when Aaron realizes that Jesus didn't wait for His Bride to become perfect before giving Himself for her. He loved first. Sacrificially. Completely. That's the invitation for every one of us. Not because it's easy. But because it's the way of Christ. To love first. Let this conversation encourage you to remember: God cares about your marriage. He is worthy of your surrender. And He is still working. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes written with AI assistance) PS - Are you ready to take

Is It Manipulation or Is It Kindness? Whether you realize it or not, you're already influencing your spouse. Every day. Through your words. Your attitudes. Your reactions. Your encouragement. Your silence. The question isn't whether you're influencing them. The question is why. Are you trying to get your own way? Or are you trying to help them become who God created them to be? That's what this week's podcast is all about. Many husbands and wives feel guilty when they want change in their marriage. They worry that encouraging their spouse toward growth somehow makes them manipulative. But what if influence itself isn't the problem? What if the real issue is the motive behind it? In this episode, we explore the difference between selfish manipulation and godly influence—and why helping your spouse move closer to Jesus may actually be one of the most loving things you can do. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes written with AI assistance) PS - Ready to take the leap and begin healing your marri

Not a Bad Marriage, But the Future Looked Disconnected: David's Transformation Journey One of the biggest lies couples believe is this: "This is just what marriage becomes." The excitement fades. The connection weakens. The emotional intimacy disappears. And we convince ourselves that's normal. This is where David found himself. His marriage wasn't falling apart, but it wasn't thriving either. He was starting to see small cracks ("micro-fissures" as he called them) in the foundation. As a couple, they were functioning fine–paying bills, raising kids, managing life– but somewhere along the way, they had stopped truly connecting. When looking for advice, he would hear things like: "That's marriage." "That's life." "Honeymoon's over." But God offers something different. Marriage was never designed to be two people surviving under the same roof; it was designed to reflect Christ's love. To be life-giving. Refreshing. Connected. When David stopped focusing on what was missing and started focusing on becoming the

If you've ever looked in the mirror and felt disappointed... If you've ever believed the lie that your body isn't beautiful enough, desirable enough, or worthy enough... I want you to know something. That voice is not God's voice. The God who knit you together in your mother's womb did not make a mistake when He made you. Your body is not something to be ashamed of. Your story is not something to hide. Your weaknesses are not proof that you've failed. In fact, some of the sweetest intimacy in marriage happens when we stop pretending we're perfect and allow ourselves to be fully seen. Seen physically. Seen emotionally. Seen fully & honestly. The enemy would love for you to stay hidden behind shame. But God invites you into freedom. He invites you into connection. He invites you into the warmth that comes when we stop performing and start being known. You don't have to arrive at perfection before you allow yourself to be loved. You are already loved. And that changes everything. With love, The Delight Your

In case you need this reminder today: You are allowed to be in process. You are allowed to say, "I do not have all the answers yet, but I want to learn." You are allowed to be growing. That is not failure. That is humility. And humility is often far stronger than we realize. Sometimes we think confidence means having everything figured out before we take a step. But that's not real confidence at all. Real confidence says, "I'm willing to learn." Real confidence says, "I don't know everything, but I'm going to move forward anyway." Real confidence says, "I may make mistakes, but I'm not going to let fear keep me stuck." Because transformation requires confidence. Not confidence that you'll do everything perfectly, but rather confidence that God can help you grow. Remember: you are not starting from zero. There have been times you loved your spouse well. There have been moments that brought a smile to their face. There are ways God has already grown you that you may have forgotten. You are a good spouse who wan

Sometimes Christians speak about the body as though it barely matters. As though spiritual growth and physical stewardship are completely separate things. But Scripture paints a very different picture. God created your body intentionally. Jesus came in a body. Jesus rose in a body. And one day, we will receive glorified bodies. Your body matters to God. In this episode, Justin Roethlingshoefer (Own It Show, The Power of Ownership) explained how many people live disconnected from their bodies entirely. Ignoring exhaustion. Ignoring stress. Ignoring burnout. Ignoring emotional pain. Until eventually the body begins sounding alarms we can no longer ignore. Anxiety. Fatigue. Autoimmune struggles. Hormonal issues. And often we wonder: "Why is this happening to me?" But perhaps sometimes the better question is: "Have I been stewarding what God entrusted to me?" Not from condemnation, but from invitation. Because God is not trying to shame you. He is inviting you into abundant life. And at the center of that invitat

Maybe intimacy in your marriage doesn't look the way you thought it would. Maybe there are physical limitations. Health challenges. Pain. Insecurity. Lack of desire. Aging. Shame. Or just a deep sadness that things don't feel the way they "should." And maybe, quietly, you've wondered: Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with us? Are we just broken? This episode is for the husband or wife who feels discouraged, different, or alone in this area of marriage. Let this be an encouragement that intimacy is more than what we often make it out to be. It is about unity. Tenderness. Connection. Loving your spouse well in the ways you are able. If you feel unseen or forgotten by God in this area, this is a reminder that God sees you. You are not forgotten. You are not beyond hope. And you are not strange or weird for wanting help in this area. This may be a real suffering in your marriage—but suffering is not proof that God has abandoned you. He can use even this tender, painful place to grow humility, love,

Can we give you an encouragement today? Just because your marriage has felt cold… Disconnected… Tense… Or emotionally distant for years… Does not mean that's how it has to stay. In today's episode, a wife recently shared that for years, her husband told her he didn't feel respected — and honestly? She truly didn't understand what he meant. Not because she didn't love him. Not because she was trying to hurt him. But because no one had ever taught her what respect actually looks like to a husband. And over time, little hurts built up. Distance built up. Frustration built up. She described herself as becoming colder toward affection — even non-sexual touch felt difficult. But instead of staying stuck, she decided to ask God to change her. She humbled herself and leaned in. And slowly, things changed. Her husband began saying things like: "I finally feel respected." "I finally feel seen." "I finally feel like you get it." Yes, that's possible. When we begin loving our spouse the way God designed them to receive l

 All Your "Godly" Accomplishments Are Nothing? What if you could "win" in every area of life… and still lose the things that matter most? Because according to Jesus, success isn't measured by productivity, influence, money, ministry titles, or getting more done than everyone else. It's measured by love. "Love is patient and kind…" (1 Corinthians 13) That means our marriages matter. Our tone matters. The atmosphere in our home matters. The way we treat our spouse and children matters. This episode is for driven husbands (and honestly, anyone with a high-achieving personality) who may be unintentionally sacrificing tenderness, emotional safety, and connection on the altar of accomplishment. You do not have to keep living rushed, impatient, emotionally disconnected, or spiritually distracted. Jesus can teach you another way. A slower way. A gentler way. A truly strong way. And it may be the very thing your marriage and family are longing for most. God bless you, Belah (Used AI to draft shownotes from Belah's

From Tolerating to Delighting: Marriage Transformation Is Possible (feat. Gary Thomas & Belah Rose) Imagine this: Your husband is working nights and you are cleaning houses during the day.    When you find out you are pregnant, you pursue a dream of writing a book.   Every morning you walk to the coffee shop just down the street to write.    One of your favorite things to do is listen to books about marriage. One of your favorite books on the topic is written by Gary Thomas. In his book, Sacred Marriage, he asks, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy instead of happy?"   Now, fast forward just a few years.    You are having a conversation with that author, and he tells you he is a fan of your work.    Fast forward a couple more years, and you get to be mentored by this same author.    Eventually, it becomes evident that he and I can help more couples by joining forces and creating a collaboration where he shares his wisdom through books and speaking, and you are able to provide coaching and accountab

Do We Call What is Holy "Sin" (and What is Sin "Holy") When I was first a believer, I had a very strong view of what was right and what was wrong. I had a sense that anything I was uncomfortable with was definitely wrong. After a lot of of life…and sadly time away from Jesus…and God healing and redeeming my journey, I've come to realize that there are things I am uncomfortable with, but are not necessarily sin. And there are things I am comfortable with that aren't sin necessarily. -- Quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate: The program is great! I love the focus on self-growth, personal responsibility and spiritual practices that unlock God's love in our heart and the heart of our spouse. God truly used this program to change my life... I have a softened heart toward my wife now. I desire to love her the way God desires. I went from a miserable and sexless marriage to a wonderful and passionate sex-filled marriage! -- Because you and I are not meant to be led by what's comfortable. We are meant to be l

Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle Ten years of no physical intimacy. That is where husband & wife, Jim & Willa, found themselves. For 38 years of marriage, Willa described her husband as a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. And up until recently, Jim felt so frustrated and angry in his marriage that he wanted to leave. They were sleeping in separate bedrooms, had busy lives, he left before she woke up just to avoid her most days. Jim shared they literally hadn't touched in years. -- Quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate: "Week by week in this program, I've been taking an honest look at myself and owning the ways I've dropped the ball in our marriage. I've been working on making [my wife] feel safe, known, and cherished, and when things get tough, I've been fighting my old habit of pulling away by choosing to lean in instead. I've been putting what I'm learning into practice—going from arguing almost every day to just a few times in the last six months,

You might be one who can work all day and feel great.   And maybe you struggle to take a vacation.   Maybe if you're really honest with yourself, you think productivity is next to godliness.   If you're like Brad and I -- that's us nodding our heads. We're just wired that way. That's not the end of the story...   But Brad had a mentor that wouldn't let go of him until he could see that drivenness is ruining his life.   Not the fact that he is driven (Brad didn't give that up), but the fact that he felt he wasn't enough unless he achieved X, Y, and Z. Brad's marriage journey is pretty powerful and directly relates.   If Brad was more committed to his work than his wife -- she would feel betrayed. As many wives do who have this dynamic in their marriages.   Many out there sacrifice the possibility of peace and joy in their lives because they're too busy to notice the life Christ offers them.   God is sufficient.   God rested.   God delights in us -- you can delight in this world, and you can delight in those He

Today marks the day that God stooped so low to live a perfect life and die a gruesome sinner's death -- to save you. And save me.  Why? Not because we were perfect. Not because we could earn His love. Who could earn that?   But because He decided we were worth it.    We aren't deserving of His sacrifice because we're so great -- it's because HE'S so great. He's so good, kind, and gracious that He decided we were priceless to come and rescue.  And if you are priceless -- a prized treasure Jesus came to save... Is your spouse?    If the answer is yes... Are you treating your spouse like they are Jesus' prized treasure? Priceless in the eyes of the God of the Universe? Do you believe they are?   In today's episode, I hope to remind you of how loved you are by the Lord.  And with that in mind, I hope you also remember how loved your spouse is.  May that encourage us to love each other better and with a fuller heart. Blessings, Belah   PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clar

Become the man your wife respects and desires again—before prices increase Book your Clarity Call now -------------------------------------------- I'm speaking to a man who wants to fix things. He is not a whiner, complainer, or blamer. He's interested in taking responsibility and making things better. But if he's really honest with himself, sometimes he feels that his wife prioritizes the kids above him.    If you're in that category, I'd like to speak to you directly. You're right, it's not ok. This isn't a good dynamic. And if she's a Jesus-follower, it's also not biblical.    Ok.    Now that that's settled.    What do you do?    The thing you CAN control is yourself. You can update the lens by which you are evaluating the situation.   As a driven guy you know that if you do the same thing in business, you'll get the same results. But if you shift gears and do something else -- you'll see different results.    That's what I'm inviting you to do today. Shift gears. Try on a different set of lenses and see i

526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release] I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.   Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy… I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.   One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.   So, you probably do…   But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.   Fast forward to today.   Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection. (Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" ) For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.   But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely? And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!?   AND you're not full of fear.   Is

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] As silly as it may seem, something as sacred and biblical as marital intimacy comes right down to the practical of "hey, it's just too quiet in the house for intimacy".    So, how do you solve for the biggest reasons a couple doesn't connect in this God-honoring way? Well, that's what today's conversation is all about.    In this episode, we do a lot less philosophy and theology and get into the specific tools that can help you no matter how busy your life is right now.    Even if other things you've looked into haven't given you something practical to do that is attainable. My goal by the end of this episode is for you to consider new things you can implement into your life that can tear down the blocks to intimacy in a practical way.    Ultimately, at Delight Your Marriage want to help and make your spouse and marriage feel loved, playful, and even passionate together. To read an AI generated summary, click here. Belah

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] Sometimes I have been asked if I, as a woman, should be teaching men. When it comes up, I really appreciate that question because it shows a level of maturity and commitment to scripture.  The truth is, I never intended to be coaching or training men. That, in fact, is something I was against, at first. I intended to just follow Titus 2 by inviting women to learn to love their husbands well.  As I wrote the book and started the podcast and coaching women with this end in mind, men started reaching out to me. It was kind of uncomfortable at first.  I didn't know what to do with it. They were asking how they could get their wife to listen to my material. "I have no idea. That's on you." I wasn't cold-hearted, I just didn't think it was prudent.  Well, I was speaking to my husband, and he felt like it would be ok to speak to some of them via email or possibly a phone call, just so I could understand.  And when I did, I could tell "wow, now I see

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] I have grown in my journey of processing pain. But I still slip up. Today, I want to share with you a recent insight I've received on what I still need God's help to work through.  I hope we can walk together, looking at our Savior, first and foremost to discover His purposes for our suffering.  Your suffering matters.  It matters to God.  It matters in His will.  There is comfort in knowing He has a purpose for it.  I'd love to share what God is teaching me through His word and what I hope will be encouraging for you in your story.  Let us be open to being guided by His Word first and foremost. Let us see His correction as His kindness that leads us to repentence because He is so, so good.    To read an AI generated summary, click here.   Love & sincere prayers for you my precious listeners,  Belah   PS - Quote from a recent graduate:  After being celibate almost a decade, they are now intimate regularly and both are thrilled! Wife: "Overa

A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story There are transformations that happen fast—like a spark, a breakthrough, a moment where everything shifts.And then there are transformations that happen patiently, steadily, layer by layer… over years. Dan's story is that second kind. Because five years ago, Dan wasn't walking around thinking his marriage was "bad." He actually wrote on his intake form that their marriage was probably a six or seven—a good marriage. A steady marriage. A marriage with history and shared life and inside jokes. But there was one ache that wouldn't let him rest: Intimacy had disappeared. And the pain of that—especially when you love your spouse, you're faithful, you're trying, you're confused, and you still can't "fix it"—can start to completely take up your mind. And Dan could feel it happening. So he did what so many people do when they're desperate: he went looking for answers. "This lady knows my pain…" Dan had never been a podcast guy. But when the ache gets loud e