Delight Your Marriage

ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY.  Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass   --  About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting. ​​And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his wife on a daily basis which prevents her from coming towards him in intimacy... which leads us to Paul's powerful testimony of Jesus' work in his marriage. This conversation is such a joy because you can’t help but be in awe of God after listening.    Paul and his wife had been married 38 years. And unfortunately, many of those years were sexless.    Though they spent 21 years in counseling, tens of thousands of dollars on counseling, they had experienced separations and he said they were housemates and often adversaries.   “The year before your course, we had sex 4 times” and as he puts it there was no intimacy, just

Have you ever felt like your intimacy was just a duty that needed to be marked off the “to-do” list? What about that sex was great physically but emotionally it was empty? Or, have you gone to bed wondering why this amazing, God-given thing is causing so much strife in your marriage? Kyle & Ali were both there at one point in their marriage… Ali saw sex as a “thing” that was constantly there pestering her. She was intimate with her husband to please him and only him. Their children noticed that their marriage was suffering. They were not emotionally connected, so they were not acting as a team. They communicated solely to run their family. But then... They took a leap of faith and joined the Delight Your Marriage men’s program and women’s program! Now Ali loves communication and their home is a “peaceful and cozy environment.” The pressure is gone and she feels the freedom to initiate. Intimacy is a priority now and not just another chore to be done. In fact, she shares,s, “I desire sex now! I didn’t thin

Anne and Glenn lived in a blissful honeymoon state at the beginning of their relationship, until their relationship quit growing and grew stale. They described it as being stuck in winter.   Anne felt like intimacy was an obligation and sex felt forced. She did not feel emotionally connected and he did not feel physically connected, so the suffering began.... and stayed for over two decades.    The power of a praying wife… God touched Glen and caused him to start a journey to better himself and turn his marriage around. He stumbled upon a Delight Your Marriage podcast and shortly afterward signed up for Masculinity Reclaimed.    In fact, at 3am God prompted him to sign up… and he’s glad he did!   He discovered how to date his wife again, how to connect deeper, how to forgive, and how to be vulnerable in his marriage. Not only did Anne begin to notice the changes, but so did their daughter and son!   The trickle effect continued when Anne decided to take the Delight Your Marriage, Intimate Freedom course. She

If you want your marriage to change... this is required. Faith. Faith that it will change. But how do you even get there? How does it relate to your life? I have some extremely practical ways for you to have a renewed sense of faith that things can change. Keep in mind, if you don't have faith things will change---undoubtedly they never will. It is so easy to compare our lives and our circumstances to those around us. Add on plenty of cultural norms that make negativity almost an expectation. That becomes the breeding ground for anxiety, worry, depression, and angst to grow.    But God has called us to live a life full of joy and abundance even in our marriage and intimacy.    Join me as we discover the deeper meaning of faith, what having a disciplined mindset means, and how to visualize positivity for our lives in the middle of a hard season.    Blessings, Belah    PS If you’d like to join the FREE training for women all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time — go to delig

Today’s interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program. They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened…   Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department.    She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately.    Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not actually all her fault.     So, he set out on a journey of self exploration, enrolled in Masculinity Reclaimed, learned how to emotionally connect with his wife, and slowly but surely progress began to follow.    At one point he basically says -- honestly, I thought the men you interviewed of their success through your program were paid actors… until it happened to our sex life!   But most importantly he shares in this episode the specific shifts he made in himself that transformed their intimacy.   Join me as we dive into how Jeremiah w

Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you.    I have some very important lifestyle and in-the-moment advice for you when you are in the mood but she is not.    These are productive things you can do. And if you know me at all, I'm rooting for generous and fiery passion in your marriage, but... how do you get there?   Some of my advice may seem like it's not moving you in that direction. However, you may be surprised that when you become more the man God wants you to become--in the context of your marriage--your wife naturally is drawn to that. Intimately.    Lots of goodness in this podcast and I think it will help a lot of men get a vision of how to shift things long-term and even in the moment when they are desiring her.   Blessings, Belah   PS... For the free Men's Training coming at the end of March, go to delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining   For the free advice training for men who want to invite their wives to lis

Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be.    Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time.    So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to struggle to have passion. But what if there was a way to actually organize your life so that passion is a consistent desire and fulfilling activity?    That's what I want to talk to you about.   As Jesus followers, we are invited to do things that aren't the societal norms.    I think that passion for women is fairly "natural" for the first 2-3 years of a relationship/marriage. And after that it requires intentionality.    She just stops feeling it... nothing against that specific husband necessarily, she switches to life, busyness, mom - mode. And the attracting-that-guy-mode which heightened libido fades.   BUT! A

Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years.  She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time. A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears.  And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized.  God did an utter miracle in her heart and her marriage. For days she had a voracious appetite for intimacy with her husband. She says it gave her insight into how a man feels all the time. And she feels a oneness with him she's never felt previously. Her husband changed! His low-grade depression disappeared! He is becoming a better father and man of faith. He is thriving before her eyes. Their daughter even asked: "Mom, what happened to dad??" If you're a wife, I encourage you to listen with an open heart. God may want to speak to you through Darcy's story of love for Jesus. Which fueled a change of heart towards her husband.  I encourage you, if

I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.  So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days, which lead to weeks, which lead to years and then decades. We must be cautious about how we spend our time, and spend it in priority to God's will.  I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live.  I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. Because I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move towards it more and more every day

There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several. Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there.  ...you want to run away.  ...you're exhausted.  ...your spirit is broken.  Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others.  I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to get this thing turned around. The podcast I released is a roadmap on how to get to a place this thing turned aroundce where you maybe, could possibly want to stay married.  It's not easy when you have been beaten down, neglected, rejected, controlled... What can you do?  I want to give you 5 Steps that if followed in order, can quite possibly save your marriage and actually make you want to stay in it! I don't have to convince you that your life (your kids' lives...) would be better if your marriage became healthy and loving again.  I hope you'll take the encouragement to focus on this and make these import

When we have a warm, loving culture in a family, passionate intimacy is the result. Or is it the cause? -- If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family. How can we see this as a gift? If you're a husband...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your wife towards frequency, engagement, and freedom in intimacy.  If you're a wife...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift your intimate interactions to one which attracts your husband to be a man of the fruits of the spirit, romantic, and the spiritual leader. Either party can make important changes.  ​​But changes are hard and risky. Risking looking silly. Risking being laughed at or judged because this is outside of your "norm". ​​Luckily in the midst of the challenge, there is a huge opportunity to redefine your "norm". Redefine the culture of your marriage.  ​ ​​Making a culture that actually brings you

My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband.    After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it. But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect.  For wives: if you feel "pushed," (assuming there's not abuse and your husband is a good man) Diana's encouragement is to come at it with an open mind. "What do you have to lose? ...Your marriage"  I believe this conversation is one you won't want to miss!   For wives... Right now I have FREE training series for wives: Seductive Confidence, you can get it at delightyourmarriage.com/sc (Be sure to sign up right now so you can have access to the training!) For husbands: here's some free advice if you'd like to invite your wife to listen to my trainings: delightyourmarriage.com/advice

This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men.  Husbands: I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires.  If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training.    Wives: If you're a wife and want to get access to a FREE training called Seductive Confidence Masterclass. I am excited to encourage more women to grow in their God-given right to be free, playful, and loving through intimacy!   Blessings, Belah

Hi there,    Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :) If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day.   It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way.   This conversation will be instructive for wives -- who feel insecure and challenged by seduction -- and husbands -- who want to be pursued with playful and fierceness.   For men - You'll find out that gentleness and compassion are the keys to her heart as well as specifically what to say to her that makes her want to make you happy intimately.  For women - You'll hear from a really good man, what seduction means to him and why it's important.    If you'd like to get a free download of some of my favorite seduction tips, you can go to delightyourmarriage.com/tips and you'll be signed up for the Free Training on Seductive Confidence coming soon! Blessings,  Belah

As a wife, this is something I really struggled with.   Why would he want me to do such embarrassing things? Does it remind him of sin? I don't want to be associated with his past. Also, it's not my personality.  And in general, I'm not comfortable.    I had SO many more hang-ups around this.    But, one thing kept knawing at me. Why is this all over our society?   Specifically seduction. Yes, the act is in certain movies and x-rated things that I don't watch. But seduction is almost unavoidable (even in PG-13 movies). Whether it's a glance, a teasing, and revealing advertisement...it's everywhere and unavoidable.   It's in every culture all around the world.    Yesterday, I received an email that Delight Your Marriage is ranked as the #1 Podcast in the categories of Sexuality as well as the category of Health & Wellness in several African countries which (is really cool!) means that culture doesn't make a difference.   These philosophies go across cultures and all over the globe.   Why does seduction mat

If you're new to Delight Your Marriage, this is the first episode you should listen to.   Many people come to my resources with a question on how to make their marriage better but they really don't know where to start.    This is a rundown on the most important philosophical underpinnings of Delight Your Marriage.   This gives the best introduction to the foundational principles that I use with people from all over the world--by God's grace--to transform their marriages and families.   Just a few things included:  What a husband needs and what a wife needs to feel fulfilled in a marriage Why intimacy is so important to a husband and that's reflected in the brain's physiology  Why, I believe, God made men & women's drives so different The underlying reasons emotional and physical intimacy isn't strong in a marriage When people are struggling in their marriage they often get advice which makes it all worse. What's the missing piece? Strategy. Listen in and go to delightyourmarriage.com/resources to find o

So, today's a pretty important day. And you may listen to this in the future which will be relevant.    More than ever, our land is divided and we have strong convictions on right and wrong. In Jesus' day political issues based on power, oppression, greed, and con... plagued everyone he interacted with. They were impacted at a personal level.   Jesus' sights were different than those experiencing political suffering. He taught us how to love from our hearts. He brought enemies together to pursue God's kingdom over an earthly kingdom.    I don't know what is going to happen in this election. I know I voted according to my convictions.   More importantly, I know that if the other side wins, God is still my King. He is bigger than me. His timeline is far bigger than the number of years I am on this earth.    So, if the next 4 years needs to look different than I hoped, I will not take that out on God.   Because He knows better than I do. Instead, I will pray for those who I might consider enemies right now. I wi

Hi there!   I hope things are going well for you. I have an inspirational story to share with you today. It's a story of challenge and ultimately hope and healing.    Alexis and Justin (re-definingnormal.com) grew up in homes that had significant abuses, including sexual and drug abuse. By societal expectations, they wouldn't have gotten through that pain.   But God intervened. Both went through the foster care system and by God's grace, amazing things have changed for them. AND they're now founders of organizations that help others who have gone through similar challenges.   They've written a book about their story and today, we focus on how Justin helped his wife heal from her trauma by his reliance on the Lord.   My encouragement is to listen in and be encouraged and inspired to continue your journey. And I think it will encourage you that people like Justin and Alexis are doing amazing things for people---Jesus' hands in the earth.     Check out all the links we reference here!   Blessings, Belah   PS I

I'd like to give you a view of communication that isn't repressing feelings but also isn't open with all of them, at least not all at once. And when you are open slowly, you are in a way that encourages the good rather than discouraging everything. I think in our fast-paced society nowadays, we feel this inappropriate pressure to share all the feelings we have about a topic (sex is a big one!) with our spouse because we need to get that checked off of our mental burden list. Or we need to finally unload or get it off our chest. So we pile on all these painful complaints, criticisms, and unacknowledged feelings all at once. And it causes huge divisions between partners and can take years to heal, if at all. My encouragement in today's podcast is to think of your relationship not as a 30-minute conversation but as a 90-year conversation. There is no need to address everything right now. There is a need to be respectful, kind, gentle, grateful, and loving in all your communication with your spouse. When that is

Hi there,    This podcast is for men (or the women who want to peer inside of hearts of men) it's all about the specific Stages to Sexual Freedom that a husband can employ to transform his marriage---even if he's the only one doing the work.   If you're an action-taker once you know the process you're going to start and fix this once and for all, this is the podcast for you.   I believe that those who listen will feel empowered to do what God wants them to do in their marriage to truly transform it.    In the second half of the episode I'll be sharing more about the Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again program.   We'll even hear from Vikas who went from a sex-starved frustrated marriage with a young child to a place where she often initiates 3+ times per week and she doesn't' even know he did the program.    To learn more about the program he went through, go to delightyourmarriage.com/mrsp    Blessings, Belah     Enrollment is open now but won't be open