Delight Your Marriage

Oh wow -- what an awesome and surprising conversation I got to have with Ebony.  Firstly, this was supposed to be my opportunity to coach her as a recorded call for our ladies in the group. But, it turned into her sharing her testimony and wonderful insights and encouragements from her life that I just had to share with you! She was raised by a single dad, her husband was raised by a single mom.  Due to trauma and difficult heartaches in their history, they've suffered many challenges. She has 3 kids and wanted to rewrite the story of their future families. When she found DYM it was after she had a season of working on her mental health through therapy. (Something I have done and highly recommend as well!) When she found the DYM podcast, God started speaking to her through the material. And she decided to get on a Clarity Call and join the program.  She didn't tell her husband because so many times in the past she has said something, he'd get his hopes up and then he would be disappointed.  She decided she wo

How do we process feelings in order to bring about healing into our relationships, rather than cause tension and strife? Can we trust our feelings? Do you struggle to interpret your spouses feelings? Does your spouse misinterpret your feelings? This podcast will help give some guidance about healthy ways to process our feelings and the feelings of those who are in our lives. What is your compass? Although feelings are real, feelings can be a disastrous compass. Feelings are volatile, unpredictable, and often, not even accurate to reality. There is a MUCH better compass to live by! In order to act in wisdom with our feelings, they cannot be our leader! Rather than react to our feelings, we need to respond to our feelings.  To be direct in our communication is easy for the speaker, but it is hard for the listener. Does our communication style make those who hear us feel safe, cherished, respected, admired, and loved? Yes, feelings - wisely handled - can be so helpful in so many ways! I invite you into this podc

Last week was part 1, and today I'm excited to bring you the last few items to rekindle the romance, intimacy, connection that may have been lost over the years.  Today, I am giving insights on sex, including responsive vs. spontaneous drive and libido. Which I think will help men and women - high or low drive. Seriously, if you know someone struggling in marriage -- these are the episodes to send them.  It's definitely high-level but if they'd follow it -- oh, my -- they'd be in a better place!   Blessings, Belah   PS - If you need help, we're here! Sign up for a Clarity Call (free, but worth $300) to determine how we can help you... delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - For a limited time (this training is going away soon!) there is a free masterclass for Christian wives:  delightyourmarriage.com/wm Wife, it would be an awesome Christmas present to him for you to take it!

So this is a catch-all type of episode that seeks to give you high-level insights where you can almost immediately gain traction in rekindling romance, passion, and connection your marriage -- or just take it to the next level.  So, if you've been looking for something...anything that could help -- here you go! If you have a friend who is on the rocks with their spouse, send them this episode (and the one coming out next week). If they follow it, I believe they'll witness God's dramatic transformation. Blessings, Belah PS - If you need help with your marriage immediately -- get on a call with a Clarity Advisor to go through how we can help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you are a wife and want to give your husband true connection for Christmas... take this free masterclass only available for a short time -- go to delightyourmarriage.com/wm

JUST in time for the holidays! Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately. (Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!) --- When I look at scriptures like... Phil 2:3 “Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself.” “Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse].”    That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it? And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?   I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday.   But...you may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with... -Untrue accusations... -Totally, self-cent

You have too much riding on this.  There is too much to lose or gain.  Don't give up.  My goal today is to encourage you. You're doing a really good job. Just by tuning in, you're winning. You're seeking to love your spouse well, even when it doesn't look like it matters.  You're seeking to do God's will in the midst of your circumstances.  My husband is on the show today because he's the best encourager that I know. And I want you to hear from him how much he wants you to know, you're on the right path, you're doing the right thing, and I am proud of you.  Love, Belah PS - If you need help right away, get with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you have yet to check out our free stuff -- do so here! delightyourmarriage.com/free

Sometimes we look at our blowups and wonder -- how did we even get here?  How did a wrong turn, an unpaid bill, an unwashed dish, or a burnt potholder... turn into World War III? What happened here? And why is this kind of nonsense tearing our family apart at its foundations? It's because you're not really fighting about a potholder.  You're fighting about all the unmet expectations from the years and years of pain you've experienced. And so is your spouse.  How do you get out of this cycle?  And more important: what does Jesus require of you in this cycle?  What does is matter in eternity whether or not you succumb to these kinds of blow ups? Well, my goal is to give you a bit of fear of the Lord to decide you are going to be a real follower of Jesus and the blow ups aren't gonna fly.   I hope you'll listen in with an open heart and a desire to grow and be edified. And ultimately a desire to grow closer to God's will for you. Blessings,  Belah PS - Two things:  1 - if you haven't yet checked, there are a ton

I used to be so weirded out by sex, because I was pursuing Jesus with everything.  How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior? Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you'll listen to today's podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage.  Love & Blessings, Belah PS - if you need immediate help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Masculinity Reclaimed (the program these gents took to transform their lives, by God's grace) has opened enrollment and it all closes down this Monday, October 18, 2021 11:59pm EST delightyourmarriage.com/minvite -- How frequently have you heard of marriages "on the rocks" or getting divorced? And how frequently are you hearing of marriages transformed and healed and better than when they were dating! (In just 3 months!?!?!?!)   HERE!   God is doing it HERE!    I want your faith to be inspired and encouraged and for you to feel true HOPE that if it can happen for him and him and him and him and him and him and him... It could happen for you! (And these are ONLY the men from the program who are brave enough to have their face and voice out on the internet for all to hear/see!) It's a movement and we have the largest turn out we've ever had in the free Men's Masterclass! And men are joining Masculinity Reclaimed left and right.    Now is your time -- you owe it to yourself to find out if this is where God would

If you're looking for hope that your marriage or intimacy could change, you've found it.  These are rapid-fire stories of how these men's marriages literally transformed in simply 3 months.  Here are these guys saying in rapid-fire interviews: "Now, it's better than when we were dating" "She initiated 5x in a week" and she didn't know he was doing the program. "Our emotional connection is so much better than it was...she's softening" "Our intimacy is night and day different"    If it can happen for them, why not you? I bet you'll hear your own story in theirs.   The Masculinity Reclaimed program is what they did and now God has transformed intimacy for their marriages! Listen in to hear hope and encouragement!   Join the Masculinity Reclaimed program before it all closes down 11:59pmEST on Monday Oct 18, 2021 delightyourmarriage.com   Blessings, Belah   PS - Once you go through MR, I'd like to add your testimonial to the list---it's pretty long at this point, but I want yours too :) Why not have the most ama

delightyourmarriage.com/minvite   If you join within the first day, you can get the fast-action bonus Team Strategy Session with Belah!   Hope to see you on the inside! Belah

This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up delightym.com and please send it to your friend who may need this. --Now to the show!-- I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.    Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy... I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.   One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife.    So, you probably do...   But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts.   Fast forward to today.    Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection. (Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" :) ) For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it.   But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely? And your enticing her

He does not know it will cost him his life.   Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing. But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life. (Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)   But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core.    I hope it does.    Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.   It's so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage is touted in our society as "normal" and even "healthy".   Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man's soul.    "He does not know it will cost him his life". Prov 7:23   So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets -- you don't know the danger. You can't see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not.    So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well

delightym.com Join us!  Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!). Some men have moved their vacation schedules! Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part.  Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage forever! Join us, Oct 11, 12 & 13 delightym.com

Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable. He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best! They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby. But he and she had resigned themselves to misery. He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them. But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace!   Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation? 1 - Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change.  2 - You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed.  3 - And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13.   delightym.com can get you straight to the Free Men's Masterclass sign up. (It's easier to type than delightyourmarriage.com but both will get you to the registration page!)   (To help spread the word about DYM--even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)--le

Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord. But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible! Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE. Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed. It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other.  And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can. One way is pretending that we're the same.  Why is this bad? Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction. And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction. But if we start with the perspective: My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than

Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him.  They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past.  And her libido was SO low.  Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes. (She didn't do a program). His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"! -- Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!) They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others.  And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive. Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse.  And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all.  But, he took a step of fai

This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum.    We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse.    When you want them to change.    When you feel they were irresponsible.   I have two examples for you:  1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything. 2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything.   I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage.   Love,  Belah   PS - The free Masterclass is coming up soon (for a limited time) and I encourage you to sign up ASAP so you don't miss it! delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass PPS - I'm excited to invite you to an "Intimacy Secrets Summit" that I was honored to be a part of. A superstar cast of intimacy experts that I would encourage you to get a seat with! Coming up next week!

So much stress revolves around communication. I've been there! My husband and I have miscommunications everyday. Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe.  That is silly and allowed for laughter. But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions. Or when you're in a stressful situation and one of you is incomprehensible (to you).  Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is.  I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse.  I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches: "Your spouse should be your best friend", or "You have to be compatible with someone to be happy", or "If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death.” Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?) Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder!   Blessings, Belah PS If you need immedia

Two brothers were at the playground the other day.  I was talking to their mom. This happens to be a beautiful playground with a huge fountain and amazing monkey bars, places to run, sand, swings, ride-on toys, and loads of other kids to play with.  But guess what these two did? They fought over the same circular "stool" to stand on! The mom and I laughed. With everything available for them to do, THAT is what they had to fight about. Then I think about God.  We get into squabbles with our spouses. Over... Who told the story most correctly, who knows the quickest way to the store, what they really meant by that phrase, whether or not they're late, who squishes the toothpaste out correctly... Oh... Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His thoughts higher than our thoughts, are His ways higher than our ways. God have mercy! May we get it right...get into God's will for us.  That starts with the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord puts our lives, habits, tiny things we do, and ways of being into th