Savage Lovecast

A straight man in his 40s can only come if his lady is so, so, very wet. Is this a kink? Also, as he and his partners are aging, the likelihood of his finding a woman who can accommodate him diminishes. What can he do to ensure middle aged orgasms for all? A man’s husband has a lush, silky beard. Other men just need to touch it! The caller hates this, and wishes they would leave his husband’s pretty chin alone. How can he learn to politely rebuff their advances? On the Magnum, a woman struggles with sex when her boyfriend initiates. Past trauma gets in the way of her enjoyment. Dan brings on Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, and former sex crimes prosecutor to talk about ways of breaking the bad associations between sex and fear. She also advocates for BDSM as a healing modality.  Finally, a gay man just joined a new gym, and finds he’s got some exhibitionist tendencies. But he wants to make sure he’s being a good gym citizen. What is the etiquette amongst the sweaty brotherhood?  [email protected]    206-

A woman’s fiancé wants her to ride him. She’s game but feels self-conscious because she’s big and has some body issues. He loves her body just as it is. How can she embrace her inner big cowgirl?  A woman is dating a few men casually. Some of these guys do bondage and impact play leaving the evidence on her body, which she really loves. But when she shows up with marks from another man, some of her lovers get angry in a way that feels unsafe to her. How can she resolve this? On the Magnum, did you know they were suuuuuper kinky in the Middle Ages? Dan chats with Medieval historian Eleanor Janega, about St. Sebastian, the ceiling porn that is the Sistine Chapel, and the timelessness of spankos. Her blog Going Medieval is a kick- check it out.  And, a man has a crush on his girlfriend’s sister. He’s a bad liar. Should he tell his girlfriend how he feels, or keep it in and wait for the crush to fade?   [email protected]     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, se

A tantric tease gave his buddy a long, erotic, boner-ifying massage which the caller describes as the best non-penetrative sex he has had…ever. But the dude is in a monogamous relationship, and because there was no penetration, never considered it cheating. Now the caller is panting with lust and wants more.  A woman’s friend was dating a guy who claimed to be a recovering sex addict. But the caller discovered that he was concurrently dating another woman, telling both of them that they were his one and only. Having learned this, the friend is not quite ready to DTMFA. How can the caller help to get her there?  On the Magnum, Dan politely spars with Katherine Dee, an internet writer who has been following some key players in the “sex negativity movement.” How can we reconcile the promises of the sexual revolution with rising reports of female dissatisfaction? And here’s something you’ve never heard on the Lovecast: “There’s something wrong with you if you’re into bondage.” Somehow, Dan keeps his cool.  And, a

A polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share?  A bi woman and her man used to go to co-ed bathhouses. Once covid hit, they stopped. Now that there’s monkeypox to consider, should they stay out of this bathhouse? Or can they still go if they only play with each other while they’re there? Dan brings on medical writer Benjamin Ryan to go over some pros and cons.  On the Magnum, we present an interesting conundrum and an even more interesting guest. A 45 year-old woman’s parent came out as a trans woman a few years ago. The daughter uses she/her pronouns, but gets hung up when talking about the past. She remembers growing up with a father, not two mothers, and her parent encourages use of the word “dad” to refer to that time. But that’s hard! Dan brings on Chrissy Stroop, an

A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests?  Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back cherished cartoonist and mental health coach Ellen Forney to talk about mood disorders, and whether to leave your pills out by the bed. Forney’s books “Marbles” and “Rock Steady” are must-haves whether you have bipolar, love someone who does, or are just interested in the subject. And, meet a woman who embodies the concept of GGG with exceptional valor. Her boyfriend was delighted when she accidentally peed during sex and then asked if she would, well, you know,…poop. Her concern? She’s a giggler and worries she’ll la

So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work.  And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOYSLUT about being promiscuous in the age of monkeypox, and how to ask politely if the third in your three-way has gotten tested for STIs.  A bi man has been out there seeking casual sex. Is it appropriate to ask a hook-up partner what she would do if she got pregnant, despite their precautions?  [email protected]. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of

We’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful this disease can be. The two talk about the disease, dispel some myths, and discuss the danger of anonymous, multi-partnered sex right now.  [email protected]   206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.

My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal?  A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw it. Should she?  On the Magnum, we have Dr. Jen Gunter on to talk about the effect abortion bans are having on people’s libidos, and the desire to have kids at all.  A married man has a 4 year-old child that was conceived months into their relationship. In order to diagnose a medical condition the child has, he got some genetic testing done. He discovered that he is not the biological father. He loves his kid thoroughly and loves his fatherhood role. Should they tell the biological father? What if the bio-dad wants to sw

A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all! On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this week is Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. She and Dan talk about the societal pressure non-monogamous folks contend with, and how communication is elevated to an art when you have a bevy of metamours circling around.  A woman is enjoying a short term relationship with a man. She wants to try dom/sub action, specifically being worshiped as a goddess. He’s into it! So what’s the catch? He has erectile dysfunction and won’t get hard during this kind of play. His visual arousal is key to her f

A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out.  On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special sex toy that Andrew created specially for folks like this. Get yourself a Bump’n Joystick or fund someone else who could use one here: https://getbumpn.com And, guess who’s coming to the wedding? Why, it’s the grooms racist, homophobic, drunk mother! One of the bridesmaids is gay, and dating a trans woman. How can the caller avoid turning her very special day into the shit-show of the century?  [email protected]     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extr

Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him?  A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he?  On the Magnum, learn a thing or two about monkeypox with Dr. Ina Park. Dr. Park, author of Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History and Surprising Secrets of STDs, explains how and why this new virus is something for gay men to pay particular attention to.  Meanwhile, a mid 50s woman keeps scoring and getting ghosted by much younger men. Is there something she’s doing wrong? Or right?  [email protected]. 206-302-2064 Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™

A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle?  A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current total hottie comedian David Drake. They talk about mining your personal life for comedic material, and whether getting jacked at a massage parlor constitutes cheating. Fun! And, a caller is convinced that some bad actors are hiding behind the poly label to justify cheating. Is she right? She just might be right! (She’s right.) [email protected]      206-302-2064 There are 2 more days to take advantage of our half off sale for new subscribers to the Magnum. Go to Savage.Love and enter the promo code: SavagePride 2022 This e

Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this?  A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff. Why Porn Hub, why?!! On the Magnum, Dan chats with the good Doctor Joe Kort, who coined the term “sides.” Sides are gay men who aren’t into anal sex (but do plenty of other things.) They talk about the weird reaction sides get from both gay and straight folks, and also about first loves, the unwarranted herpes stigma, and meet sleazys. You should listen to this conversation but we warn you- you’re gonna feel good… And, a woman wants Dan to call her dad and berate him for getting in so many toxic relationships and then co

Believe it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spirit Ryan O’Connell from the Queer as Folk reboot. They talk about sex and dating with cerebral palsy and what to make of being fetishized for a disability. They also war over who coined “cumspringa” first. (It’s Dan.) Ryan is whipsmart and we all love him.  A woman has been with her boyfriend for 10 years. He’s straight as an arrow…when he’s sober. When he drinks he talks about wanting to be with men. He refuses to acknowledge that he has a touch of the queer in him. How can the caller get him to embrace this about himself

A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem.  A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can he leave her in the care of her adult children who live with her?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emmy and Tony-nominated actor, author, and producer Jesse Tyler Fergusson about Broadway, casting gays, and meddling, jealous ex-girlfriends. A gay man still has some photos up on social media of him and his ex. Some of his friends say he should take them down- it looks like he hasn’t moved on. Other advise him to keep them up- it shows high emotional IQ that he is still friends with his exes. What should he do?  We know wha

A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed?  A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, she looks at him and chickens out.  On the Magnum: Pegging WILL be in the Oxford English Dictionary. Or so says Dan’s new inside man. In the noble quest to enshrine the word “Pegging” in the world’s most respected record of the English language, Dan brings on Jesse Sheidlower, former editor at large of the OED to explain why some words get in and some don’t. Nerds rejoice! In your FACE Bill Savage! (This is one of Nancy’s favorite Magnum conversations just so you know.)  Ok, is it true that men don’t like it if you put out

A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men?  A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it?   In these dark times there is only one man who can bring the light. It’s Randy Rainbow! The genius who got us through the Trump years is out with a new book, and continues to churn out super-clever, super-gay videos. They answer a couple calls togethers, they laugh, they cry, they misgender someone, you get to listen. Some is on the Micro, all is on the Magnum.  Hear the pathos in the voice of this 30 year old man, who tumbled together with a woman and her husband. Now he’s catching feelings for the wife, the husband is pissed and the marriage just might end.

An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if he did this to her, is he still pretending to be someone he isn’t for other young women/girls? Should she tell his wife and blow up his life?  It’s hard to be ethically non-monogamous! It really is! This is what a man and his wife have learned after she cheated on him with a man who was cheating on *his* wife. Are there resources for folks trying to be open and honest?  Our all time favorite dominatrix, Mistress Matisse is back to discuss a few thorny issues. 1) Can we call ourselves and our pals “whore” in a sex-positive

“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd?  A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him on/make him jealous. As a lesbian, the caller recoils at the idea of providing “content” for some man. She and Dan discuss the matter. You get to hear their conversation. We have two guests for you this week. Did you know that England has sex scandals too? They do! Rachel Cunliffe, the Senior Associate Editor of the New Statesman, is on to talk about the naughty MP Neil Parish who resigned after he was discovered watching porn on the crowded House of Commons floor.  And on the Magnum, Dan chats with Searah Deysach from Chicago’

A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret?  A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral sex. But she can’t get the distaste for them out of her head. How can she learn to love giving them again?  On the Magnum, Dan interviews psychology professor Dr. Craig Harper about his research on sex doll owners. Is there a personality type associated with sex doll ownership? What kind of relationships do they have with women?  Finally, if a guy has an STI, does his semen taste different?  Like butterscotch maybe? [email protected]     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mat