Dad Starting Over Podcast

Why do so many women in long-term relationships cheat—and often with men who seem like total losers?In this video, I break down the science behind two popular theories about female infidelity: the Mate Switching Hypothesis and the Dual Mating Strategy. One of these is more “romantic.” The other is... well, it’s the one most men fear deep down.We’ll look at the latest research—including a 2024 study co-authored by Macken Murphy—and how it lines up with what I’ve heard from thousands of men in sexless marriages or reeling from betrayal.This is hard to hear. But if you want real answers, here they are.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

So many men ask me the same question: "How do I know when I've done enough?" They’ve put in the work. They’ve read the books. They’ve hit the gym, led with strength, stayed patient—and still… she avoids connection.In today’s Dear DSO, Alejandro writes in with a story that I’ve heard far too many times. A disconnected wife. Years of emotional avoidance. A man trying to fix things alone.I break it all down—how much responsibility is really on the man… and when it’s okay to say: “I’ve done all I can.”

A husband finds out—after 12 years of marriage and two kids—that he was never his wife's first choice. After a night of drinks and a fight, she admitted she "settled" for him and still thinks about her college ex.This is brutal. And it’s more common than you think.In this video, I break down his story, talk about what’s really going on in situations like this, and explain why some women end up choosing comfort over passion... until it all boils over.If you're a man trying to make sense of your relationship, sex life, or identity as a husband and father… you're not alone.

In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He didn’t listen.We talk about the consequences of ignoring red flags, the fantasy that keeps men trapped, and why your gut instinct is often your best guide.If you’ve ever thought, “I should’ve known better,” this one’s for you.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s defective, like he’ll never figure out how to talk to women or attract them. He sent in a long list of brutally honest questions:“How do I feel confident when women have all the power?”“How do I not look needy just by showing interest?”“Do normal guys really know what they’re doing?”This one hit hard, and I think a lot of men—especially autistic or ADHD guys—are going to relate.In this video, I break down where these feelings of shame come from, why experience and repetition are more powerful than any pickup advice, and how to start small and work your way up. This isn't about fake confidence. This is about getting real, falling on your face, and standing back up.

Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support.One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irritable, and completely checked out. You think you did something wrong. You didn’t.In this video, I break down the biological and psychological changes that happen during menopause—how they affect your wife, your relationship, and what you can do about it. This is a wake-up call for every man who wants to stay married in midlife.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never touched her. No sex. No intimacy. Nothing.He’s confused, frustrated, and finally waking up after reading The Dead Bedroom Fix.This is a classic case of mismatched libidos, avoidant behavior, and religious guilt. If you’re in a sexless relationship and wondering, "Is this normal?"—watch this.✉️ Got a story to share? Submit it at https://deardso.com

Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no attraction. She weaponized sex. She even stopped showering to repel him — and kept a log of when he initiated.He thinks he’s the problem.But here’s the truth: Some relationships are doomed from the beginning. And some men — especially anxious or neurodivergent men — miss every red flag because they’re too busy blaming themselves.In this Dear DSO episode, I walk through Mr. K’s situation and what it reveals about codependence, attraction, and the importance of walking away when a woman shows you who she is. If you’ve ever wondered, “What did I do wrong?”… this one’s for you.⚠️ Want to submit your own story? Go to https://deardso.com

Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “What the hell was that?”You were loyal. Honest. Steady. She was chaos.This happens all the time to autistic men—diagnosed or not. They end up in emotionally volatile relationships with women who may have traits of borderline personality disorder. These women are intense, manipulative, unpredictable… and the autistic man, with his calming and consistent energy, is the perfect target.In this video, I explain why this dynamic happens, what signs to watch for, and how to protect yourself from getting trapped in a relationship that feels more like emotional warfare than love.▶️ Need support? Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

In this Dear DSO submission, Richie asks a brutally honest question: What do you do when your wife is on SSRIs, has no sex drive, and has basically shut down in the bedroom?He’s not alone. A lot of men are quietly struggling with this. Kids, careers, medication, depression—it all adds up. And many men are left wondering if they’re crazy for wanting more. You’re not.In this video, I break down what SSRIs actually do to your sex life, how to approach the conversation with your wife, and when it’s time to either accept the reality… or walk away.

In this episode of Dear DSO, a man named Mark writes in about the pain of being stuck in a long-term, sexless marriage. He’s done the work—therapy, self-improvement, romantic gestures—but his wife still shows zero interest. Now he’s wondering: Should he blow up the family just to feel loved again?This one hits hard, and it’s a story I hear all the time. If you’ve ever felt like a ghost in your own home… like you’re just the guy who pays the bills and takes out the trash… this video is for you.I’ll walk you through what I call The Final Talk—a direct, compassionate, no-BS way to confront the situation and take back your self-respect. This is the conversation that could change everything.If you’re in this boat and don’t know what to do next, join the Brotherhood:

I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment style—or is she just not that into you?In today’s Dear DSO episode, we break down Paul’s situation. He’s stuck in the push-pull dynamic with a woman who’s triggering every anxious bone in his body. I explain why this dynamic is so damn addictive… and what it says about him that he’s still holding on.If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to “figure her out,” this one’s for you.

In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story: ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kids down ✅ A father who rebuilt his life, career, and confidence — but still worries about his boysI break down what happens long-term when kids get stuck in a toxic home and what (if anything) you, as the healthier parent, can realistically do to help.If you’re facing similar struggles, you’re not alone — join me and other men like you in the HFM Brotherhood: helpformen.com/join

In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10 times a year. He’s doing the chores, paying the bills, helping with everything, hoping it will reignite intimacy… but it hasn’t worked.We talk about perimenopause, the harsh biological and emotional shifts that happen in long-term marriages, and the hard truth: sometimes, no amount of chore-play will bring back the spark.

Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive?In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a submission from a man who feels like a prisoner to his own sexuality. He’s doing the work, improving his life, but still feels rejected, shamed, and shut out by his wife. Sound familiar?We’ll dig into the anxious/avoidant dynamic, religious repression, codependency, and the harsh truth that sometimes… they just don’t want you anymore.I’m not here to shame guys like this — I was this guy. If you relate, you’re not alone. We see this pattern over and over inside the Brotherhood.

In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question: "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?"This one came from Matt — a father of three, married for five years, and totally done having kids… but now he’s worried that the snip might lead to a dead bedroom.We break down:The primal fears behind vasectomy anxietyWhether a man’s fertility is linked to attractionThe truth about women’s desire post-snipHow stress and resentment play a bigger role than biologyWhy anxious thoughts can sabotage your relationshipIf you’re married, done having kids, and wondering if a vasectomy will ruin your sex life… this one’s for you.

In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, and find himself on the open road.Is this a classic midlife crisis, or the adventure of a lifetime? Let’s talk about what it means to "lose yourself" in the family machine… and whether it’s ever too late to start over.

In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about contact with the opposite sex, and discovered that his girlfriend followed and messaged a local pharmacy tech—without telling him. That was enough for John to walk away… but now he’s second-guessing everything.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wife finally opens up with a truth that changed everything.In this raw, honest conversation, we explore what it means to sacrifice your needs, the silent damage it does, and how deeply hidden trauma can shape a marriage for decades.This one’s for the guys out there wondering:“Is it me?”“Am I broken?”“Should I just stay?”…or finally walk away.Join The HFM Brotherhood!

In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarriage, infidelity, therapy, and now… his wife wants to separate again, “date,” and possibly reevaluate in six months.If you've ever felt like you're living in a constant loop of chaos in your relationship, especially after betrayal, this one will hit home. We unpack anxious attachment, gaslighting, guilt, PTSD, and how military culture compounds all of it.Join The HFM Brotherhood!