Fishing Without Bait

You can make a choice—and you can choose again. In episode 539 of Fishing Without Bait, host Jim Ellermeyer welcomes Melissa Carey back for part 3 of their conversation about choice, presence, and living with greater acceptance. Jim opens with two words he considers deeply empowering: “I choose.” Melissa shares her perspective on how unresolved experiences can influence our decisions and why trying something different can feel more frightening than it needs to. Through stories about her work and business, she reflects on learning from things that don’t work and listening more closely to what people need. The conversation also explores the value of doing less. Melissa describes finding her lane, creating space for the work she loves, and inviting people to pause through her online Breathing Room. She discusses her approach to teaching Reiki through the relationships among humans, animals, nature, and ecosystems. Together, Jim and Melissa consider impermanence, the things we take for granted, and the possib

Fishing Without Bait #538 – Melissa Carey: What Do You Deserve? (Part 3) What do you truly deserve from life? And how often do you sacrifice your own needs to accommodate everyone else's expectations? In Part 3 of our continuing conversation with Melissa Carey, host and behavioral health therapist Jim Ellermeyer explores the importance of self-awareness, personal boundaries, and creating a life that reflects who you really are. Melissa opens up about her own experience of being highly intuitive and naturally accommodating others, often anticipating their needs before they even ask. She reflects on recognizing these patterns, learning to honor her own choices, and understanding that personal growth doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes, what feels like returning to an old struggle is actually an opportunity to go deeper. Jim and Melissa also discuss the freedom that comes from admitting "I don't know." Rather than viewing uncertainty as a weakness, they explore how curiosity and a beginner's mind can open

Can you love your children deeply and still struggle with being a parent? Can you find peace with your past without wishing you could change it? And what happens when you finally start trusting your own decisions instead of everyone else's expectations? In Part 2 of his conversation with Melissa Carey, behavioral health therapist Jim Ellermeyer explores these questions and more on Fishing Without Bait. Melissa begins by discussing her introduction to Reiki and other energy-based practices, tracing her interests back to her education in music therapy and the mentors who helped shape her path. She explains her approach to Reiki, the importance of personal intention, and why she does not promise specific outcomes from a session. The conversation takes a deeply personal turn when Melissa discusses raising four children, including the additional demands that can come with special needs. She speaks openly about loving her children while struggling with the responsibilities and expectations of motherhood. For Me

In Part 3 of our conversation with Monica Ruiz of Casa San José, Jim Ellermeyer continues an important discussion about human dignity, community, misinformation and what each of us can do to help create a better world. Monica reflects on the progress Pittsburgh has made while discussing the work that still needs to be done, including language accessibility and the challenges faced by immigrant and marginalized communities. The conversation examines misconceptions surrounding public assistance, the importance of education, affordable housing, fair wages and the need to look beyond headlines and have meaningful conversations with real people. Monica also explains some of the practical ways people can become involved with Casa San José. Volunteering doesn't necessarily require an enormous commitment. Whether someone can donate time, provide a space, assist with an event or simply become better informed, there are opportunities to contribute. One of Monica's central messages is simple: meaningful interaction m

In Fishing Without Bait Episode 535, Jim Ellermeyer continues his conversation with Monica Ruiz of Casa San José for Part 2 of their discussion about human dignity, immigration, fear, and community support in Southwestern Pennsylvania. Monica describes the concerns she hears from immigrant families and the ways fear can affect everyday activities such as going to work, attending school, shopping, or participating in community life. She also discusses one of the biggest barriers Casa San José encounters: language access. The conversation explores the practical work Casa San José provides, including helping people understand documents and forms, connecting families with culturally responsive mental-health services, supporting families dealing with detention and bond proceedings, providing Know Your Rights education, and helping families prepare for emergencies. Monica also explains how Casa San José works with other immigrant-serving organizations and volunteer attorneys to connect people with legal assistan

In Part 1 of this special conversation, Fishing Without Bait host Jim Ellermeyer sits down with Monica Ruiz of Casa San Jose to talk about advocacy, community, human dignity, and what it means to truly listen to the people you are trying to serve. Monica discusses her path as a social worker and how her work eventually brought her to Casa San Jose. She shares the organization’s beginnings with Sister Janice Vanderneck and its growth from a small operation working out of a church basement into an organization with more than 35 staff members serving communities in Allegheny County and beyond. The conversation explores an important distinction in Casa San Jose’s mission: advocating not simply “for” the Latino community, but “with” the community. Monica explains why people need the opportunity to speak for themselves and why assumptions about what others need can get in the way of meaningful change. Jim and Monica also discuss belonging, racism, fear-based thinking, privilege, immigration narratives, and the c

What if you aren’t broken and don’t need to be “fixed”? In Fishing Without Bait Episode 533, host Jim Ellermeyer welcomes Melissa Carey for Part 1 of a four-part conversation about mindfulness, anxiety, self-awareness, and reconnecting with ourselves. Melissa begins with a powerful reflection on learning to love who she is today. From there, she and Jim explore her belief that we are already whole, even when layers of experience, relationships, expectations, and our own self-talk make that wholeness difficult to recognize. Melissa discusses the anxiety and life transitions that often bring people looking for support and explains why listening is at the heart of her approach. Drawing from her background in music therapy and her work with sound, meditation, breathwork, and energy practices, she shares one deceptively simple starting point: notice your breath. Jim and Melissa also discuss mindfulness during both difficult and positive moments, learning from obstacles, practicing coping tools before a crisis

In Part 3 of our conversation with Austin Cairns, host Jim Ellermeyer explores what Austin has learned from working in professional wrestling and sports broadcasting—and how those experiences connect with the mindfulness principles at the heart of Fishing Without Bait. Austin opens up about the colorful personalities he has encountered in independent wrestling, along with a less glamorous side of the business: tribalism. He discusses the tension that can develop between promotions, the pressure of navigating different groups, and why he believes collaboration can ultimately make wrestling better. The conversation then moves beyond the wrestling ring and into Austin’s expanding broadcasting career. He shares his experience contributing Pittsburgh Steelers reports for radio, reflects on interviewing established Pittsburgh sports broadcasters, and talks about his long-term goal of traveling and working in broadcasting on a larger stage. Jim and Austin also explore changes in sports culture, including NIL, fan

Sometimes the hardest accomplishment to recognize is your own. In Part 2 of Jim Ellermeyer's conversation with sportscaster Austin Cairns, Austin opens up about learning to slow down and appreciate the people, experiences, and accomplishments already in his life. Austin talks about the trusted circle of family and longtime friends who have been there for him and how, especially during college, constantly trying to “go, go, go” could quickly lead to burnout. More recently, he has learned to put down the phone, step away from the computer, spend time with his family, and remember that time may be more valuable than money. The conversation also follows Austin's educational and professional journey from CCAC to Point Park University and into the world of sports broadcasting. He recalls helping create a live charity event at Point Park that combined sports, entertainment, media, and professional wrestling and ultimately raised more than $365,000. But even after accomplishing something that significant, Austin

In Part 1 of our conversation with Austin Cairns, Jim Ellermeyer explores how a shy kid who wasn't sure what he wanted to do began creating a path toward broadcasting. Austin grew up in Carnegie, Pennsylvania, attending a small high school where opportunities could be limited. Then the COVID-19 pandemic arrived during his high school years. Remote learning, isolation, uncertainty, fear for his frontline-worker parents, and spending most of his time at home left Austin feeling increasingly complacent and unsure about what came next. A seemingly ordinary moment with his father changed his perspective. While watching ESPN together, Austin's father told him he could imagine his son working in television. Austin didn't immediately believe him. At the time, he considered himself shy and struggled to imagine speaking comfortably into a microphone, much less appearing on camera. But Austin tried. He started looking for opportunities wherever he could find them. His first announcing experience came introducing hi

Why are we revisiting this episode now? As students head back to school, conversations around social media, young people, screen time, online identity, and mental health are once again dominating the news. Recent legal action involving major social media platforms has also renewed questions about how these spaces are designed and how they affect the people using them. That makes this conversation from Fishing Without Bait Episode 452, originally released January 14, 2025, feel particularly timely. Jim Ellermeyer is joined by Chris Maverick, professor of digital narrative interactive design at the University of Pittsburgh and a former professional wrestler, for a fascinating discussion about storytelling, performance, identity, escapism, and mindfulness. Chris draws a connection between professional wrestling and social media: both involve creating a version of yourself for an audience. The difference is that we usually understand that a professional wrestler is playing a character. On social media, those

What does it actually mean to fish without bait? In Episode 529 of Fishing Without Bait, behavioral health therapist Jim Ellermeyer sits down with Producer Mike for a return to the fundamental ideas that have shaped the podcast through more than 500 episodes. At the center of the conversation is a simple relationship between expectations and serenity: “The greater your expectations, the lower your serenity. The lower your expectations, the greater your serenity.” Jim and Mike explore the difference between setting rigid expectations and setting intentions. An expectation can turn life into a pass/fail exercise where anything short of a particular outcome feels like failure. An intention gives us direction while allowing us to remain present, curious, and responsive to what actually happens. That leads to another question Mike asks himself: “What am I working so hard to get to?” Jim's answer is equally simple: “There is no there.” The conversation expands into emotional honesty and the ways people avoid

What does it actually mean when someone tells us to “be like the Buddha”? In Fishing Without Bait Episode 527, Jim Ellermeyer sits down with longtime co-host and Producer Mike to explore Buddhism not as an unreachable ideal, but as a practical way of approaching everyday life. Being awake doesn't mean being perfect. It means noticing what is happening around us, recognizing what is happening within us, and becoming more intentional about what we do next. That leads Jim and Mike into a discussion about living on autopilot. Jim even brings up the longtime Western swing band Asleep at the Wheel as a playful connection to the idea of “sleepwalking through life.” How many days do we simply go through the motions without really participating? Learn more about Asleep at the Wheel: https://www.asleepatthewheel.com/ The conversation moves through compassion, boundaries, time, emotional reactions, expectations, and the Buddhist “middle path.” Jim reminds us that compassion does not mean becoming a doormat. We can

In Fishing Without Bait 526, we continue our conversation with Vic Costik of the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast. In Part 2, Vic joins Jim Ellermeyer for a thoughtful discussion about identity, community, safety, recovery and the daily work of becoming a more compassionate person. Vic explains why they try to approach ignorance through “neutral inquiry,” beginning with questions rather than immediate confrontation. The conversation examines the experiences of transgender people navigating public spaces, the importance of listening to people when they tell us who they are and the need to create communities in which people feel welcomed rather than merely tolerated. Vic also discusses their commitment to Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ+ community and the fear that has caused some transgender people to leave their homes in search of safer places. That concern helped inspire Vic’s community involvement and ultimately contributed to the creation of New Rust Pittsburgh. Jim and Vic connect these ideas to the principles of 12-ste

In Episode 525 of Fishing Without Bait, Jim Ellermeyer welcomes Vic Costik for Part 1 of a conversation about community, authenticity, connection, and finding the courage to become more fully yourself. Vic is a designer, community advocate, and the creator of New Rust, a podcast exploring Pittsburgh’s transformation through the individual stories of people doing interesting things throughout the city. Growing up surrounded by the enormous crowds of New York City, Vic expected proximity to people to create connection. Instead, it was moving to Pittsburgh that showed him what community could truly feel like. Vic talks with Jim about discovering Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community, building a found family, participating in the city’s creative and wonderfully unusual spaces, and realizing how helping others can create a support network in return. From jam nights and local zines to simply meeting people doing something they care about, Vic explains why Pittsburgh’s smaller communities became so important to him. The

Fishing Without Bait 524 presents the third and final part of Jim Ellermeyer’s conversation with Missy Sorg about political differences, social-media behavior and the possibility of maintaining meaningful relationships with people who do not share our beliefs. Rather than trying to win a debate, Jim and Missy examine what happens when people listen to respond instead of listening to learn. They discuss the echo chambers created by social media, the pressure to react immediately and the assumptions people make based on political labels. Jim introduces the space between stimulus and response as the place where choice and freedom can be found. Missy speaks candidly about her experiences working with Republican candidates and organizations. She explains why she does not automatically block every hostile commenter, how she decides when a response crosses the line and what can happen when community members answer an argument with research and supporting information. She also shares a personal story about telling

In Episode 523 of Fishing Without Bait, we continue our conversation with Missy Sorg in Part 2 of a thoughtful and challenging discussion about politics, responsibility, family support, and respectful disagreement. Missy and Jim Ellermeyer begin by examining the complicated realities surrounding abortion and the question of what happens after a child is born. Their conversation moves beyond political slogans to consider infertility, adoption, foster care, support systems, special-needs care, financial responsibility, and the difficult decisions families may face. Missy shares personal experiences that have shaped her perspective, including going through infertility treatments and seeing family members navigate teenage pregnancy and lifelong care needs. The discussion asks whether society is doing enough to educate young people about consequences, critical thinking, emotional decision-making, and personal responsibility. The conversation then expands into voter education and representative government. Drawi

In Fishing Without Bait 522, Jim Ellermeyer begins a new conversation with Missy Sorg about one of the most difficult challenges many people face today: how to stay connected when political differences feel personal, painful, and divisive. Missy shares why she wanted to return to the show and talk openly about strained friendships, lost connections, and the fear of being reduced to a political label. Jim and Missy explore the idea that even when people disagree, there may still be a shared “ice cream” — a common point of connection that allows a real conversation to begin. This Part 1 episode moves through themes of political polarization, patriotism, social media, assumptions, “contempt prior to investigation,” and the need to focus less on identifying problems and more on finding solutions. Missy also opens up about women’s health, fertility treatments, abortion, birth control, and the way women’s bodies are often discussed or legislated without enough listening or understanding. Rather than a shouting m

In Fishing Without Bait 521, we conclude our four-part conversation with returning guests Eamon and Merlin, hosts of A Gay and His Enby. This final part brings the discussion into questions of faith, culture, identity, queer history, personal freedom, and the importance of community. Jim, Eamon, and Merlin talk about the many ways people interpret the divine, how history and education shape understanding, and why queer and trans people have always been part of humanity. The conversation also turns toward Pittsburgh, where Eamon and Merlin reflect on how their lives, relationship, podcast, and voices have grown over the past several years. They share what it means to find community, create space for others, speak with empathy, and stay curious about the lives and experiences of people around us. For anyone struggling with fear, uncertainty, identity, or belonging, this episode offers a compassionate reminder: you do not have to figure it all out today. There will be people who accept you exactly as you are,