This Jungian Life

We all shed tears. We cry when we are sad, but also when we are glad, surprised by beauty, love, or touched by other deeply felt and uniquely human experiences. Tears, and our access to them, are part of what makes us human, and when we cannot find our tears we have lost a vital link to feeling, whether for another or a part of ourselves. In their negative aspect, tears can signify the falseness of crocodile tears or affective hardening and bitterness; teardrop tattoos represent experiences of violence. In this episode Deb, Lisa and Joseph circumambulate various aspects of the significance of tears, using the touchstones of fairy tales, alchemy, myth, religion and more to uncover the importance of tears, especially in their redemptive, or whole-making, aspect.   Dream: I was a prince in a European kingdom in the Middle Ages. I was gathered with the royal family in a small but lavish room of our castle. The kingdom was suffering due to the ineptitude, corruption, and libertinism of the royal family. One prince

We can experience powerful feelings of empathy for those who are victims of trauma in all its heartbreaking dimensions. It is difficult even to consider a shadow side to this already dark aspect of human experience. Nevertheless, it is important also to consider the difference between lived experiences of victimization and meaning-making narratives that not only can become calcified, but self-reinforcing. If entrenched, narratives of victimization can become part of one’s identity and suppress life energy. Lisa, Deb and Joseph differentiate the emotions involved in suffering, mourning and acceptance from more reified states of powerlessness. They describe how the presence of a wisely witnessing other can help with healing, empowerment, and finding the path ahead to a more liberated sense of self. Dream I am being held in a prison against my will and I am sharing a cell with a male colleague from work. The cell is very cold and silent. The whole place feels very sterile. When I look out of the window, I realiz

Individuation, the central concept of Jung’s psychology, is the foundational image and aspiration of Jungian psychoanalysis – and life. It is the theme of many a fairy tale, the sought-for treasure of a quest, and the “juice” that makes symbols compelling. Individuation has an innate developmental arc and a psychological trajectory that allows us to bring conscious intention to our own individuation process. However, vital transformational events are not simply occurrences ego alone can command; they are ultimately mysterious. They arise independently from the unconscious and what Jung termed the Self, the center, circumference and true center of the personality. In this episode Joseph, Lisa and Deb circumambulate and amplify the concept of individuation and images of the Self.   The Dream: In the beginning of the dream, it's morning. I'm waiting for my father in the house where I grew up. We are about to drive halfway across the country to look at graduate schools. It is nearing afternoon and we still haven'

Images of physical dismemberment are often used in fairy tales, dreams and art to depict psychological fragmentation, numbing and other forms of disconnection. Such cut-offs, dissociations, and splits may be related to earlier relational trauma, and constitute defenses against experiences perceived as too overwhelming for consciousness to absorb or even acknowledge. Experience can be dissociated, or dismembered, behaviorally, emotionally, bodily, and by denying memory or knowledge of events. Jungian Analyst Donald Kalsched posits an inner dynamic that is both protective and persecutory. Such understandings can point the way to a healing process of re-membering those parts that have been cut off, thereby giving disowned feelings and experiences a fully felt place in consciousness. The Dream "In this dream, I remember being in a building that reminded me of a hospital or perhaps an asylum. It was very clinical looking (i.e. lots of steel and glass, white and silver walls / trim, people in smocks or scrubs). I w

Anything that disappears from your psychological inventory is apt to turn up in the guise of a hostile neighbor, who will inevitably arouse your anger and make you aggressive. It is surely better to know that your worst enemy is right there in your own heart. ~CG Jung, Vol 10, para 456   Very often the ego experiences a vague feeling of moral defeat and then behaves all the more defensively, defiantly, and self-righteously, thus setting up a vicious circle which only increases its feeling of inferiority. ~CG Jung Vol 9ii, para 34   We all take offense, from feeling miffed at a thoughtless but cutting comment to being suffused with righteous rage. Others may fail to meet our expectations, agree with deep values, or hold us in positive regard. These experiences can spark effective and defensive reactions, since what offends us often lies in our shadow and is incompatible with how we wish to be perceived. Taking offense also occurs at a cultural level. “Offenders” can be publicly excoriated, exiled from a group

In this episode, the archetype of the bitch is explored using fairy tales, mythology, and popular culture to shed light on this colloquial, pejorative term. The term is applied most frequently to assertive women - and to men acting in a way deemed "feminine" - who are either not sufficiently in touch with their own authentic power or seem overly invested in power dynamics. What is the secret of authentic feminine power?   We reference the myths of Cassandra, Persephone, Inanna, The Frog Prince (Grimm), and The Devil Wears Prada (film), Spirited Away (film), Boys in the Band (film).   The Dream: "I’m walking into a room in which there’s a group of men standing around a table, most of them are looking intently at it. I see there is a map spread across the table. One of the men looks up from it, and nods toward the table, inviting me to take a closer look. In the middle of the map, there’s a round symbol I’ve never seen before, and this is what has the group so rapt. I’m not sure what it is, but I get the sense

Having mixed feelings, or strongly opposing feelings is a normal occurrence in human life. We can find ourselves in a quandary about big decisions, upcoming life events, or experience being stuck without quite knowing why. Deb, Joseph, and Lisa consider various facets of ambivalence: anxiety around foreclosing options and missing out fear of regret over a possible wrong choice, or inability to raise complexes and shadow elements into consciousness. All aspects of the personality need to be allowed to dialogue and have it out with one another. Instead of complicating matters and adding to stasis, this process releases energy for movement in life. We can come to accept the certainty of uncertainty—and find our life-giving psychic wellsprings.   The Dream: I was walking on a cobbled street looking for a store where honey was sold. I was looking for honey to heal (however, I don't know what was that I needed to heal). I entered into the store through what seemed to be the back door. Inside, I saw wooden shelves w

This episode, inspired by the new album by the Korean band BTS, explains and amplifies the Jungian concept of the persona. Like the cornea of the eye, persona both shields us and makes opening up to the world possible. In ancient Greek theater, the actors wore masks that identified their roles, or personae. Similarly, we adjust our outward presentation to others according to the appropriate roles we play in the workplace, with neighbors, or close friends and family. A persona that is too rigid can give one a center that is too determined by outside values and influences; a persona that is not solid enough can result in poor adaptation to the outer world or one that can be swept away by incursions from the unconscious. Altogether the persona is the social archetype and represents a compromise between adaption to social realities and individuality.    The Dream: My wife and I are in a kitchen, or someplace with wooden cabinets and soffits, and wooden counters. It might not be a kitchen. There’s this large woode

The personal shadow is created as a normal part of development, as we learn what behaviors, values and feelings are not acceptable in our family, school, or religious tradition. In order to be accepted by needed significant others, parts of ourselves have to be split off from consciousness and are therefore relegated to the unconscious as shadow. A major part of becoming more whole is discovering these exiled parts of ourselves and integrating the feelings they carry. Deb, Lisa and Joseph discuss some of the ways that shadow can be confronted and given a place at the table of consciousness.   The Dream: I’m in my Dad’s wood shop, in the basement of the home where I grew up. I need to unscrew a panel on a metal box, and I’m finding the right screwdriver. The first one I pick up is too small, Mom hands me a better-sized one, a Phillips head with four fins. Somehow it is a very large size, and I notice the fins on the head are rusty. I sand away some of the rust on one of the fins, but when I come to the second,

People who are chronically late create relational problems with others and generate negative consequences for themselves, from embarrassment and guilt to loss of friendships or jobs. Chronic lateness evidences a split between consciousness and the unconscious: while the ego may feel distressed about lateness, the unconscious may be expressing an unmet need and deriving a benefit from lateness. That is why self-help strategies such as setting multiple alarm clocks and allowing extra time for travel seldom solve the problem of chronic lateness or feel satisfying. Lisa, Joseph, and Deb discuss possible unconscious motivations for lateness, including its role as an inelegant effort at individuation. The dream: I begin the dream in a giant mall-like building. It stretches as far as I can see. There are no stores or other people. There are only dozens of escalators at different levels leading different places, much like a multi-story maze. I find the place exciting in its expanse. I next find myself leaving the bui

One of the issues clients bring into the therapeutic consulting room is dissatisfaction with the state of their marriage or partnership. Although this dilemma often takes shape as bipolar, it represents a challenge to engagement with deep, defended parts of self and relationship. Joseph, Lisa and Deb make it clear they are not focusing on issues like abuse or addiction, but the more subtle yet substantial ways in which people can feel dissatisfied. Partners often hold deep aspects of the other’s shadow; for example, if one person has a fear of abandonment the other may have an equally strong fear of engulfment. They discuss stages of marriage / partnership, from romantic to parenting to empty nest, and the ongoing need for evolving relational awareness, especially in discerning the difference between individual complexes and relational problems.   The Dream: I feel chunks missing from my molars on the bottom left, and spit it out into my hand, It’s three pieces of different teeth plus one full tooth. I look i

Listeners contributed examples of precognitive dreams for this episode. Lisa, Joseph, and Deb discuss theoretical concepts and listener dreams from various vantage points: the intuitive capacity of the unconscious, the synchronous intersection of matter and psyche, and activation of an archetype. These and other ways of knowing are beyond the scope of ego and call us to the realization that the ego, as Jung said, is a part of and connected to something larger that is ultimately mysterious. Jung compared this process to the plants called rhizomes. Their horizontal underground stems which put out lateral shoots and flowers that pop up, as into consciousness, at various intervals. Jung also likened precognition to weather forecasting, likely possibilities subject to a variety of manifestations. Listeners’ Precognitive Dreams Discussed (not necessarily in order) I was at a Subway (sandwich shop) and I was buying a $5 Footlong (sandwich). When I was checking out the person at the register said my total was $11.20

Lisa, Joseph, and Deb explore and explain what the analytic process is like for them as they work with clients. Deb describes her interactions with clients using a rectangular diagram that, like the Scottish flag, traces lines going from the two upper corners to the two lower corners. This represents the multi-directional flow of energy in the session between the conscious and unconscious contents of both people. The analytic process is also likened to a chemical reaction in which both people are changed - referencing alchemical images that Jung used, it’s compared to two people sitting in a bath together. These are all ways of illustrating that the process of analytic therapy is as important to the analyst as it is to the client. The Dream: I was sitting on the steps of a big old brick building in a small town. It seemed like a quaint old fashioned town. The day was warm and sunny. I was upset about something and my therapist was standing in front of me. I can't remember what I was telling her, but as she st

Everyone shops—we have access to an astonishing choice of products. Internet shopping has multiplied our range of options beyond what nearby retail stores may have to offer. Desired items range from mountain climbing trucks to gold jewelry to highly specialized cookware items. What are we seeking for our inner selves as we shop for outer objects? For some, utilitarian objects carry libido, whereas for others shopping is an aesthetic, adventurous, relational, or aspirational experience. Joseph, Deb and Lisa explore the possible personal meanings of shopping.   The Dream: Winter. I'm in a remote cabin with a group of young people. Cabin is old and empty, with holes in the walls, and freezing drafts going back and forth. I feel terribly out of place, unsure who are these young people, and why I'm here with them, in this god forsaken place. Under the floor we find a frozen body of an old man: white beard, white hair, calm face as if in deep contemplation. We don't know who he is. Suddenly, a swarm of reptiles com

Preoccupation and obsession with food–a condition called orthorexia--can take the form of the quest for health and purity, with rigid rules about food categories, such as the need for all-organic ingredients or omitting food groups such as dairy, sugar, and gluten in the absence of identified physiological intolerances. This overall effort to banish anxiety can take the form of an implicit bargain (eating “right” guarantees health), a strong need for ego control, elitism, specific community values, and banishing shadow by projecting it onto “bad” foods. The person may be also be seeking connection with the archetypal, or religious realm that has become concretized around food. The Dream: I am in a large multilevel food court in a mall which is very empty. I'm carrying a tray of food and I'm looking for my mom who I know is somewhere in the food court and I want to sit and eat with her. As I walk through the food court I become distracted looking at the food stalls. One stall, in particular, catches my attenti

Estrangement from members of one’s family and others takes place far more often than seems commonly acknowledged. Estrangement involves psychologically cutting-off, repressing, and defending against connection with another who has come to be experienced as “all bad.” People may move away geographically, refuse to talk to a certain person, or simply give someone the “cold shoulder.” Joseph, Lisa and Deb discuss the importance of setting appropriate boundaries with others and understanding that estrangement is also an internal phenomenon. The Dream: I see a middle-aged man fixing a fence.  The dogs that are in the yard with him are behaved -- they are not trying to go through the big opening in the fence.  Then the man is inside a house fixing the trim on a wooden doorway. I "know" him -- and I ask, "Will you treat me?" There is a deep feeling of acceptance and he says, "We will start tomorrow." I go off to get ready for tomorrow.

As Jung well knew, eros – love – is an essential part of the analytic process. In Vol. 16 of his Collected Works Jung used alchemical images of a king and queen to illustrate the various ways in which erotic feeling can enter the consulting room. The safety of a time-limited, fee-based relationship is important to allow a full range of feelings and fantasies to be admitted into consciousness without being enacted. Idealizing and erotic feelings for another can pave the way to finding one’s center in oneself. The Dream: "I was some kid, with a family. The family left me out of some event, and then they went on a hot-air balloon trip without me. After returning, when I complain, the mother announces that I'm "ready" for it, and prepares to have intercourse with me. But just then, her upper body turns into a giant snake and moved to devour me. And that woke me up." Link to the Rosarium Images

Many a fairy tale features hiding as a strategic defense.  Jack, of beanstalk fame, hides from the giant in order to survive and discover his treasure. We often hide when we feel small and life events and people feel big. Hiding can be a conscious decision, whether for fun, as in the game of hide and seek, or out of necessity, as Anne Frank’s family’s had to do. Hiding can also be an unconscious phenomenon, particularly if there has been trauma, in order to protect the inviolable life of the soul. How, then, does an individual come out of hiding to discover him- or herself?   The Dream: I was on a mountain trip in a van driven by a man with dreadlocks. He was driving myself and some others high up on the mountainside. It was a beautiful and clear winter day. I suddenly had a feeling that we were going to crash. It was a very windy road and he was driving so fast that he couldn't make the hairpin turn. We flew off the road and into mid-air. Life was suddenly in slow motion and I thought I should try to call my

With “The Wall” very much in the forefront of national discussion, Deb, Lisa and Joseph reflect on the archetype of walls. Some may be stonewalls simply marking boundaries between neighbors. Others may be massive defenses like the Great Wall of China. What do walls keep out – or keep in? What do we need to create necessary separation, and what walls off connection with our own shadow that may be projected onto immigrants. When we focus on building a wall, do we neglect our internal infrastructure, health care and education—and eventually shut down our government? This discussion explores parallels between external and internal walls. The Dream: I am in my parents’ home and preparing to sleep, when I feel scared and I see through window just shining eyes looking at me from dark. I come closer and open the terrace door and I see an old lady, and I start yelling at her and waving with my hands to make her go. I want to scream but I have no voice and then my partner wakes me up. I was lying in bed, feeling scared

Football is a uniquely American sport with millions of fans, heroic teams, and stadiums reminiscent of colosseums. As the Super Bowl approaches – television’s most watched show – Lisa, Joseph and Deb consider the archetypal underpinnings that contribute to making football America’s most watched sport. They consider the light and dark sides of fandom, the hero’s journey, the battleground, and more.   The Dream: For some reason, I brought kitty litter to the bathroom -- it was not for a cat (since I don't have one anymore) but had some other purpose. Well, as soon as I put it down, my (former) cat, Smoky immediately ran into it. I was surprised to see her, since she's been gone (dead) for years. But she was right there and obviously needed to use the litter urgently. I had the impulse to pull her away, but held back, realizing that she needs to use the bathroom and it's really important not to disturb her in doing that. Then, as I was watching her in the litter box, I saw that she was wrestling with a mouse. As