Slothman Prophecies Podcast

Plug your nostrils and hide your dogs, Viewers! Justin has returned from his near-death experience with the Fruity Yummy Mummy to talk about the new Robert the Doll movie, mascot naming etiquette, and the mating habits of bugs on his screen door. We also talk about how a brave dog, a cool mom, and a bunch of mostly unsupervised boys had an unpleasant run in with some aircraft beacons, fog, and a very stinky owl. Or was it something altogether spookier? Come learn all about the Flatwoods Monster in Episode 25: The Braxton County Stinky Owl Incident!

Happy Labour Day Viewers! In this episode Katie and Carl discuss state trees, 2-ply versus 3-ply, and leather-bound books! Also the Tiny Coffins of Arthur's Seat a.k.a. the Edinburgh Murder Dolls. Come find out why it's a bad idea to let unaccompanied minors anywhere near a brace of coneys in Episode 24: Tiny Coffins Tiny Pants!

Greetings Viewers! Come listen to the voices of Carl and Katie as they take a journey from suspected german spies to giant piezoelectric crystals to government experiments to the Ashtar Galactic Command! Plus we sing Cher. Come learn about the improbably intertwined tales of Frank Critzer, George Van Tassel, Giant Rock, Operation Tumbler-Snapper, The 1952 Washington DC UFO Flap, and the 1977 Southern Television Broadcast Interuption! Oh, and don't forget THE INTEGRATRON!!! It's Episode 23: Between A Rock And Ashtar Place!

Aloha, Viewers! Come join us as Katie sings Blue Christmas, Carl accidentally reveals his biggest fear, and we give Johnny Depp unsolicited advice about his love life! We also come to the end of our two-parter on Elvis. Is he alive? Is he Orion? Was he in Home Alone? Find the answers (maybe) to all these questions and more in Episode 22: The King of Conspiracies Part 2 - Signature Tilt!

It's now or never, Viewers. In this episode, my lovely wife Katie joins me to discuss the King of all conspiracies: The "Death" of the King of Rock n' Roll. We jiggle our way through the MANY timelines of August 16, 1977, the "autopsy" of "Elvis", his...credentials..., and how hard J. Edgar Hoover tried not to meet him. Plus more than you ever wanted to know about how to spell Aaron (or is it Aron?!) Don't be cruel, come join us for Episode 21: The King of Conspiracies Part I - The Bathroom Shag!

Avast ye Viewers! It's our twentieth episode! And in honor of ourselves, in this episode my lovely wife Katie helps me kick off our inaugural First In Fright, a compilation of North Carolina legends, ghost stories, and weird stuff that we will occasionally dip back into when I'm running low on topics. In this one, we tell the tales of the Boojum, Sop Doll Sop, and the Haunting of Teach's Hole. You read that correctly. Its a marital menagerie of myths, murder, and mayhem in Episode 20: First In Fright: Boojum & Teach's Hole!

Good news and bad news viewers: The bad news is, Justin has gone missing. The good news is this week I'm joined by my lovely wife Katie! You belong with us as we discuss Scottish Fold kittens, the Church of Satan, and the queen of Bad Blood herself, Taylor Swift! Turn on, tune in, drop out, and shake it off for Episode 19: Trailer Swift!

Whodunnit?!? Join us as Justin decides who should take the down elevator, Carl gets scared in a bunk-bed, and we find out which one of us hasn't showered in a week! Its suspect time in Episode 18: Hinterkaifeck Part 2 - Hay Fever!

In this über-creepy true crime episode, Justin eagerly awaits The Snap, Carl builds a bridge (don't get too excited, it's not a drawbridge), and we learn all about that sweet sweet goose-butter. We also talk about one of the most mysterious, eerie, and unsolved murder cases ever in Episode 17: Hinterkaifeck Part 1 - Motorenhütte!

In this episode Carl does a spot-on impression of Bill Hader, Kristen sneezes, and Justin regales us with an epic tale of fence-staining. Also, we talk about the Curse of Little Bastard! Do you love Rob Zombie? Do you love The Sims? Somehow we also talk about those things in Episode 16: Jimmy & The Hotrods!

Need a few tips on how to get thrown out of Area 51? Don't worry, here's Episode 15: Lazar Pointers! On this one we talk (for too long) about crossing the 1000 download mark, Justin expresses his love for confrontational Youtube videos, and dig deep into the big, steaming pile of controversy that is the story of Bob Lazar. So hop in your Jet Car and fuel up with some Moscovium as we pander to the audience in: Episode 15: Lazar Pointers!

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law! Unless you piss off Jimmy Page that is. Join us as we both thank and rebuke SuperFan Joey for sending us a haunted doll, we invent a new cocktail called the Willrow Hood, and Carl drinks several of them. Also, we go over the tale of Eddie & The Hotrods, the most famous band you've never heard of, and how Aleister Crowley, Boleskine House, and Jimmy Page combine to make sure they can't, in fact, do anything they wanna do.

Justin takes the lead on this episode to bring you heroic ice cream rescue, Dave Coulier revelations, and a sports conspiracy! Was the 1985 NBA draft rigged? Of course it was. But come listen to Justin explain how, in Episode 13: The 1985 New York Fix!

Howdy Viewers! Sorry for buzzfeeding you so hard, but we're finally finishing it! Join us as Producer Cathulhu tells us its dinner-time, we learn about Jägermeisters, and Justin explains homeowner's insurance in Episode 12: The Other Five Haunted Paintings You Need To See To Believe [Part 2]!

Gee golly gee whiz are you in for a treat, Viewers. This week Justin and I read our heaps (five or six) of gmails and then play a very special recording for you. We gathered our four best friends/wives together for a Memorial Day Weekend Party/Test of our psychic abilities, and the results may shock you. Grab a pen and paper and join myself, Justin, Katie, Kristen, JT, and David in Episode 11: Zener and the Art of Administrative Maintenance!

In this episode we tell you about Walter, Justin watches a scary movie, and we get OUR FIRST GMAIL! Also we talk about 5 [allegedly] haunted and/or cursed paintings. Can you feel it coming back again, like a rolling thunder chasing the wind? It's Episode 10: Five Creepy Paintings You Must See To Believe [Part 1]!

In this episode, Justin makes contact with our Tulpa, Groot Brute, Carl eats cough drops, and we talk about Crusader Kings 2 [A LOT]. We also discuss the mysterious death of Amy Robsart, whose husband [yet another Robert] might have been Queen Elizabeth's special boy toy. Accident? Murder? Is Beyonce secretly Solange's mom? Find out in Episode 9: How Dirty Was Amy Robsart's Assize?

In this episode we still don't have any emails, Justin eats watermelon, and we make a pact to become Chocolate Vampires together! We also learn about Tulpas. Come help us summon a hot-pink thoughtform brain ghost in Episode 8: Di Chuut 'Bout Groot Brute!

In this episode Carl is sick, we sing Cher, we blow the Gumlog County Wikipedia Conspiracy wide open! We also talk about Space Penguins. Hot sauce and Hallelujah! It's Episode 7: The Mississippi Regular Crawdaddy Revival!

In this muy especial episode, Justin reads in Patois, Carl gives away a million dollar idea for robot pirates, and we all hear some of the spookiest stories from south of the border! Come celebrate Cinco de Mayo with us in Episode 6: Tequila Mockingbird!