On The Wetcoast Podcast

Sex, particularly kinky sex, is still a taboo subject in our sex negative culture. We're not supposed to talk about it so we don't learn good communication skills around it. It's one of those things that is supposed to just kinda happen. We hang onto a lot of the messages we got about sex growing up and even those of us who consider ourselves very open about our sexuality still retain many of the hangups and shame feelings. Learning to talk about what we want in the bedroom from the most vanilla of acts (vanilla is a delicious flavour, by the way) to the most deliciously deviant kinky acts we can think of can benefit us in many unexpected ways. When we learn to ask for what we want, we sometimes even get it. On this episode of On The Wet Coast Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are joined by Stella Harris (@stellaerotica), intimacy educator and sex coach, author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. Buy on Amazon   Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions

Click-baity title aside, many people would like to figure out how to get more sex and better sex in their lives. It's not a priority for everyone, and isn't required to be, but for those who are looking to get more sex in their lives, it can be a struggle. We're here to tell you it doesn't have to be. Reinterpreting what sex is can be a big and helpful start down the path to more sex. As well, reinterpreting what you're looking for in a sexual encounter can help you figure out how to get your needs met beyond any specific set of acts. It isn't always 'insert tab A in slot B' that we want from sex (though sometimes it is and that is also legitimate). Sometimes what we want is a sense of connection or physical intimacy that can be met in more ways than we think. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark discuss How to Have More (and Better) Sex. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoast

Ideally, when we’re meeting, dating, and sexing on people we want to be our best selves. We want to be feeling stable and settled and able to be present and focused for all the newness that might be coming our way. Unfortunately, circumstances are almost never ideal. Life constantly hits us with the unexpected--job loss, divorce, moving house, issues with kids, health issues, mental health issues, breakups--the list goes on and on. Much of the time we need to figure out how to compartmentalize our other life issues so that we can open our hearts to new people and new experiences. That is way easier said than done, and not really that easy to say. In non-monogamy, we often have concurrent partners and heartbreak and it can be really tough to figure out how to grieve a relationship while maintaining or building another. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat are joined by Dirty Lola of Sex Ed A Go Go to discuss Dating During Upheaval. We’ll try to figure out how to maintain your mojo while your life

Nearly everyone we know claims to be bad at flirting, the two of us included, but somehow many of us are scoring dates and getting laid. How do we get over our own brains to send that first message or turn a chat into something sexy and sassy? And once we're in a sexy space, how do we wrap our heads around talking dirty. There's an art to knowing when to push a conversation to a sexy place or leave an opening for someone else to do so and when to leave it respectfully platonic. And as it turns out, talking dirty can be a lot easier than you think. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat, plus special guests Wes and Raina, discuss the whens, wheres, and hows of Flirting, Sexting, and Dirty Talk. *Please note that our Dirty Talk episode also contains some dirty audio. There's some audio distortion that crops up during episode that we were able to reduce but not fully remove. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthew

Endless amounts of research has been done on the topic of love and relationships - generally focused on the heteronormative pair bonding that is the norm in our western culture. A few books such as Sex at Dawn and Mating in Captivity have been the go to tomes for the non-monogamous looking for science that backs up our choice of lifestyle. Author Brenda Wiebe has written Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack my Love Life. She uses her skills as a researcher of sociology and anthropology to write a review of different relationship patterns throughout human history in combination with her own intimate journal entries that document her personal journey from marriage, through divorce, heartbreak, and into polyamory. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison are joined by Brenda Wiebe to discuss Non-Monogamy and SCIENCE! Get more of Brenda on her website NonMonogBlog and buy her book on Amazon. Follow her on Twitter @blwiebe69 Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast

Attraction is a mysterious thing. There are physical and personality characteristics in people we're almost always attracted to: perhaps a certain body type or sense of humour. Other times it can be harder to nail down why a certain person hits all the yes buttons for you, or what makes us override our usual "dealbreakers". They could be completely different than what normally gets you going and if you lined up 5 similar people, you might not feel anything for any of the others. Attraction can even be situational. You can find yourself interested in someone in a certain time and place when they wouldn't have the same appeal in others. Whether it's biology and pheromones, cultural influence, or personality, there are myriad factors at play in who we find attractive. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk Attraction. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Many of us in non-monogamy land started out in monogamous relationships. Not necessarily because those were right for us, but because they were the default. We didn’t even know that there were other relationship options. Once we start exploring ethical non-monogamy we discover countless variations on the big 3: SwInger, Open, Polyamory. Some people have strict definitions of what each of those relationship styles has to look like but almost everyone we’ve met in non-monogamy has their own take. Turns out, when you shed the societal expectations of what relationships are meant to look like, you can pick & choose what elements work best for you. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick & Kat are joined by Dr. Liz Powell, Psychologist & relationship coach, to discuss Building Your Ideal Relationship. Get more Dr. Liz sexpositivepsych.com and on Twitter @sexpospsych. Buy Kat's new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoas

Fantasizing is big part of most healthy sex lives. We fantasize about things we’d like to have done to us and/or what we’d like to do to others. We also fantasize about things that scare, horrify, or even kind of (or completely) disgust us. All these things are part of healthy sexual brain activity. “Is this normal?” is a question about fantasies that comes up a lot in advice columns. The answer is yes, in that abnormality is completely normal when it comes to fantasy scenarios. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat & Flick talk Fantasies. How they can benefit your sex life, good ways to share them with your partner(s), and shaking off the shame of your less comfortable fantasies. We’ll share some of our own, and we’ll even share some that listeners have submitted to us. Buy Kat's brand new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and

 Butt stuff! It’s not just anal sex anymore, but a whole spectrum of ass play. What’s the appeal and the fascination? In our lifetime, it’s gone from being a secret perversion to borderline mainstream, referenced and discussed in pop culture both frankly and humorously. And some people feel increasingly pressured to make anal sex part of their repertoire without even knowing if they really want to, let alone knowing how to do it safely and pleasurably. Today On the Wet Coast Flick Morrison & Kat Stark discuss the why’s and what’s of butt stuff. Buy Kat's brand new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Other books mentioned in the episode: Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women - by Tristan Taormino Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure - Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCo

We on the Wet Coast are huge fans of sex toys. We have a large collection and use them regularly both in solo play and with our partners. We've tried a lot of different things and have learned through extensive trial and error what types of toys work best for us, since not every toy works for every body. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick talk about sex toys. How to find the best toys for you and how to integrate toys into your sexytimes with others. Buy Kat's brand new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm   Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea Episode music -

Getting things started is not always easy. Sending that first message on a dating site. Putting yourself out there with your romantic or sexy interest. Asking for that first kiss. Or even knowing how to flip that switch from social time to sexytime in a dating scenario - or play party. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat Stark are discussing Getting Things Started. We'll share a few tips and pointers of things that have worked for us in the past, and where things can go wrong. Exciting news: Buy Kat's brand new book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com The rules for Strip High/Low are here on OnTheWetCoast.com Carsie Blanton's Kickstarter The F'in Truth is here Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK  Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts o

Like so many things in our lives, non-monogamous activity can be cyclical. There are times when we're out there dating a ton and boning all the sexy people, when we have the time and energy to enjoy the sexy connections we have made and will make. Yet there are other times when we need to pull back for a myriad of reasons, when time or energy are at a premium, and we need to do less. When the cycle comes 'round again, you'll be more likely to be ready to jump back on the express train to sexytown.

People whose identities don't conform to the norms within a community often feel isolated from that community. Figuring out how to fit in when you don't hew to the line of a group is an incredible challenge.

Not every relationship lasts forever--Whaaa?--turns out that happily ever after was kind of a fraudulent bill of goods we were sold as kids watching Disney movies. Relationships end or sometimes transition into subtly or entirely different forms. Tonight On The Wet Coast, Flick and I (Kat Stark) are discussing Impermanence, Breakups, and Relationship Transitions. Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK @OnTheWetCoast Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea -http://www.premiumbeat.com/royalty_free_music/songs/a-naked-gun-bank-assault?auto Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere -http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lee_Rosevere/Music_For_Podcasts_2/Lee_Rosevere_-_Music_for

Sexy Vacations can be one of the incredibly fun perks of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Going to different cities and countries is always amazing, but going to different places and having sex with people: that takes the amazing factor up to a whole new level. From hitting up locals via a dating site to visiting loves & sexyfriends in their cities to conferences to hotel takeovers to full-on swinger resorts, sexy holidays--or fuckations--run a huge fun spectrum. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, we've got Cooper Beckett from Life on the Swingset here to discuss sexy vacations and his newly released book Approaching the Swingularity that is set in a steamy vacation paradise. Buy his book(s) at CooperSBeckett.com - code wetcoast at checkout to save 10% Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK @CooperSBeckett Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewe

In this episode of the On The Wet Coast podcast, we examine our experiences of public bisexuality through exhibitionism and how it relates to the male gaze, being good allies and supporting those more marginalized than us in the new political climate, and the pros and cons of doing the work of emotional labour in our complex array of relationships. In part one of Female Relationships, Dawn Ardent and I discussed the complexities of female relationships in non-monogamy, shaking off the internalized competition we were socialized to associate with other women, and how honestly communicating fears and boundaries can help heal the breaks that insecurity and jealousy can create. We also hated on a couple mean girls from our past. In our defence, they were so mean! And made our junior high school experiences pretty hellish. Check out our Cool Girl Bingo card (huge props to Dawn for creating this for us) here: https://assets.libsyn.com/secure/show/82614/cool_girl_bingo_card.jpg Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @

The relationships between women in non-monogamy are rarely discussed other than that bisexual babes are hot together. Women have been taught to compete & struggle against even our closest female friends so how can we connect when there are people we love openly together? And how does it work when we're into each other too? The complicated dynamics that come from sharing partners as well as the grey area that is often present between metamour and partner (something Kat's come to call metaMORE) are part of we discuss on this episode of On The Wet Coast. We also chat about how essential honest communication is, and how the myth of the 'cool girl' messes all of us up. And since there was so much to talk about, there's even more in a second part of this discussion that will follow in the next episode. Special guest Dawn Ardent joins Kat Stark Check out our Cool Girl Bingo card (huge props to Dawn for creating this for us) here: https://assets.libsyn.com/secure/show/82614/cool_girl_bingo_card.jpg Follow us on

One of the exceedingly fun features of non-monogamy can be group sex. Sexy, sweaty bodies writhing in a naked pile can be an outstanding experience, but it's not without complications. There are different things to take into consideration whether you're navigating a threesome, foursome, fivesome or six plus orgy. On this episode of On The Wet Coast we're discussing Group Sex: Threesomes, Foursomes, Moresomes, and the amazing orgy. Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea -http://www.premiumbeat.com/royalty_free_music/songs/a-naked-gun-bank-assault?auto Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere -http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lee_

One of the exceedingly fun features of non-monogamy can be group sex. Sexy, sweaty bodies writhing in a naked pile can be an outstanding experience, but it's not without complications. There are different things to take into consideration whether you're navigating a threesome, foursome, fivesome or six plus orgy. On this episode of On The Wet Coast we're discussing Group Sex. What do you need to think about to have these sexy experiences go as smoothly as possible? What pitfalls can turn a group scene into a disaster? What risk-aware sex practices do you need to have in place? And no, we haven't forgotten the fun, what kinds of crazy shenanigans can you experience in group play? Gin Titonic Recipe: Mix over ice 2 oz Gin 6-8 oz Tonic Water Scoop Lemon or Lime or ?? Sorbet   Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast

All relationships require communication, but good communication is even more essential in ethically non-monogamous relationships where multiple people's needs and wants intersect. Each partnership has its own needs & rules for disclosure. How & when to make new information known can be one of the big challenges in non-monogamy, especially when saddled with baggage from monogamous upbringing. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat & Flick talk Disclosure   Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to [email protected] Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea -http://www.premiumbeat.com/royalty_free_music/songs/a-naked-gun-bank-assault?auto Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere -http://free