Taking Control: The Adhd Podcast

Friendship. It’s a word that evokes warmth, nostalgia, and—if we’re honest—a twinge of confusion. Because once upon a time, it was effortless. A shared lunch, a game of tag, and suddenly, a best friend was born. But then, something happened. Adulthood. And with it came the slow realization that making and keeping friends isn’t just harder—it’s an entirely different proposition.We've heard the lamentations before: Why is this so difficult? Why do friendships slip away? Why does it feel like rejection when it’s just… life? Enter Caroline Maguire. She is no stranger to the complexities of human connection. A coach, a teacher, and the award-winning author of Why Will No One Play with Me?, Caroline has made it her life’s work to decode the unspoken rules of friendship—especially for those with ADHD.Today, she returns to the podcast with answers and a roadmap. What if the secret to adult friendships isn’t just about finding the right people, but about understanding the invisible structures that hold relationships t

What if the very quality that makes those early, intoxicating moments of romance so vibrant—the spontaneous weekend getaway, the surprise bouquet of flowers—later becomes the source of relationship friction? The human brain, particularly one wired with ADHD, contains multitudes of contradictions, and nowhere is this more evident than in how impulsivity shapes our intimate partnerships.This week on the show, relationship expert Melissa Orlov peels back the layers of impulsive behavior in ADHD relationships with Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer. Pete's personal confession—renting a convertible for a romantic coastal drive during courtship, then later purchasing an entire car during what should have been a routine oil change—illuminates the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of impulsivity that Melissa has observed in thousands of couples."It came from somewhere," Melissa notes of impulsive words and actions that wound our partners. But where? The answer lies in a neurological tightrope walk between present-moment reward and lo

Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a canyon. One, tethered to the rhythms of neurotypical expectation—cause and effect, action and consequence—a world in which forgotten keys are just that: forgotten keys. The other, moving through a landscape of impulsivity, of fractured attention, of a thousand micro-failures that feel, at times, like an existential indictment. They love each other. They try to reach across the chasm. But the bridge they need is invisible.This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on a three-part exploration into ADHD and relationships. Their guide this first week: Jonathan Hassall, an ADHD and executive function coach with a background in psychiatric nursing and ADHD research. Jonathan has spent years decoding the paradoxes that arise when ADHD meets the relentless machinery of relationships.Why do partners of those with ADHD feel unheard? Why does an innocuous comment about condiments over lunch spiral into a silent war? Why do people with ADHD someti

ADHD doesn’t just complicate relationships—it shapes them. From romantic partnerships to friendships, family dynamics, and workplace interactions, the traits of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity ripple across every connection. Romantic relationships often bear the brunt, with ADHD symptoms leading to miscommunication, frustration, and even intimacy challenges. Couples may struggle with mismatched libidos, impulsive behaviors, or emotional dysregulation, but understanding ADHD’s role can transform these struggles into opportunities for deeper connection.Family and professional relationships, too, are affected. ADHD parents often wrestle with providing structure or consistent discipline, creating chaotic home environments that strain relationships with children and partners. At work, impulsivity, time management issues, and difficulty following through on commitments can complicate team dynamics and career growth. Socially, the ADHD brain’s challenges with focus and emotional regulation can lead to fe

Emotional dysregulation is one of ADHD’s most disruptive yet overlooked symptoms. It’s not just a passing mood or a fleeting frustration. For those with ADHD, emotions can spiral into sudden waves of intensity—anger, hurt, joy, or anxiety—seemingly out of nowhere. This week, Nikki and Pete explore the science and strategies behind this turbulent experience, offering insights to help listeners navigate its challenges.At its core, emotional dysregulation is the brain’s difficulty managing emotions effectively. The overactive amygdala—the emotional alarm center—reacts strongly, while the underactive prefrontal cortex struggles to rein it in. When dopamine levels are low, the prefrontal cortex can’t regulate the amygdala, resulting in overwhelming emotional reactions. These aren’t just limited to anger or sadness; moments of extreme joy, excitement, or frustration can also feel uncontainable.And then we have our dear friend, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a particularly painful form of emotional dysregulati

Why is making a decision sometimes the hardest thing in the world? For those with ADHD, the labyrinth of choices can feel impossibly complex. Each twist and turn demands attention and energy—resources that are already stretched thin. This week Nikki and Pete peel back the layers of decision-making through the ADHD lens, unraveling why such a seemingly simple act can feel like scaling a mountain.At the heart of it lies one of ADHD’s most challenging riddles: the executive functions. These are the mental tools we use to plan, prioritize, organize, and remember, but for those with ADHD, these tools often feel dull or misplaced. Enter the paradox of choice. Too many options? Paralysis. Too much time? Overthinking. Too little time? Impulsivity. Each scenario is riddled with traps.Decision-making with ADHD is an art, not a science. It’s messy, it’s nonlinear, and it requires flexibility and self-compassion. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate this intricate process, offering insights, stories, and strategies to he

What happens when life throws you off course? The meeting runs late, the pipes freeze, or the day crumbles before it even begins. For most people, problem-solving is instinctive. For those with ADHD, however, it’s a far more complex process—one filled with creativity, frustration, and unpredictability.This week, Nikki and Pete explore the unique challenges and strengths of ADHD-powered problem-solving. The ADHD brain can shine in adversity, using creativity and hyperfocus to tackle unconventional problems. But it also struggles with all-or-nothing thinking, freezing under pressure, emotional overwhelm, and the need for more time to process situations.Nikki and Pete offer practical strategies to navigate these challenges. Start by clearly identifying the problem without spiraling into blame or “what-ifs.” Ask yourself: Is this my problem to solve? Often, the stress you carry isn’t yours to fix. Once you know the answer, reframe and readjust—communicate, prioritize, and take action, no matter how small.The epis

WARNING: This episode contains discussions of youth bullying and suicide.What does it mean to transform heartbreak into hope? For Tony and Cassi Bellezza, the loss of their son Anthony was not the end of his story—it was the beginning of a mission. Anthony, a vibrant and compassionate child who lived with ADHD, inspired those around him with his unique ability to see the world through a lens of kindness. But his journey wasn’t without challenges: navigating school accommodations, transitioning between educational systems, facing bullying, and finding outlets for his passions.In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright sit down with Tony and Cassi to explore the roots of Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness, the non-profit they founded to honor their son. They discuss how Anthony’s struggle—and his empathy—became the foundation for a program designed to help children and teens with ADHD not just survive, but thrive.From the challenges of private school 504 plans to the life-changing

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Stuck. Not physically stuck, mind you, but mentally ensnared. Trapped in a linguistic labyrinth of our own making. For those of us navigating the intricate pathways of ADHD, this feeling of confinement can be particularly acute. It's a subtle trap, often disguised in the seemingly innocuous words we use – words like "just" and "only." These linguistic termites, seemingly insignificant on their own, can gnaw at the foundations of our self-worth, leaving us feeling perpetually inadequate.Think about it. How often have you dismissed your accomplishments with a self-deprecating "Oh, it was just a small project"? Or downplayed your efforts with an apologetic "I only managed to get half of it done"? These seemingly harmless qualifiers, these verbal tics, are more potent than they appear. They're the building blocks of what Nikki and Pete call out as the "Language of Limitati

What if, instead of chasing perfection, we celebrated progress? What if the courage it takes to live with ADHD wasn’t just acknowledged but honored? This week on The ADHD Podcast, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright (Nikki and Pete) challenge us to pause, reflect, and rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. This isn’t about doing more or trying harder—it’s about recognizing the monumental effort ADHDers put into simply existing in a world that often misunderstands them.Here’s the truth: ADHD is not a character flaw. It’s not your fault. It’s real, complex, and challenging. Yet, too often, those with ADHD dismiss their victories, minimize their strengths, and shoulder blame that isn’t theirs. Nikki and Pete remind us that this cycle of self-criticism—those loud should statements and limiting beliefs—isn’t helping.Living with ADHD takes courage, adaptability, and resilience. But ADHDers rarely give themselves credit for what they do accomplish. This episode is a rallying cry to celebrate just that—everything you’ve alr

In episode 3001, Nikki and Pete embark on a journey into the heart of the "try-hard trap." It's a familiar snare, isn't it? That relentless, gnawing feeling that we're not doing enough, that we should be doing more. That we're perpetually falling short of some invisible, yet omnipresent, standard.Pete and Nikki explore the insidious ways in which societal pressures, internalized expectations, and the ever-present lure of FOMO (fear of missing out) conspire to keep us perpetually spinning on the hamster wheel of "trying harder." But what if, just what if, the key to unlocking our potential lies not in more effort, but in less? What if, as Pete suggests, true progress comes from letting go of the illusion of control, the unattainable ideal of perfection, and the corrosive power of self-criticism?This isn't about surrendering to inertia, sinking into the couch, and embracing a life of indolence. Far from it. It's about recognizing the inherent limitations of our ADHD brains, and working with them, not against th

Clutter. It's the silent scream of the modern age. A creeping accumulation of stuff that somehow, insidiously, steals not just our physical space, but our mental bandwidth, too. We’re drowning in it, folks. Drowning in a sea of forgotten birthday presents, impulse buys gathering dust, and that project – that project – we swore we’d finish… someday. Sound familiar? It should. Because this isn’t just about messy desks and overflowing closets. This is about cognitive overload, the subtle but persistent drain on our executive functions that leaves us feeling scattered, overwhelmed, and perpetually behind.On this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete dive headfirst into decluttering, exploring the peculiar relationship between our stuff and our sanity. They unpack the surprising statistics – the sheer volume of possessions we rarely use, the days of our lives lost searching for misplaced keys – and dissect the emotional baggage that comes with letting go. It’s a struggle many of us know all t

David Greenwood is decoding burnout. In his exploration of this pervasive modern malaise, he's ventured into the very trenches of exhaustion, spoken with those who have stared into the abyss of depleted energy, and conferred with the experts who chart the treacherous landscape of chronic stress.This week on the show, David sits down with Nikki and Pete to discuss the often-overlooked connection between ADHD and burnout. They explore the surprising statistic that suggests a staggering disparity: up to 93% of adults with ADHD grapple with burnout symptoms, compared to a mere 30% of the general population. What accounts for this chasm? Is it the relentless pursuit of perfection, the constant struggle for self-regulation, or the insidious creep of executive dysfunction that leaves one perpetually playing catch-up?Together, they dissect the nuanced symptoms of burnout, moving beyond the simplistic notion of mere tiredness. They explore the physical manifestations, the emotional toll, and the mental exhaustion that

Have you ever felt like you were living someone else's life? That the carefully constructed path you were on, the one paved with good grades, the "right" job, the societal expectations… it wasn't yours? Kate House did. At 25, she had what she calls a "quarter-life crisis." And what she discovered on the other side of that existential meltdown might just change how you think about living with intention.Nikki and Pete sit down with Kate, a behavior change specialist and empowerment coach, to dissect the difference between living by default and living by design. It's a conversation that resonates deeply, particularly for those of us with ADHD, whose brains often feel wired for the former. Kate's story is one of transformation, from burnt-out corporate drone to energized entrepreneur, fueled by a simple question: "What's the next right step?"This isn't about meticulously plotting out the next decade of your life. It's about recognizing the power of small actions, the ripple effect of tiny choices that can shift y

Burnout, frazzled nerves, and the daunting task of remembering the future: sound familiar? Join Nikki and Pete, your ADHD Sherpas, as they recap their experience at the 2024 International Conference on ADHD, armed with insights, new strategies, and a touch of the conference crud.Pete, a conference newbie, marvels at the instant connection with "his people," recounting chance encounters that blossom into deep dives on everything from queer issues to ADHD. It's a fishbowl, but one brimming with empathy. Nikki, a conference veteran, shares stories of attendees finding solace and validation, highlighting the power of shared experience.This isn't just a recap; it's a toolkit! Nikki unpacks Tamra Rosier's wisdom on the ADHD nervous system, that high-strung racehorse veering between hyperarousal and shutdown. Discover strategies to regain control, from the five-four-three-two-one grounding technique to the surprisingly soothing "head hug." They even explore the intriguing world of EFT for anxiety relief.And there's

Envision this: Anaheim, the land of Mickey Mouse, transformed into a buzzing hive of ADHD discourse. Pete and Nikki, our intrepid podcasting duo, are on the ground, soaking up the wisdom at the 2024 International Conference on ADHD. But before they regale us with cutting-edge insights, they've unearthed a time capsule – a 2017 episode recorded post-Nikki's return from the Atlanta conference.Now, you might think, "2017? Ancient history!" But hold on. This isn't just nostalgia. It's an archaeological dig into the evolving understanding of ADHD. Remember, intellectual progress isn't a smooth upward trajectory. It's a messy, fascinating jumble of breakthroughs and backtracks.So, join Pete and Nikki as they rewind the clock. Nikki, fresh off her Atlanta adventure, unpacks her five key takeaways. But here's the thing: this isn't just about revisiting the past. It's about understanding how far we've come. How have our perspectives shifted? What assumptions have we shed? What new questions are we grappling with?This

The holidays: a time of joy, connection, and… overwhelming and paralyzing stress? For many, especially those with ADHD, the rapid approach of holidays can trigger a last-minute scramble. On this episode of "Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast," Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright offer a proactive approach to holiday planning, transforming the season from a source of anxiety into a period of manageable excitement.Forget the stress spirals! Nikki and Pete kick things off with a simple but powerful tool: your calendar. Dust it off, check those dates, and make sure everything's up to date. Then, unleash your inner brainstormer! Grab a pen and paper (or your favorite digital tool) and let those holiday to-dos flow. Mind maps, master lists – whatever helps you wrangle those thoughts onto something other than the inside of your head. Important note: This isn't your actual to-do list, just a brain dump. We'll get to the action items later.Next up? Taming the to-do beast by sorting it into categories. Think "Gifts," "Decoratio

This week, Pete and Nikki sit down with Dr. Michael Felt to learn more about Delayed Sensory Affect (DSA). Ever find yourself so immersed in hyperfocus that basic needs fall by the wayside, only to erupt into chaos later? This could be a hidden ADHD struggle you've been facing.We know our brains can be overwhelmed by constant stimuli and misinterpret sensory cues. This can lead to dramatic emotional responses. Through the amusing "I have to make" model, he illustrates how this affects both children and adults, becoming a silent disruptor in our daily lives.The discussion turns raw as Pete opens up about the emotional toll of transitioning from work to home, highlighting a common yet unspoken burden for many ADHD adults. Nikki challenges listeners to recognize these patterns and take actionable steps to soften transitions with intention.Dr. Felt is an ADHD & Executive Functioning specialist who has lectured at Yale University School of Medicine, and is a professor at Columbia University, where he teaches P

Join Pete and Nikki as they welcome ADHD influencer and educator, Matt Raekelboom, back to the show! Matt's known for his videos on ADHD behaviors and neuroscience-backed tips, and today he's diving deep into the unregulated ADHD brain.Ever feel like your brain's a runaway train? Matt breaks down what that experience really feels like and how it impacts everything from emotional regulation to executive function. He shares his personal journey, highlighting the profound difference between an unregulated and regulated brain and how simple lifestyle changes can lead to extraordinary results.No, it's not about becoming an Olympian (unless you want to!), it's about finding the power to "do the thing," no matter how small. Matt, Pete, and Nikki explore the hidden costs of an unregulated brain, the myths surrounding self-care, and the importance of understanding the "why" behind healthy habits. Get ready for a dose of real talk, actionable advice, and a whole lotta hope!Links:Instagram: @mattraekelboomFacebook: @mat

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, we welcome back the insightful Kourosh Dini, MD, for a deeper dive into the surprisingly simple yet profoundly effective concept of "the visit." Since his last appearance, we've been hearing incredible stories from our listeners about how this technique has transformed their relationship with tasks, and we're thrilled to have him back to share more. “The visit" isn't about powering through a to-do list; it's about gently engaging with a task, even just for a single deep breath, and building trust in our future selves. He breaks down the two essential elements: showing up (fully present with the task) and staying (lingering for just a moment), emphasizing that this seemingly small act can spark unexpected breakthroughs.We all know the struggle of force-based work – the urgency, the shame, the last-minute scramble fueled by a desperate need for a dopamine hit. Dr. Dini offers a refreshing alternative with the visit, suggesting that it opens us up to a wider range o