Savage Lovecast

This week, Dan's guest is epidemiologist Daniel Westreich, who spells out the concept of physical distancing, and why sexual intimacy is going to be pretty difficult to attain for many of us. Some of the conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. A man asks if virtual reality porn makes sense to help "spice up your sex life." Why yes, it makes  A LOT of sense right now. A woman who is engaged to be married to her boyfriend has a female friend. This friend made a drunken, predatory pass at her. Can/should she forgive and try to salvage the friendship? And, saddle up for this weird ride: A man is married to his wife. Cool, cool. They have an open relationship. No prob. She has a boyfriend. Nice. She lives with her boyfriend. Ok? He is not allowed to seek outside partners. Wait-  what?  Also, his wife's boyfriend forbids her from having sex with the caller, her husband. Soooooo. The caller needs a little chat from Dan Savage. Ring ring! 206-302-2064  [email protected] This episode o

Here at Savage Lovecast world headquarters, in the heart of the epicenter of the Big Sick, we are keeping calm and carrying on, baby! Dan chats with Dr. Jen Gunter, who had to practice social distancing for ONE YEAR, so quit griping. She offers some strategies for how to deal with your new isolation. And, Dr.Debby Herbenick explains that although the corona virus is not sexually transmitted, you still can't just be mashing with anyone safely these days. Uh doy! Hear the tale of Maya, stuck in Spain and wondering if her relationship is mature enough to endure the rigors of quarantine. And, taking a breather, (as it were) from all this virus talk, Dan speaks with Brian Earp,  author of Love Drugs: The Chemical Future of Relationships. The tech-savvy at-risk youth are poised to accept this chemical future. 206-302-2064  [email protected] This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For

Sometimes people call us when they're drunk. Sometimes they call us about their dogs. Welcome to the center of this Venn diagram.  A woman has been invited to a "costume wedding." She will be required to dress up like a character in a movie. Is this asking too much? On the Magnum version of the show, it's a super-weird "What You Got?" with an evolutionary reproductive biologist who mulls over the *possibility* that the animal kingdom is teeming with same-sex behavior. Not just the homo penguins. And, a young woman is turned on by much older men. How can she score a silver fox without looking like gold digger? 206-302-2064   [email protected] Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click.

A gay man was hooking up at a bathhouse. His brand new lover wanted to bring a little romance into the encounter by saying the caller's name and complimenting him. The caller was horrified. Isn't bathhouse sex supposed to be anonymous? Meanwhile, in another corner of our universe, a woman is appalled that her boyfriend closes his eyes when they're having sex. How can she get him to gaze deeply into her soul while pounding her real good? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with stand-up comedian, and podcaster Cameron Esposito about her new book: Save Yourself, and how queerness and the experience of being closeted impacts her comedy. Finally, a married man with a one year-old child bemoans the quality of the "service sex" he's getting these days. With he ever see the return of enthusiastic rutting? 206-302-2064   [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage f

A straight man was dating a woman, and it felt great. Until she gave him the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. Is this always a lie? What does it mean? Dan spells it out, with no sugar on top. A man is worried about his new girlfriend. You see, she has never had penetrative sex. Is he special enough to be her first? On the Micro and more on the Magnum, Dan chats with weed journalist (now there's a sweet job if ever we've heard of one,) Lester Black. They talk about a woman whose smart husband turns into a drooling dullard whilst blazed, smoking when you're pregnant, and the effects of marijuana on dick size. Can you resist this show? No, you cannot. A man on the frozen tundra hasn't had sex in 3 years because he claims to be a grower, not a shower. Women reject him because of his dick size (he thinks) and then reject him further when he fails to eat them out properly. But he wants to learn! He asks his female friends if he can practice on them, but strangely, they all say "no." Just...no. 206-302-2064

A man is going through a divorce from his wife of 7 years. Although their breakup was peaceful, now her communication is curt and unfriendly. Is he entitled to feel angry about her unwarranted coldness? A man kindly lent a friend some money. Now she keeps asking him for more and more every month! Should he just set her up with a regular payment, or cut off the friendship? On the Micro and the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of Untrue, about women's libido, how it really works, and how our culture's misunderstanding harms relationships. A group of folks were disparaging "outie vaginas" at a party. One of the women there got awfully quiet. Did they offend her? Is this the equivalent of making fun of itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny penises? 206-302-2064   [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. ThredUP is the wo

A young man has been dating a woman for a short time. She seems great...except. Except she is anti-abortion, and anti-gay in a lazy, not very heartfelt sort of way. Can he use his sex powers to change her feeble mind? Meanwhile, a woman is dating a guy also for a short time. He told her that if he got her pregnant, he would insist that she keep the child instead of have an abortion. Should she, maybe, dump him immediately? On the Magnum, Dan chats with the writer Jillian Keenan about spanking: It's for grown-ups only please. They discuss the origins of a spanking fetish and whether corporal punishment as a child seeps into an adult's erotic imagination. A married man with a religious upbringing feels shame and guilt about masturbating. His wife contributes to this mindset. His marriage is sexless and even his urologist agrees that he needs to ejaculate already. How can he learn to wank with pride?   Shame and guilt. Keeping us in business since 2006. 206-302-2064  or This episode is brought to you by Calm, t

A woman is hoping to find a monogamous partner who is also kinky. But when she puts the word "kinky" in her profile she gets flooded with ridiculous pervs. How can she filter out the clueless horndogs? Hear the very unpleasant tale of a gay couple who venture to an older man's apartment for a hook-up, only to find there were many more men there than promised. Why was this gentleman so dishonest? Aren't older men supposed to be supportive mentors for up and coming young 'mos? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with super-duper smart writer Peggy Orenstein, (author of Girls and Sex) about her new book- Boys and Sex. She and Dan discuss how boys both suffer from and then perpetuate the culture of toxic masculinity. If you have a kid with a penis, you should listen to this one. A man is ordained to marry people through one of those mail-in certificates. His sister has asked him to perform her marriage ceremony. But her fiancé is a lying, coke addled, no-good drunk! How can he bless this mess? 206-302-2064  or voicemail@sa

Have you ever experienced conflict during a family vacation? The first call on this show might put it all in perspective for you. A protective big sister can't stand that her 17 year-old sis is dating a 21 year-old man. Their parents don't mind. Should big sister give the guy a chance, or is the age difference unacceptable? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Elizabeth Sheff from Psychology Today about raising children within a polyamorous household. And finally, a woman is considering becoming a fin-dom, with the power to financially ruin her client. But she doesn't want to ruin anyone. Is there a way to ethically do this? 206-302-2064    [email protected] The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to check out Eva- the hands-free vibrator. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .   This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off

Scootch closer, ya'll. It's Bible study with Dan Savage. On with the show: A happily single woman finally broke down after pressure from her friend to have some sex. Against her misgivings, he convinced her to pursue a relationship, promising that if it didn't work out, they could go back to being friends, easy-peasy. Guess what! Now that she wants to break it off, he can't deal with being just friends AND they are starting a business together. Please take heed to this cautionary tale. A pregnant woman can't stand the consistency of her husband's thick, slimy spit. If he drinks more water, will it change? Can she demand he do so?   On the Magnum, Dan speaks with writer Michal Daveed about hypno-kink. You know, erotic hypnosis? She explains how god damn sexy it can be, and dispels some myths too.   And, hear a most UNwholesome tale about what goes down under the mistletoe. Seriously, that whole mistletoe thing has always been a recipe for disaster, don't you think? 206-302-2064   [email protected] T

Hand-wringing women, am I right? First we have a lady who feels guilty about masturbating at night when her partner is snoring next to her. And another woman feels guilty about "objectifying" her new cross-dressing boyfriend. Is it wrong to be attracted to him in his female garb? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with John Moe, from the Hilarious World of Depression podcast about being a depressed person, or dating one. And, if you dare, hear all about the disturbing things a woman found in her husband's workshop including greasy rubber gloves, feces-stained towels, empty wine bottles and underpants with holes cut out of them. Good lord, this call. 206-302-2064. Or email it to [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your f

Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister's wedding. But you know what's weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who has convinced her that the caller (and all gay people) are degenerates. So. Should our caller carry out his man of honor duties nonetheless? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Michael Hobbes, co-host of the "You're Wrong About" podcast, about the misinformation swirling around the concept of human trafficking. And a 20 year-old woman is dating an older man. He wants to have kids one day. She is nowhere near considering such a thing. But when they have sex, she gets turned on by talking about getting knocked up. Is it unethical to engage in pregnancy dirty talk with a man who wants to be a dad? This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite res

It's kind of the bad actors show. A biting biter bit her boyfriend and drew blood. He didn't like it, so she calls him a baby. A dude wonders if can catch a contact high from sleeping with someone who is on meth. A man is miffed because a couple who came to the wedding didn't sent them a gift. Dan sternly chastises them all. People! It's 2020! Behave yourselves! On the Magnum, Dan interviews journalist L.V. Anderson about the history of herpes hysteria. And, vampire porn: How popular is it? Let's have some stats. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 25% off a Calm Premium subscrip

A formerly repressed man is discovering his wild side. He and his wife like to do it in quasi-public in the mountains. He just got her a remote controlled vibrator, and wants to see if he can get her off in a restaurant. But is this ethical? Will people notice? Dan interviews the co-author of a study that finds that women tend to trust gay male shopkeepers over women shopkeepers. They theorize that women find another woman selling beauty products and clothes can't be trusted because their reptile brains tell them they in competition for mates. So that's depressing... Merry Christmas! An 18 year-old woman has started seeing a 21 year-old guy who claimed he was celibate, but sure doesn't act like it. She thinks he's lying to himself and her. She just wants to bone him already. Should she put him out of his celibate misery? And finally, did ya'll know they sell octopus at Costco? This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by : a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasu

The show begins with an insecurity vampire. You know the kind. A person who sucks you dry with their endless need for praise and reassurance. This man is dating one, but is she entirely to blame? It's complicated. And, it's a wedding battle royale! In one corner we have our caller getting married to a man who has a child by a previous marriage- living out of town. In the other corner is the fiancé's mother, who wants to minimize contact between the kid and the caller. Whose side are you on? Grab some popcorn and listen in. On the Magnum, Santa's rollin' up! What's he got this time? Well, if he listens to resident sex toy expert Erika Moen (and he does,) out tumbles a massive cache of marital aids, including a cock sleeve that spins! A bullet vibe! A dual density dildo! "Sex in a Can! " And a Sex Machine. Like an actual machine. Not Santa himself. Is it January yet? And finally, a lesbian is in a stable, joyful, poly relationship. But she is grappling with a new partner in the scene, who has a medical conditio

Hot tubs. Are they a safe, relaxing haven or a menacing vector of disease? Here's a poly peril. What do you do when you really, really don't like your boyfriend's other boyfriend? On the Magnum, all of your chastity cage questions are answered, including "Chastity cages? What are you even talking about?" Dr. Ashley Winter is a urologist, sexual medicine specialist and the co-host of "The Full Release Podcast." She knows her stuff. And, when your wife wants to go to the Amazon to hunt for psychedelic drugs with a former lover, how do you deal with all the...feelings? 206-302-2064 [email protected] This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode is sponsored by Honey- the free browse

A man went on a date and he felt fireworks. But later that she told him that wasn't feeling it, but wants to be friends. He doesn't need friends. He already has friends. Should he bother? This question is pretty simple. Her new lover has a gargantuan penis that is shaped like a sweet potato. How on earth is she supposed to accommodate him? On the Magnum version of the show, meet the woman who read every single one of Dan's newspaper columns since he started writing them in 1991. You could say she is a sex expert expert. She has some wisdom to share. And, a kinkster living in a repressed Asian country has a masochistic friend who asked him to arrange a very dangerous scene for her. How can he set this up and also keep her safe? OH, the Danger! 206-302-2064 [email protected] Thanks to Roman for supporting Savage Lovecast. Roman is a men’s health company that offers remote online diagnosis for ED and convenient monthly delivery of medication. For a free online, visit This episode is brought to you by

A man is getting re-married. Is it shoddy to use the same officiant as his first wedding? Dan talks to a woman who had a blurry encounter with another woman as a very sexually repressed Christian school. Her lover called it rape the next day. It's been ten years, and in this #MeToo era, the caller wonders if she should find the woman and apologize. On the Magnum, a biseuxal woman wonders how she can reconcile being shy and also explore her sexually dominant side. Dan brings the wonderful Midori, wholeads the ForteFemme Women's Dominance Intensive. She knows her stuff, and will surely help churn out an army of joyfully dominant women. Also, Dan issues a tutorial on how to talk dirty without being vulgar. Ok Miss Manners...206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories withou

A woman is concerned about her friend. Why? Well, for one, she is in a 24/7 dom/sub relationship with an abusive ex-con. They have kids, and the friend is open with them about the nature of her marriage. Is it possible to explain in a healthy way that mommy is actually a slave? We've been getting a lot of calls just like this one lately: a woman has a crush on her bandmate. He's married and it would ruin everything. But still...(You musicians are HORNY.) On the Magnum, sure, gender reveal parties are unnecessary and annoying, but did you know that they have become...DEADLY? Emma Gray from HuffPost is on to discuss why gender reveal parties suck, basically.   And, after 12 years, a woman finally got out of the toxic relationship with the father of her child. She's free! But, he still begs her to have sex, and they had great sex. Should she take him up on it? What do you think? 206-302-2064 [email protected] This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping w

A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place to make sweet love. So they do it in the car. But they keep getting caught, once by the police. Is it time to demand some privacy at home? How? 206-302-2064 Or email your question to [email protected] This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by . Get 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping when you enter the offer code "Savage". This episode is brought to y