We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, the 2018 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls on as the guys talk about the pat-on-the-back, victory lap sequel, Ocean's Twelve! Why isn't there any real heist scene in this heist movie? Who thought it was worthwhile to hide Albert Finney's face throughout the whole thing? And who could care about this Julia Roberts/Bruce Willis gag? PLUS: Shredder got a tattoo WHERE?! Ocean's Twelve stars George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Shaobo Qin, Bernie Mac, Don Cheadle, Matt Damon, Carl Reiner, Elliot Gould, Robbie Coltrane, Eddie Izzard, Cherry Jones, and Vincent Cassel; directed by Steven Soderbergh. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this very special WHM On-Screen, the guys chat about the all-new Star Wars adventure: Solo: A Star Wars Story! Be warned, gentle listener! This episode contains major spoilers for the Ron Howard-directed film! Spoilers such as: that totally insane Noa Briqualon cameo, the introduction of Chewbacca showing him as a lounge lizard-type crooner, and Darth Vader being Luke Skywalker's father! Solo: A Star Wars Story stars Alden Ehrenreich, Joonas Suotamo, Donald Glover, Emilia Clarke, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Jon Favreau, and Paul Bettany; directed by Ron Howard. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off the 2018 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza by welcoming back friend of the show, director and X-Men x-pert, Sean Weiner, to chat about the major letdown that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine! Honestly, why the bone claws? Couldn't we get just a little bit of blood here? And did the filmmakers know a single thing about any of these mutant characters? PLUS: The Blob narrates some in-film trivia to keep you interested in what's on screen and also to let you know when you can go to the bathroom! X-Men Origins: Wolverine stars Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Will.i.am, and Ryan Reynolds; directed by Gavin Hood. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's adventure through the Nexus, the gang chats about two pretty excellent episodes of Trek, almost forcing a tie for the first time in show history!  First up on TOS, the episode in question is "Tomorrow is Yesterday," which originally aired on January 26th, 1967. Here, we find... OOPS! This episode is for Patreon subscribers only! If you wanna give our Star Trek podcast, The Nexus a spin, be sure to go check out our Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang goes back to Larry Country to chat about the most movie-ish of Larry the Cable Guy movies, Witless Protection! How in the world does Larry keep a job in law enforcement? How does he not realize he's straight-up kidnapping this woman? And how did a scene like this motel catastrophe make it into this shitty movie? PLUS: Detective Cable Guy — it's like if Sherlock Holmes constantly shit his pants! Witless Protection stars Dan Whitney, Jenny McCarthy, Ivana Milicevic, Gerry Bednob and Yaphet Kotto; directed by Charles Robert Carner.  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's Animation Damnation, the gang sits down with the brand-new Netflix series, The Boss Baby: Back in Business! The episode in question, "The Constipation Situation," features such amazing content like: Oops! This is only a clip! For access to the full episode—along with hours of exclusive WHM content—be sure to subscribe to our Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We apologize for the weird audio glitches here. We had to overcome some hiccups, but stick it out because this Mail Bag episode is absolutely outrageous! On this very special Mail Bag, the gang is at the HeadGum East studio in Brooklyn to read some letters alongside very special guests, their significant others: Chelsea, Jenn, Amy and Sofia! Contained in this episode are sordid tales of a person following their crush to a LOTR premiere and then crying HARD at the end in front of them, a mom getting arrested in at a video store on Easter Sunday, and several outrageous stories of bathroom-related public humiliation. CAUTION: Things get gross. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the dull as dirt—and totally unnecessary—sequel/continuation, The X-Files: I Want to Believe! Why does the film allow a convicted sex offender to dress down Scully? Why doesn't Mulder look more like Ted Kaczynski when in hiding? And how dare they put so little Skinner in this! PLUS: Wouldn't this movie be better if it ended with werewolves?  The X-Files: I Want to Believe stars David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Billy Connelly, Amanda Peet, Alvin 'Xzibit' Joiner, Billy Connolly, Callum Keith Rennie, and Mitch Pileggi; directed by Chris Carter. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's full-length patrons-only episode of We Hate Movies, we're talking about the ridiculously stupid cyber-thriller, Transcendence, but if you're not a Patreon subscriber, you can't hear it! So if you're curious about what you're missing, here's a quick taste to whet your appetite! And be sure to check out our Patreon page to get a good look at the hours of extra WHM content our subscribers have access to! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about a flagship film in the Full Moon Entertainment catalog, Dollman! How amazing are all these ultra-violent, ultra-cheap special effects? Why does Jackie Earle Haley want to "rule" the Bronx? And why couldn't we see Dollman standing next to a giant Coke can or something? PLUS: The latest in ridiculous WHM fake movie titles — We Bought A Zoo 2: We Blew Up A Zoo! Dollman stars Tim Thomerson, Jackie Earle Haley, Kamala Lopez, Humberto Ortiz, Nicholas Guest, and Frank Collison; directed by Albert Pyun. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this very special WHM On-Screen, it's WHM: Civil War as the gang squares off over the latest—and largest—entry into the MCU, Avengers: Infinity War! Was Thor & Rocket's storyline secretly the best Thor movie ever made? Who saw Doctor Strange awesomely getting this much screen time? And why are we wasting so much time on Vision, a character who had already accepted his own death? PLUS: Ya think Thanos needs intergalactic Cialis? Avengers: Infinity War stars Robert Downey Jr. Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Don Cheadle, Tom Holland, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olson, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Danai Gurira, Letitia Wright, Dave Bautista, Zoe Saldana, Josh Brolin, Chris Pratt, Karen Gillan, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba, Peter Dinklage, Benedict Wong, Pom Klementieff, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Gwyneth Paltrow, Benicio Del Toro, William Hurt, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, Carrie Coon, Winston Duke; directed by Anthony Russo & Joe Russo. Unlo

On this week's show, the gang goes globetrotting with two dying old farts in Rob Reiner's The Bucket List! Why does the film take so long before we even hear mention of a Bucket List? How much does Morgan Freeman's character hate his family? And how many prostitutes does Nicholson's character have on speed dial? PLUS: The gang loves the classic James L. Brooks film, You Gotta Do It!  The Bucket List stars Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, Sean Hayes, Beverly Todd, Rob Morrow, and Alfonso Freeman; directed by Rob Reiner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, it's a We Love Movies situation as the guys chat about the totally tubular rollerblading romantic drama, Airborne! Were this kid's parents actually going on a science expedition or were they running away from the Tax Man? Why did we need the "I'm Too Sexy" montage? And here comes Mrs. Poole! PLUS: Liam Neeson and Al Pacino go back to high school! Airborne stars Shane McDermott, Seth Green, Brittney Powell, Chris Conrad, Edie McClurg, Patrick Thomas O'Brien, Jack Black, Alanna Ubach, and Jacob Vargas; directed by Rob Bowman. And we're super-stoked to debut a particularly rad cover of our theme song—originally written by our friends in Hurrah A Bolt of Light—that was sent in by Kevin from San Pedro. You can check out his bandcamp here and find him on Instagram @kevhauntsthemachine! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang welcomes back their good friend, and WHM Disaster Movie Expert, Justin J. Case to chat about the TV-to-Film adaptation, Lost in Space! Why does that intro narration sound like we missed the first 30 seconds? How much scenery is Oscar-winner Gary Oldman chewing? And what is with that spider? PLUS: Andrew and Chris present their favorite executions from Martin Scorsese's Silence! Lost in Space stars William Hurt, Mimi Rogers, Heather Graham, Lacey Chabert, Jack Johnson, Gary Oldman, Matt LeBlanc, and Jared Harris; directed by Stephen Hopkins. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the 100-minute motorcycle gay joke, Wild Hogs! What a wretched undertaking this whole thing is—who is this for? Why did the screenwriters, director and actors all feel it necessary to cram in all these wretched, panicky, gay jokes? Why can't we root for the Del Fuegos instead of the Wild Hogs? And what a godsend Stephen Tobolowsky's presence is in this movie! PLUS: The guys work up the idea for a new screenplay written specifically for Tobo: Chili Cook-off: The Motion Picture! Wild Hogs stars Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, John C. McGinley, William H. Macy, Marisa Tomei, Ray Liotta, Kevin Durand, M.C. Gainey, Jill Hennessy, the Sklar Brothers, and the great Stephen Tobolowsky; directed by Walt Becker. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the guys go to Toon Town to talk about the doesn't-really-hold-up fan favorite, Shrek! Does that ogre eat its own feces? How many fart jokes can you fit in before the opening credits finish? And was Lord Farquaad getting ready to pleasure himself and make the Magic Mirror watch? PLUS: A writer for Gangbang Monthly gets his credentials in order to make the first Shrek press screening! Shrek stars the vocal talents of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, and Vincent Cassel; directed by Vicky Jenson & Andrew Adamson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's dive into the WHM Mail Bag, the guys read letters about prank call victims getting revenge, people forever associating 9/11 with the Jerky Boys, after hours theater sex-hijinks, pushy foot fetishists, and one lucky listener who got to share the stage with Gallagher! If you have a question for the gang, or want your crazy story read on the air, write into the Mail Bag: [email protected]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2018 Listener Request Month mercifully comes to an end with the absolutely ridiculous, I Know Who Killed Me! Is this a movie within a movie, or is this actually a movie within a movie within a movie? Is this supposed to be a horror film or not? And where did that cigarette go? PLUS: George Lucas taunts Spielberg, Abrams, and Johnson while smoking a doob!  I Know Who Killed Me stars Bonnie Aarons, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Adler, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough, and Art Bell; directed by Chris Sivertson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2018 Listener Request Month rolls on with the totally insane perv-a-thon film no one asked for, 1981's Tarzan the Ape Man! What a TRASH pile of a film! Why do we have to wait 45 minutes for Tarzan to show up? Did we need all those sexy incestuous overtones from Richard Harris? And what the ever-loving shit was John Derek thinking with that snake fight? PLUS: Drunken explorers tell tall tales at the U.K. equivalent of Applebee's—whatever that is! Tarzan the Ape Man stars Bo Derek, Richard Harris, John Phillip Law, and Miles O'Keeffe; directed by John Derek. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the latest episode from the 2018 Listener Request Month selections, the gang talks about the absolutely terrible horror sequel, I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer! Who in the world thought taking this franchise in a paranormal direction was a good idea? Couldn't they cast a single notable actor in this film? And who were these kids trying to prank? PLUS: President Barack Obama does the right thing and outlaws Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar."  I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer stars Brooke Kevin, David Paetkau, Torrey DeVitto, Ben Easter, Seth Packard, K.C. Clyde, Clayton Taylor, Michael Flynn, and Don Shanks; directed by Sylvain White. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.