We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, Pirate Fever infects the whole apartment as Chelsea Jupin joins Andrew (in-studio) and the rest of the gang (online) to chat about the second of... ugh... five films in the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest! Why couldn't this have been a slick 100 minutes? Why did they insist on jamming those two dummy pirates down our throats? And is this tentacle stuff doing it for anyone else? PLUS: Please enjoy the killer new cover of our theme song, courtesy of the very talented Elliot Weeks from Seattle, WA—thanks, dude! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest stars Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hollander and Naomie Harris; directed by Gore Verbinski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's 90210-centric episode of MELR0210, the gang is joined by resident Jackie Taylor Expert, Steve's wife, Jenn, to discuss the truly bonkers episode, "Perfect Mom"! Originally airing November 22nd, 1990, this episode features the mother-daughter fashion show to end all mother-daughter fashion shows, Jackie Taylor blowing rails in front of Kelly AND Cindy, Jim Walsh learning the keyboard for some reason, Brandon cruelly toying with Andrea's heart yet again, David reaching god-tier pervert status, and several pitchers of vodka with lemon! PLUS: A Beverly Hills home that looks almost exactly like the Power Rangers' headquarters! "Rangers! Get out there and find Zordon some more blow!" MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patr

We head into the weekend with our second MELR0210 episode of the week which has us talking about the outrageous Melrose Place episode, "My Way"! Originally airing back on August 19th, 1992, this episode features Billy putting Alison in one of the absolute worst positions of all time, Sandy letting a role in a slasher film go to her head, Jake stealing someone's beer, Rhonda throwing an unwanted party, Jane buying McDonald's, Matt doing nothing, Michael spilling food everywhere, and the return of everyone's favorite satanic character actor, Malachi Throne! PLUS: We come up with some pretty sweet trailer lines for a fake horror movie! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy

On this month's Gleep Glossary, Eric regales Andrew and Steve with the tale of the infamous Gartogg the Gamorrean Pig Guard! Everyone remembers Gartogg, right? That one pig person who was a guard in Jabba's Palace? And how he was always—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head over to our Patreon and sign up today! Instantly unlock this full Gleep Glossary entry, along with hours upon hours upon hours of exclusive bonus content that isn't available anywhere else! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang gets Pirate Fever as they kick off the 2020 Pirate-thon with the 2003 blockbuster, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl! Why did they insist on making this movie so damn long? Who needed to try so hard to make those two goofy pirates a thing? And who's on which ship when? Stop ship-switching! PLUS: We pitch the next History Channel edu-tainment classic, History's Haircuts! Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl stars Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jonathan Pryce, and Jack Davenport; directed by Gore Verbinski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On our first MELR0210 episode of the week, the gang is chatting about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "Higher Education"! Originally airing back on November 15th, 1990, this episode features Brandon cheating on a history quiz; Brenda wanting to color her hair to be more like Kelly; Dylan being a handsome, yet creepy motorcycle stalker; Jim Walsh, once again, interfering in his son's life; Cindy Walsh fantasizing about the Beach Boys; Brandon telling off an old teacher; and Steve Sanders being King of the Cheaters which should surprise no one. MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the first ever WHM Quarantine Live!, originally broadcast on April 21st, 2020, the guys opened up the WHM Mail Bag to read letters about parents editing movie violence out of VHS rips, cinema complainers getting humiliated in the local newspaper, mall security guards eating way too much Taco Bell, and people losing their mind during Snakes On A Plane; and then they wrapped up the evening by taking questions from the live (internet) studio audience! PLUS: Steve is replaced by famed Gotham villain, Bane! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the final episode of the week (and the month—wow, time means nothing!) the gang is chatting about all things Place on the second MELR0210 episode of the week! The episode in question, "Second Chances," originally aired on August 12th, 1992 and features Alison helping Jake study for the GED; every obnoxious lookie-loo in the complex thinking they're not studying, but sleeping together; Billy being an incredibly nosy creep; Rhonda ending a one-sided feud with an old dancing buddy; and Matt getting super-into funky dancing! PLUS: The gang descends even further into #QuarantineMadness! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, the gang descends further into madness when chatting about the absolutely bonkers Vanilla Ice alien movie, Cool As Ice! What planet is Ice's character supposed to be from? Are these guys a band or what? And does somebody owe Tim Burton a check here? PLUS: An update on the 2020 tour! Cool As Ice stars Vanilla Ice, Kristin Minter, Naomi Campbell, Deezer D, Kevin Hicks, Allison Dean, John Newton, Michael Gross, Jack McGee, and S.A. Griffin; directed by David Kellogg. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We kick off this week's MELR0210 episodes with a chat about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode "One on One," which originally aired back on November 1st, 1990! This episode features Steve Sanders being racist, Brandon trying out for the basketball team and being racist, Brenda nearly running down Henry Winkler during Driver's Ed, Steve being racist again, Jim Walsh trying (and failing) to live vicariously through Brandon, Andrea almost blowing up her own spot, Brenda lying to the police ,and Steve being racist for a third time without being called out on it! PLUS: Is that really what Nat puts on a sandwich? MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the second MELR0210 ep of the week, the gang is chatting about the Melrose Place after-school special episode, "Leap of Faith," which originally aired on August 5th, 1992. This lackluster week at the Place, Alison does nothing, Billy gets a job writing for a possibly fake newspaper, Jane considers hiding her abortion from Michael, Rhonda guts a couple of fish in front of Sandy, Jake and the guys go bungee jumping, and Matt talks about stopping a knife fight! PLUS: Malachi Throne, the Neil Gaiman nightmare character you didn't know you needed! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, friend of the show and New York Times columnist, Jamelle Bouie hangs out with the gang in cyberspace to chat about the criminally underrated Arnold Schwarzenegger action thriller, Raw Deal! How many times has Arnold's character casually dropped cigars onto gas puddles to catch the bad guy? How is it that Arnold can just apply for a job to work in the mafia? And who throws a perfectly good cake? PLUS: Jesse Ventura gets snubbed by Arnold during Raw Deal casting! Raw Deal stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold, Sam Wanamaker, Paul Shenar, Robert Davi, Ed Lauter, Darren McGavin, and Steven Hill; directed by John Irvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the first episode of this week's MELR0210, our 1990's prime-time soap opera do-si-do, we're chatting about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "The First Time," which originally aired October 25th, 1990. This episode is a real Walsh Family Affair as Brandon's ex-girlfriend from Minneapolis, Sheryl comes to visit; Brenda babysits for her algebra teacher that she also has a crush on; Dylan does some sexy dancing with Sheryl at a hot, L.A. nightclub; we visit the robotics lab all too briefly, sans Scott; and Kelly goes through Brenda's teacher's underwear drawer! PLUS: Cindy Walsh lays awake all night wondering if her teenage son is having sex feet away! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener f

On this week's Melrose Place episode of the ongoing MELR0210 quarantine project, the guys are chatting about the swing-and-a-miss, dull as dirt episode, "For Love or Money"! Originally airing back on July 29th, 1992, this episode features Alison dating that Gremlin-loving loser Rick who steals her ad campaign ideas; Jake not really ripping people off by selling sex paintings he actually made with his ex-partner in crime; and Rhonda totally ditching Matt after promising him she'd volunteer at his halfway house! And the best part of all, very little Michael and Jane! PLUS: Jay Leno orders a bride made entirely of denim?! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's exclusive We Love Movies episode, the gang gets into some deep isolation with a lively chat about the John Carpenter classic, The Thing! How rad is Kurt Russell's—WHOA THERE! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, sign up for our Patreon today! Instantly access our entire We Love Movies chat on The Thing along with hours and hours and hours of exclusive bonus content we make available only to subscribers! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's all-new episode, the gang is chatting about the sleaziest of scumbag vampire hunter films, John Carpenter's Vampires! How about that gross/awesome week-long motel party, huh? Why couldn't we get more with the vamp hunting team? And was this really the first time Mark Boone Junior has been decapitated in a major motion picture? PLUS: Don't miss out on our companion episode, a We Love Movies broadcast all about Carpenter's The Thing, dropping tomorrow—4/14/20—for patrons only! Sign up today and keep the Carpenter Party going! John Carpenter's Vampires stars ::ugh:: James Woods, Daniel Baldwin, Sheryl Lee, Thomas Ian Griffith, Maximilian Schell, Tim Guinee, Mark Boone Junior, Gregory Sierra, and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa; directed by the Master of Horror himself, John Carpenter. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode of this week's MELR0210 shows, the guys are chatting about the third episode, "Every Dream Has Its Price (Tag)"! Originally airing back on October 18th, 1990, this episode features a tease about moonlight horseback riding, rich girls stealing from boutiques, a hilarious clothing store detective, Brandon learning about wage slavery, Dylan openly mocking a restaurant, the Walsh parents being... not great to a housekeeper, and David filming Girls Gone Wild at school! PLUS: Does everyone remember the backdoor pilot for what became Aaron Spelling's, Dudes? MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's entry in the Gleep Glossary, Eric entertains the guys with the tale of another supposed leader who failed to stop a phantom menace, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn! If only the world's tallest Jedi had lived long enough to—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, click over to our Patreon page and sign up today! Instantly access this full ep, along with hours and hours and hours of exclusive content! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the Melrose Place episode of this week's MELR0210 offerings, the gang is chatting about the third episode of season one, "Lost & Found"! Originally airing July 22nd, 1992, this episode has Billy writing a garbage screenplay and Allison being too much of a coward to lie to him; Michael and Jane doing the Michael & Jane nonsense, only this time there are chili-dogs involved; Sandy causing mischief like she's the complex's Woody Woodpecker; Jane flirting with a dude who has Michael Landon's haircut; and Jake finally, once and for all, avoiding jail time by officially getting Kelly to go back to her own show and take all her rotten friends with her! PLUS: The guys riff on secret apartment complex owner, Mel Rose—after all, it's his place! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s

On this week's episode, the gang turns their key and unlocks the vault for a special presentation of their Man of Steel episode! Previously released on their Patreon feed only, this episode has the guys pondering why we couldn't have a Krypton prequel movie with Russell Crowe, why Superman keeps having to hitch-hike everywhere, and whether this movie had a vendetta against the IHOP chain of family restaurants? PLUS: The origin of the WHM Sound Board bit. MM-MM-PATRICKWILSON. MM-MM--PATRICKWILSON... VERAAAAA FAAAAAARMIGAAA! To access hours and hours of additional exclusive content like this, head over to our Patreon page and subscribe now! Sign up today to Unlock the Vault! Man of Steel stars Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane, Russell Crowe, Laurence Fishburne, Christopher Meloni, Richard Schiff, Harry Lennix, and Kevin Costner; directed by Zack Snyder. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.