We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, Pirate Mania claims another victim as the gang welcomes film critic and co-host of the Bad Romance Podcast, Jourdain Searles to chat about the... sigh... fourth installment of this Mickey Mouse franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides! How many sword fights in the rafters must we endure? What's with that Judi Dench cameo? And how do you not show the Pearl sailing out of that bottle at the end? PLUS: Did everyone get a look at Barbossa's cool thermos? Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides stars Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Kevin McNally, Sam Claflin, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Stephen Graham, Keith Richards, and the legendary Richard Griffiths; directed by Rob Marshall. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We kick off another week of quarantined pods with an all-new ep of MELR0210! The episode in question, a Beverly Hills, 90210 entry titled "The Gentle Art of Listening," originally graced the airwaves on December 6th, 1990. This wild episode features Brenda getting in too deep at a teen crisis hotline, Brandon thinking he's going to sleep with a massage therapist that used to work at the Peach Pit, Nat getting a bit loud in the back room, Scott botching a public prank phone call, Steve Sanders celebrating Grudge Week, David emceeing his first school event, Dylan not being around enough, and Andrea being needlessly condescending to Brenda! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for pri

We're gliding into the weekend with our second MELR0210 episode of the week, all about the Melrose Place episode, "Responsibly Yours"! Originally airing September 9th, 1992, this episode has Billy dating a stand-up comedian and forcing his way into her life, Alison getting ripped off by Billy to the tune of $300 and however much else it cost to waste the day at Magic Mountain, Sandy and Jake trying to go on a date and not complicate things with sex which is impossible obviously, Rhonda getting her cooking insulted by Billy, and Matt absolutely vibing with Dawn's stand-up material! PLUS: Is Jake a secret-ish serial killer? MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informatio

On this month's SUPER-SIZED journey into The Nexus, the gang is chatting about two Trek episodes with severe daddy issues! First up on TOS, it's Spock having daddy issues in "Journey to Babel"! Originally airing November 17th, 1967, this episode features the debut of—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head over to our Patreon and sign up today. Instantly access this episode, along with hours and hours of exclusive bonus content! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's show, Pirate Madness takes another soul when Hooked on TJ Hooker's Ben Worcester drops by to chat about the incredibly bloated third installment in the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End! Who thought of starting a Disney movie with a child hanging? Does Davy Jones really look like a monster only because he's bad at his job? And what's with all those crabs? PLUS: Look out! It's a.... GIANT... WOMAN! Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End stars Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, Bill Nighy, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Kevin McNally, Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hollander, Chow Yun-Fat, Keith Richards, and Naomie Harris; directed by Gore Verbinski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We kick off another week of all-new pods as the gang chats about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "The 17 Year Itch," on our first of two MELR0210 episodes! Originally airing November 29th, 1990, this episode features Cindy and Jim having some marriage trouble, Brenda and Brandon taking a weird twin test, David yearning to be the school's new radio DJ, and Steve Sanders washing out hard at another extra-curricular activity! PLUS: ::bad Aaron Spelling impression:: Ya know, maybe Donna shouldn't be more than just a background actor after all... MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We wrap up another week in quarantine with our Melrose Place half of MELR0210 covering the creep-tacular episode, "Lonely Hearts"! Originally airing back on September 2nd, 1992, this ep features Sandy getting stalked and no one believing her, Alison neurotically and boringly trying to buy a car, Billy being an awful shopping partner, Jake almost getting arrested (again), Rhonda reaching annoyingly high levels of horny, Michael giving terrible advice, Jane casually mentioning she was receiving obscene phone calls, and Matt driving Rhonda to the airport! PLUS: Legendary announcer Joe Buck has the call for... what he sees walking down the street? MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener f

On this month's exclusive WLM offering, the gang is going back to the film that started the J-horror remake craze in Hollywood, The Ring! Capitalizing on the Verbinski Mania that's been sweeping the show, the guys chat about how eerie and—WHOA THERE! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head on over to our Patreon and sign up today. Instantly unlock this ep along with hours upon hours of exclusive bonus WHM content you can't get anywhere else! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, Pirate Fever infects the whole apartment as Chelsea Jupin joins Andrew (in-studio) and the rest of the gang (online) to chat about the second of... ugh... five films in the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest! Why couldn't this have been a slick 100 minutes? Why did they insist on jamming those two dummy pirates down our throats? And is this tentacle stuff doing it for anyone else? PLUS: Please enjoy the killer new cover of our theme song, courtesy of the very talented Elliot Weeks from Seattle, WA—thanks, dude! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest stars Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hollander and Naomie Harris; directed by Gore Verbinski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's 90210-centric episode of MELR0210, the gang is joined by resident Jackie Taylor Expert, Steve's wife, Jenn, to discuss the truly bonkers episode, "Perfect Mom"! Originally airing November 22nd, 1990, this episode features the mother-daughter fashion show to end all mother-daughter fashion shows, Jackie Taylor blowing rails in front of Kelly AND Cindy, Jim Walsh learning the keyboard for some reason, Brandon cruelly toying with Andrea's heart yet again, David reaching god-tier pervert status, and several pitchers of vodka with lemon! PLUS: A Beverly Hills home that looks almost exactly like the Power Rangers' headquarters! "Rangers! Get out there and find Zordon some more blow!" MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patr

We head into the weekend with our second MELR0210 episode of the week which has us talking about the outrageous Melrose Place episode, "My Way"! Originally airing back on August 19th, 1992, this episode features Billy putting Alison in one of the absolute worst positions of all time, Sandy letting a role in a slasher film go to her head, Jake stealing someone's beer, Rhonda throwing an unwanted party, Jane buying McDonald's, Matt doing nothing, Michael spilling food everywhere, and the return of everyone's favorite satanic character actor, Malachi Throne! PLUS: We come up with some pretty sweet trailer lines for a fake horror movie! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy

On this month's Gleep Glossary, Eric regales Andrew and Steve with the tale of the infamous Gartogg the Gamorrean Pig Guard! Everyone remembers Gartogg, right? That one pig person who was a guard in Jabba's Palace? And how he was always—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head over to our Patreon and sign up today! Instantly unlock this full Gleep Glossary entry, along with hours upon hours upon hours of exclusive bonus content that isn't available anywhere else! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang gets Pirate Fever as they kick off the 2020 Pirate-thon with the 2003 blockbuster, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl! Why did they insist on making this movie so damn long? Who needed to try so hard to make those two goofy pirates a thing? And who's on which ship when? Stop ship-switching! PLUS: We pitch the next History Channel edu-tainment classic, History's Haircuts! Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl stars Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jonathan Pryce, and Jack Davenport; directed by Gore Verbinski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On our first MELR0210 episode of the week, the gang is chatting about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode, "Higher Education"! Originally airing back on November 15th, 1990, this episode features Brandon cheating on a history quiz; Brenda wanting to color her hair to be more like Kelly; Dylan being a handsome, yet creepy motorcycle stalker; Jim Walsh, once again, interfering in his son's life; Cindy Walsh fantasizing about the Beach Boys; Brandon telling off an old teacher; and Steve Sanders being King of the Cheaters which should surprise no one. MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the first ever WHM Quarantine Live!, originally broadcast on April 21st, 2020, the guys opened up the WHM Mail Bag to read letters about parents editing movie violence out of VHS rips, cinema complainers getting humiliated in the local newspaper, mall security guards eating way too much Taco Bell, and people losing their mind during Snakes On A Plane; and then they wrapped up the evening by taking questions from the live (internet) studio audience! PLUS: Steve is replaced by famed Gotham villain, Bane! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the final episode of the week (and the month—wow, time means nothing!) the gang is chatting about all things Place on the second MELR0210 episode of the week! The episode in question, "Second Chances," originally aired on August 12th, 1992 and features Alison helping Jake study for the GED; every obnoxious lookie-loo in the complex thinking they're not studying, but sleeping together; Billy being an incredibly nosy creep; Rhonda ending a one-sided feud with an old dancing buddy; and Matt getting super-into funky dancing! PLUS: The gang descends even further into #QuarantineMadness! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this more-than-necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, the gang descends further into madness when chatting about the absolutely bonkers Vanilla Ice alien movie, Cool As Ice! What planet is Ice's character supposed to be from? Are these guys a band or what? And does somebody owe Tim Burton a check here? PLUS: An update on the 2020 tour! Cool As Ice stars Vanilla Ice, Kristin Minter, Naomi Campbell, Deezer D, Kevin Hicks, Allison Dean, John Newton, Michael Gross, Jack McGee, and S.A. Griffin; directed by David Kellogg. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We kick off this week's MELR0210 episodes with a chat about the Beverly Hills, 90210 episode "One on One," which originally aired back on November 1st, 1990! This episode features Steve Sanders being racist, Brandon trying out for the basketball team and being racist, Brenda nearly running down Henry Winkler during Driver's Ed, Steve being racist again, Jim Walsh trying (and failing) to live vicariously through Brandon, Andrea almost blowing up her own spot, Brenda lying to the police ,and Steve being racist for a third time without being called out on it! PLUS: Is that really what Nat puts on a sandwich? MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the second MELR0210 ep of the week, the gang is chatting about the Melrose Place after-school special episode, "Leap of Faith," which originally aired on August 5th, 1992. This lackluster week at the Place, Alison does nothing, Billy gets a job writing for a possibly fake newspaper, Jane considers hiding her abortion from Michael, Rhonda guts a couple of fish in front of Sandy, Jake and the guys go bungee jumping, and Matt talks about stopping a knife fight! PLUS: Malachi Throne, the Neil Gaiman nightmare character you didn't know you needed! MELR0210 is a new show we put together to help you pass the time during this necessary social distancing period. New episodes will air Mondays and Thursdays, right here on the main feed! So stay home, tune in, and yearn for the more innocent and sexy time of the 1990s! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, friend of the show and New York Times columnist, Jamelle Bouie hangs out with the gang in cyberspace to chat about the criminally underrated Arnold Schwarzenegger action thriller, Raw Deal! How many times has Arnold's character casually dropped cigars onto gas puddles to catch the bad guy? How is it that Arnold can just apply for a job to work in the mafia? And who throws a perfectly good cake? PLUS: Jesse Ventura gets snubbed by Arnold during Raw Deal casting! Raw Deal stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold, Sam Wanamaker, Paul Shenar, Robert Davi, Ed Lauter, Darren McGavin, and Steven Hill; directed by John Irvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.