Junkfood Cinema

This s**t just got real!We hadn’t covered one of the greatest action movies of all time and you Junkions took us to court! Now, at long last, Brian & Cargill ride and/or die with BAD BOYS II!The guys discuss the balls-out action set pieces, the interesting twist on the lead character dynamic, and the absurd amount of great character actors in BAD BOYS II’s periphery.They also question the wisdom of a second Bay of Pigs, Brian pleads guilty to past distaste for this flick, and the guys pitch the ultimate franchise crossover that never was.Shake a tail feather! Download, listen, and share now!

Brian & Cargill kick off JanUary with the first fan-curated film of the month: Darkman. In 1990, Sam Raimi delivered us a superhero so emotionally unstable as to make Batman look like Santa Claus.The guys discuss all the ways in which Darkman was Raimi's dry run for directing Spider-Man a few years later, right down to the montage work and the Danny "Elf Man" Elfman score. They also point out the relationship between Darkman, Batman, The Shadow, and...Lon Chaney?Who is Darkman? Listen to this episode and find out!Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Saving the best for last, Brian & Cargill warp up JCVDecember with Lionheart! Van Damme shows some actual acting chops as he fights for family, fights for survival, fights...in Jeans?Part Rocky, part Hard Times, part Street Fighter (much more so than the actual Street Fighter movie he starred in), Lionheart is the best non-meta JCVD flick, and we’ll work-boot-kick anyone who says otherwise!

In the distant past of 2004, and the even slightly distanter past of 1994, one man had the courage to travel back in time for justice...and to brandish a sick ass mullet!Brian and Cargill upset the spacetime continuum as JCVDecember explores the ageless excellence of Timecop. Ron Silver devours scenery, balloon men do the splits, and Mia Sara might be a Highlander.All this plus the guys discuss the petty ways they would personally profit from time travel and Van Damme keeps going back to change this podcast. What a jerk!Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Put up your Dux, because JCVDecember fights on!This week, Brian and Cargill step into the kumite and battle it out with Van Damme’s breakout film: Bloodsport.The guys exchange jabs as they breakdown the pros and cons of what is arguably the second best version of this same movie that Van Damme made three times. They also discuss flashback troubles, propose an 80s soundtrack singer kumite, and Frank Dux pops in to take credit for everything.If your bodies are ready and your hearts are on fire, push it over the wire by downloading and listening to this week’s episode!

Brian and Cargill are joined once again by Derek Mahr as they spin-kick off their JCVDecember celebration with the best puckin' Die Hard ripoff of all time: Sudden Death. Ok, it might not be the best Die Hard ripoff, but it's definitely the meanest and the most hockey-y.Thrill as Van Damme beats the stuffing out of a penguin mascot! Recoil in fear as Powers Boothe fills your mouth with spiders! Scratch your heads in confusion as we contemplate JCVD's double identity as both a Mega Man villain AND a Chili's manager.All this plus, the Cargill joke that made Brian contemplate retiring from podcasting. What are you waiting for, Van Dammit? Download and listen now!Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

In this week's Mongo-sized episode, Brian & Cargill, kings of the impossible, travel back to planet Mongo to talk about Flash Gordon...but like actually talk about Flash Gordon this time.They rock out to Queen, worship Ming von Sydow, and get lost in the technicolor fever dream of this 80s fantasy classic. These impetuous boys also discuss Flash Gordon's incestuous relationship with Star Wars, whether it's cool to wear your own name on a teeshirt, and their theory that the whole movie might be a certain Jets quarterback's concussed delusion. For god's sake, strap yourselves down for this one.You bored, Klytus? Download, listen, and share this episode.Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

It has been dormant for a long time, but like the mighty McRib, Modern Junkfood Masters has returned! This time around, Brian and Cargill honor writer/director Lorene Scafaria. They discuss the oddly embraceable hipsterism of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, the heartfelt apocalypse of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and the poignant, autobiographical rabbit hole of The Meddler. All this, plus, the creation of The Meatloaf Connection (which will almost certainly be appearing at your local mall food court), a discussion of J.K. Simmons' mustache game, and the least appetizing reference to Oreos you've ever heard! Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Welcome, brothers and sisters! Cargillvember trucks along as we pitch our tents for a Leap of Faith revival. As we discuss the pros and cons of this Steve Martin vehicle, we knew we needed someone who is himself a pro at being a con: Night Attack/Scam School's Brian Brushwood.We discuss the tricks of the con man trade as they pertain to televangelists and pray-for-pay preachers, Leap of Faith's heavenly cast, and why Liam Neeson should have played Doc Brown. Also, during the recording, Brian's computer becomes possessed by a demon. Was it a hoax, or the genuine article? You decide.Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Junkfood Cinema is here to spice up your life as Brian & Cargill tell you why you want why you really really want to revisit Spice World.No, we’re not kidding. The guys’ two minds become one as they explain the exceptional satire of this bugnuts vehicle for Britain’s premier girl group of the late 90s. They touch upon the self-effacing humor, the cavalcade of cameos, and why Spice World at least belongs in the same conversation as Purple Rain and A Hard Day’s Night. They’re giving you everything, and all that they want from you is the promise you will download and share.

We're coming to get you, Junkions! Actually, we're coming to give you a super-sized feast as Brian and Cargill feast on all six of George A. Romero's Dead films. From Night of to Survival of, their corpses will not rest until the entire franchise is covered.The guys discuss the various chronologies, the messages of each installment, how The Walking Dead only exists because of Romero, and why Robin Sparkles probably got devoured by ghouls. They also chat about the horrors of copyright loopholes and postulate that those guys at Pace were a little overzealous about their salsa.Feel free to gorge on this mega episode (just don't CHOKE ON IT!!!) and spread the infection as far as you can! We'll see you at the mall!Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Get ready to take an ill-advised detour as Brian & Cargill fall into a Tourist Trap. Part Texas Chainsaw Massacre, part Carrie, and part Psycho, Tourist Trap is all lunacy.The guys discuss Chuck Connors' reinvention, the formative power of loincloths, and why Klaus Kinski won't stop screaming at them. All this plus Brian goes off book in a Hulu tirade.Make sure your friends don't get lost, share this episode and direct them to Junkfood Cinema!

Ain't nothing this podcast can do for you, 'cept send you to hell...or maybe send you out for tacos. Brian and Cargill continue their unintended, but still great, redneck horror theme with 1988's Pumpkinhead. The directorial debut of effects master Stan Winston, Pumpkinhead is a perfect horror flick. The contemporary fairy tale with one of the genre's most empathetic protagonists (who is also kind of the villain) also happens to feature one of the greatest monsters ever committed to film. Gather your kin, sit a spell, and mind where you step. The woods are full of...Kenny Loggins? 

If you go down in the woods today, you may get a big surprise. You may in fact be surprised that this week's movie exists in the first place. But obscure is the tree from which Junkfood Cinema falls and as Schlocktober continues, Brian and Cargill taking a camping trip with The Final Terror.From the director of The Fugitive comes possibly the most anti-slasher-movie slasher movie of all time. From its sensible characters, killer cast, and satisfyingly shocking ending, The Final Terror is the last thing you'd expect. Also in this episode, rusty trombones, Where's Waldo gets murdered repeatedly, and we probably definitely get sued by The Movie Crypt. Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content, and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

We have such sights to show you..r ears?Brian and Cargill descend into the infernal pain dimension...which usually means they decided to eat expired pork rinds. This time however, we're referring to this Double Down of an episode in which your favorite schlock demons dissect both Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser II. These two movies have their flaws for sure, but in this episode the guys argue the only way to watch one is to watch both! The sequel goes full crazy, rips off Dream Warriors, and yet manages to pace plot holes from the first movie. All that, plus the inception of one of the grossest characters to haunt JFC studios.Download, listen, and share it around like a puzzle box!

Mellow greetings, Junkions and maniacs! This week, Brian and Cargill defrost 1993's Demolition Man. One of the stellar examples of the strange action hero meta film trend, Demolition Man pits Sylvester Stallone against Dennis Rodman's Joker. Is the nightmare future that Marion Cobretti sees when he sleeps? Will Joel Silver make an appearance in this episode (spoiler: yes)? Why is Sting following us around this month?!Download, listen, and share this episode to bring others joy joy feelings. As the chat progresses, we get three sea shells to the wind and commit several violations of the Verbal Morality Statute.

It's one for all and all you can eat on this week's Junkfood Cinema! Brian and Cargill draw their swords to defend one of the best cinematic interpretations of Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers. The cast is so full of youthful swagger that you may find yourselves referring to this 1993 Disney pic as Young Swords, but every single person in front and behind the camera delivers and the result is a deep-fried candy bar that somehow comes out lean. There's also so much fantastic swashbuckling here. Seriously, like all the buckles get swashed. Did we mention Tim Curry? Oh, we'll mention Tim Curry.Like the show? Verily! Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content (including mailbags, Top 5s and other miniseries), and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the fall of Richelieu! Thanks!

Witness finally, the finale of our Summer of 87 series! Breaking format ever so slightly (i.e. with a sledgehammer) we discuss the very worst films of 1987. Super-meh: The Quest for Sense, Jaws: The Regurgitation, Deathwish IV: The Quest for Crack. Can you believe there were a total of FOUR terrible part four's in one year? Neither could we, but we're sure as hell gonna talk about them all and slowly drive ourselves to the brink of madness all for your listening pleasure!For crying out loud, this was the summer Ishtar came out and it's not even on our list of the worst!Normally we're a podcast about celebrating the movies we love, but sometimes it's important to understand that we do in fact have a threshold. I mean if you can't find the basement, how can you adequately measure the House...2...The Second Story. Dear lord, what have we done?Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content (including the Summer of 77 miniseries), and you ensur

On this week's groovy episode, Brian and Cargill invite you to a familiar cabin in the woods. The guys flip through the pages of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and once again grapple with a question as old as the Kandarian Empire: whether 1987's Evil Dead II is a remake, sequel, or reimagining.No matter on which side of the mirror you find yourself, it can't be denied that Evil Dead II is remarkably different from its predecessor. The guys swallow souls, and a few Twinkies, as they discuss the effects, the stunts and makeup effects, and why Ash may in fact be a lost member of...The Beatles?Don't be a deadite, download and listen to the episode now!Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content (including the Summer of 77 miniseries), and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!

Hold on to your noses, Junkions! Brian and Cargill put their respective appendages to the grindstone and pull the romance film hat trick as they discuss 1987's Roxanne from behind the bushes.The great Steve Martin breaks his own mold as he dabbles in adapting classic French theater and bringing us his own brilliant take on Cyrano de Bergerac! The movie is witty, packed with fantastic character actors, and a great lesson on owning who you are.In addition to pitching woo at Roxanne, the guys also discuss Brian's inability to say certain words, obscure Indiana restaurants, and why the remake should star...Eminem?Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! For as little as $4/mo, you can get access to all our bonus content (including the Summer of 77 miniseries), and you ensure we can keep doing Junkfood Cinema long after the end of the world! Thanks!