Your Kickstarter Sucks

I need to simplify my life. I think probably the best way to do that is to start gluing stuff in my house to each other. That way when I want my spoon, hey, my matches are right there. And my hand towels? Well they won’t go missing again, glued such as they are to my desktop keyboard. Don’t ask me why I need them in the same spot. It’s really only something you can understand when your life is as simple as mine. On today’s show we’ve got, naturally, a way to glue your car keys to your phone, a thing that says it helps people but probably doesn’t (not this show), and a bed that constantly takes your dog’s blood pressure or something. And that’s just the Kickstarters! There’s other stuff in here too, like your friends Mike, JF, and Dan. And oh yeah, the Kickstarters as well. Now where'd I put that danged Post Episode button? It was right here, next to the glue bottle!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited b

Political division! It’s arguably the biggest problem facing society today, or a fake thing that does not exist at all except in the mind of feckless dorks and opportunistic grifters. Who’s to say! Probably us, I would think. Yeah. I think it’s us guys who get to say what everything is. Also some stuff that “is” this week: a type of coffee that doesn’t make you go to the bathroom, an AI that helps you talk to women, and a religious satire movie that feels at least 20 years out of date. Plus, we don’t say anything about putting down dogs in this episode so everyone’s safe from that. If they don’t read this far I guess. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - Want more YKS? You Do?! Oh my god! You have to go to the jail hospital! Haha. That would be crazy. But after all, it is one crazy show. Whether it’s even more Kickstarters, real world adven

What a special episode! We finally got to it! The most cynical Kickstarter we have ever seen! It’s so special to actually get here and know that from here on out, every other unbuildable infrastructure project or card game rip-off or IP cash-in or political pandering or navel-gazing independent film or useless electronic doodad will be at the very least more of a genuine attempt at creating something than the project we talk about on today’s show. I am looking forward to seeing them!In addition to that hunk of crap, though, on today’s show we’ve got some goofy ass bible shit that feels like the end times, a project that attempts to undo the inevitability of meeting our end, and yep, a card game rip-off. Some nice comforting audio slop to offset the gobsmacking offensiveness of today’s star of the show. And no, I ain’t talkin’ about the boys themselves!! For crying out loud! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is

HEY! Wake up! I’m guessing you were probably asleep when this episode came out. I mean, we’re asleep for a third of our lives, so we got a decent shot. And I love a damn underdog. Well now that you’re awake, would you like to go to the bathroom and squeeze out like a millimeter of pee? Don’t forget to keep your eyes kind of halfway closed so you don’t get all the way waked up. That always works. Alright now that you’re done and settling back into bed it’s time to relax completely without peeking at the time on the clock. Just kidding, motherfucker! It’s 3am. Now you’re fucked. Might as well listen to the show. And what a show it is! Today we got a few things I think you’ll like. Well, you will if you like “camera-wires.” And if you like AI-generated football insights mailed to you a year after the actual event, you’ll be in hog heaven. Not to mention if you have an affection at all for F-tier CGI sticking Santa Clause “in the shit”. But onion tear likers? You’re shit outta luck. The rest of yas? Get in h

Eeeeeeeevveeerryyybboooody do the new show dance! Oh yeah! Let’s do it! I see you! Wow, guys, I knew you were super talented and always up for a crazy time, but I had no idea fans of YKS were such groovy groovers! You were really movin that thing! Well let’s put that energy to good use, shall we? By sitting still and quiet for like 2 hours while some other guys talk about the computer. Starting right….NOW! On today’s show we’ve got a pet memorial which honestly is fine just a little pretentious maybe but not every one of these is gonna be like CyberTruck Pedestrian Scraper, ya know? Sometimes it’s just a silly little doodad. And the idea is it prompts further spontaneous conversation. So get off my ass! And stop dancing! Plus we’ve got a QR code you can finally wear on your lapel, money you can wear on your finger, and a book that I think even the Comic Book Guy would say is the “Worst. Idea. Ever”! ™ . Copyright. Or maybe there’s some other worst ideas on the thing I forget. Only one way to find out…to keep

By day I’m a simple bartender…but by night…ahh!!! I really let my hair down and I become…The Beverage Entrepreneur! No you haven’t stumbled your way into one of the middling lunchpail Comedy Bang Bang episodes that didn’t even make it into the annual Top 10, you’re actually listening to one of the funniest episodes of YKS ever! On today’s very show, we have a nice Adult Toy that can Help, a sparkling water that will send the wokies reeing, and finally a use for those pesky plastic straws we’re all trying to buy more of. Plus, a few other things, like a celebrity who clearly wasn’t briefed on what the show is about and they get mad halfway through and we kinda gotta just gut it out! Oh well! Discuss it on the subreddit! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium - Miketober comes but once a year! And so do most of our listeners! Sign up today a

Go home, YKS…you’re drunk! Oh wait no you aren’t. You’re just making another good ass funny ass episode of the show we all love to listen to. And after all, the show is quite beloved by many all around the world…so why wouldn’t we make more episodes of it? Well maybe we will get bored or hit by a bus or something. But not this week! We did one. And on it, we had some good ass shit such as the following: a movie about how to time travel, a drink that mixes up it own self for you and there’s no booze or mixer in it, and also something called Morphy Richards. Morphy Richards. Well anyway, it sounds funny. So. Bring your sense of humor! It’s required!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.YKS Premium is the ONLY place you can find the frequently-listened-to, fake movie trivia and plot recap series MIKETOBER! Coming to Patreon this month! And presumably for many yea

I’m out of town so I’m gonna make this one quick, alright? Girl Scout Cookies are cookies sold by Girl Scouts in the United States to raise funds to support Girl Scout councils and individual troops. The cookies are widely popular and are commonly sold by going door-to-door, online, through school or town fundraisers, or at "cookie booths" set up at storefronts.[1] The program is intended to both raise money and improve the financial literacy of girls. During an average selling season (usually January through April), more than one million girls sell over 200 million packages of cookies and raise over $800 million.[2][3] The first known sale of cookies by Girl Scouts was in 1917.[4][5][6] Cookie sales are organized by 112 regional Girl Scout councils[7] who select one of two national bakeries to buy cookies from.[3][8]Plus we learn about Disease X.Video of this episode is available at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additi

Where Faith Meets Fun! Where Faith Meets Fun! Where Faith Meets Fun! Right here, on YKS! On today’s show we got dog vitamins, something that improves voicemail somehow (other than making your outgoing message a recording of you in the bathroom with your buddy), and the one and only, the man without whom none of this would be possible, the great Jan-Ove Waldner! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. It may just be mid September…but already our eyes turn…to Miketober! Get all the scaretacular fun on YKS Premium in just a couple of weeks!Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - You get a meal! And you get a meal! And you get a meal! Look under your chair…there’s a meal there! That is, if you have a chair on your porch or in your yard or in the office downstairs where the packages get delivered! B

Sometimes you’ll look at the title of an episode and think to yourself, “Oh yeah, I remember why the title of the episode was gonna be this. Because we did a good riff on what The Duckcaller’s Lament would be. And then you got some times where you have to write “Pumpkin Master’s Sake Bones” down in the title box, and you wish you could crawl into a hole and die. There are a lot more of those weeks. Anyway on today’s show, we got Lil’ Entrepreneurs, a movie that feels like a fake movie inside a fake movie, and a nice Guilt App that makes you feel bad for just sitting around doing nothing evil. And plus, God willing, a riff about Sake Bones that justifies this incomprehensible mishmash of an episode title. Please. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Whether it’s talking more about Kickstarter, or talking to our friends about old men’s buttholes, YKS Premium is the destination fo

Weee-hoo!! Yowee!! We got a Class 5 YKS comin in hot so we’re gonna wanna get all the way around it and drop our headphones right in its path! Yeah the first one kind of already did all this but this one has a bunch of 20 year olds in it so…yeeehawww!!! Well I’d keep joking about that crap but I haven’t finished watching it yet. Stick around for part 2 of the Twisters 2 Riff in the next episode description. Until then, you’ll have to be satisfied with an app for battle rapping, a way to keep your desserts warm on the go, and a decidedly unwoke independent movie! It’s a YKS Thing, baby! You probably do understand.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium – Now that’s what I call YKS! Get 4 or 5 more episodes of our crazy content every month at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks!Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by t

MORTUY: Oh geez Rick, I don’t know about this one Rick. It looks like we accidentally portaled to a planet where there’s a ruling race of sentient Kickstarter projects! Oh man, oh geez Rick. I just want to go home and pull my pud man. I don’t want to do all this space flying stuff anymore man. Look at that one…it’s like a stupid pirate card game and it’s coming at me! Ahh!! And look over there, it’s a stupid podcast about how we’re all the same! Oh god it’s horrifying. But I think I’m most terrified of the guy who went to do some sex tourism and thought it was cute! Okay that’s a real guy so it’s not really like an alien thing but man that’s really scary, too. Right, Rick? Uhh…rick??RICK: (Flashing his space credit card) One for booty on the poop deck, please! Morpy I love you. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. You know how you sometimes see an out of order toilet that people cle

You’re not gonna believe this one! Oh yeah! What! That’s right! It’s more of that CRAZY Thing you love! Oh yeah! YKS! Wahoo!!!!On today’s Wet and Wild show, we’ve got a graphic novel (comic book), one gross freako’s stupid movie idea warehouse, an app for DUI guys, and more! Wow, that sounds really Wet and Wild. Oh yes it definitely does. So we better get to it! Oh yeah! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium is where you’re gonna wanna go…where nobody knows your name! Yeah we keep it pretty anonymous over there behind the paywall, unless someone stops you in the middle of the street and asks you what you’re listening to, and you have to go, “Uh…I don’t know…Sissy brainwashing mp3s?” Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Rocket Money - Huh? What? I thought a broke person said s

Time’s a funny thing…here I am waiting to eat some dinner. But hours from now, perhaps even years, you might find yourself sitting down to listen to this episode and awaiting a different meal of your own. Breakfast, perhaps; or even lunch. And yet both of us, wherever we are – WHENever we are – know that we likey to eat some yummy food. Heh. Sometimes this big blue marble we call home just makes me smile. On today’s episode we’ve got a heap of tech that don’t make much sense at all, some real religious goofball stuff, and a bonus baby project. Hey thanks DB!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - You ain’t seen nothin yet! Ohhh baby you just ain’t seen nothin yet! Grab video episodes and more at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva

Goo goo! Ga ga! And all the rest. We’re back from our little break with a bundle of joy: that’s right, a new episode of YKS! To celebrate, we’re taking a tour through some of Kickstarter’s most baby-brained ideas. Join us as we discover the baby chain, the cheeky changer, and oh yes, the bottle buggy, plus a few other ways to harm or at least not do much to help the most precious and vulnerable creatures on Earth: future podcasters! Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go clean doo doo off someone’s balls! Oh DAN!!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Think of YKS Premium like one of those surprise births where the mommy goes to the bathroom and then a baby falls into the toilet and she goes “I didn’t even know I was pregnant!” That’s basically the show. And then you gotta fish us out of the toilet. And go to the hospital. Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod  and TikTok: YourKick

Aw db come on man. Can't be putting crotch on there man. First of all its from the episode, like you're supposed to do with these. Second, as you will learn in this episode, there are something like 8 million crotches on planet earth and basically everybody has one. Now, if I my continue.Folks, this week we've got a whole mess of new kickstarters to yap about and we're bringing you along for the ride. We got some crotch thing, something for your toilet and holy heck we even got a christian dating app! Ohh we're lonely and we believe in god ohhh. get real. Just playing okay see you guys later.Music for YKS courtesy of Wavmage, Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman and Mark Brendle. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Art by ExtraNapkins and animation by PremiumContent. Additional research by Zeke Golvin.Join YKS Premium and unlock exclusive access to video content, ad-free episodes and access to the YKS discord. Over 1 million hours* of premium audio and video content: just one click away.See Privacy Policy at

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good Morning Monday Morning! Today I might just feel like taking a look at a few Kickstarters, including a cabinet friend, a watch that helps you fish, and you guessed it, a way to give cops more money! And well, it looks like a great moment of history to check in on an open-carry freak, which we do in this episode because he had a Kickstarter one time. We did record this one a few weeks ago, so that’s pretty lucky! Who could have guessed something insane would happen in the interim. Ah well, neverless. Plus Jeremy Renner is here!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - I actually think coffee has gotten so expensive that “less than a cup of coffee” no longer has the intended meaning of “very cheap”. So instead I will say that YKS Premium is your destination for hundreds of hours of bonus YKS, including all Miketobers, Jesseuarys, YKS Beach Partys, and exclusive episodes with b

My precious listeners! I come to you once again, hat in hand, and hat on head, to ask you: check out this episode of the show. On this one we got a hat that even I (hatliking man) wouldn’t wear, an application that uses your phone camera to tell you that you are looking at a piece of food, and a crazy guy having a crazy guy kind of time. Plus, All The Rest! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - Oh it’s a party y’all! The hawk tuah girl is here and she says “The bonus episodes of YKS rock!” Thereby crystallizing forever our place in viral moment history! Wow! Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksStop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/yksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Just what are these crazy YKS guys up to now? Well it all starts with the “episode introduction”. Many dedicated fans think this is the best part of any YKS episode, but the true fan knows that the show really kicks into gear around the famous 6 pack. That’s the segment of the show where the guys fabricate an extremely realistic frog prop and wing it against the wall a few times. Or, wait, I don’t know. I think it’s something else. Anyway from there it’s basically time to enter the Begging Zone, where they beg the fans not to kill them, and then about 4 more hours of dead air and it’s the end of the ep. On this week’s show, there’s a pool guy and a weird mattress thing and a mailbox idea. And the frog prop comes to life, stands up to Mike and JF, and demands its freedom. Anyway, it’s a hell of an episode. So I personally would recommend checking this one out.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Prod