Your Kickstarter Sucks

Hey everyone, JF here. Writing the description for the show is one of the worst parts of my week so I'm going to take this one easy and just say some stuff in a list, ok? Here goes: Jacked up on caffeine, sleeping with da fishes, marmaduke follies, and Andy Serkis Grandpa. That's a great list. Alright. Glad I did it. Now, for more stuff you can put in a list, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. We don't have a big celebrity guest this week, but we do eat some very spicy food. And I think, just based on the way the world is going, maybe that's just as good to listen to. Good Morning Vietnam! That is another thing from my list that I didn't write up there. Music for YKS is courtesy of our friends Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Thank you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tuck in for some spaghetti and meatbulbs, folks, they did another YKS. On today's episode: Forgiving Paula Deen, Diamondium Blades, and Remembering Your First Beer. We're telling stories better than any writer in Hollywood, so slap that subscribe button and open up the download hatch for some D*AMN good content.And for more from the guys known as the Apple and Bugatti of podcasting by far in 2020, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. This week on YKS Premium -- the very handsome and funny Hayes Davenport!Music for YKS is courtesy of our Musical Friends Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With over 60 years combined of going on the computer and posting on it and talking to their friends, Mike and JF are here to give you the absolute best lottery numbers possible (binary), the most incomplete wrap-up of the Krassenstein Reddit AMA possible, and the most hackable way to get packages delivered just outside your front door. For more of these two schmucks getting together and shootin da shirt, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. And as long as they didn't break the website, a simple $5 contribution will unlock for your amusement hours upon hours of goofs, gags, and jokes.Music for YKS is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We recorded this one for YKS Premium, our Patreon podcast, but then we forgot to do a regular episode. So now it’s free! Insane…could we possibly get any better at podcasting?? Not likely.Mike and JF dial up friend to all Nick Wiger to talk eatin' big, fucking up, going legit, fucking up, being nasty, and fucking up. Check out Doughboys Live dates at headgum.com/live and hey maybe the YKS boys will show up on 4/11 in Nashville as well. Music for YKS is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle. And for more YKS, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, where thank God we had enough episodes in the tank to release this one over here. Coming up this week: Carl Tart! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've got a birthday boy!!! That's right, Mike is turning a different age, and we are here for it. On this week's YKS, the Krassenstein bros go stereo mode, we sip some tea and some backup tea, and the institution of the news tries to elbow in to our territory. What da hell...Music for YKS premium is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle.For more of intern Tyler's misadventures, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. With every Netflix price increase, the entire YKS backlog becomes an even better deal. This week on YKS Premium: Sean Clements of Hollywood Handbook calls in from his backyard to talk NBA GMs and help us workshop some jokes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Buckle up for this one, gang, because it's time to yiff Lou Dobbs. On today's show, Mike and JF are talkin' night stalkin', pissing on your own self, and ripping off Salt Bae. So let's just get your John Hancock on this and you'll be outta here in no time!Hey! Check out the boys' interview with screenwriter Evan Susser later this week at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks for a very special edition of Real or Fake: Hollywood. Music for YKS is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well, Christmas is coming up, and the boys are excited. Tune into this one to find out who's on our Mount Raymores and the REAL Raisin for the Saison as Santa and Jesus vie for Christmas supremacy for the 2000th (?) year in a row.If you heard yesterday's UNLOCKED PREMIUM episode with Jack Allison and liked what you heard, then check it out. There's even more of that stuff at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. If you heard it and did not like it, then you were just triggered and need a safe space.Music for YKS is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Like Jesus moving the big rock out of the cave (?), the YKS boys have temporarily and heroically rolled away the paywall. And so, we now present free of charge to content scrooges and New Year's revelers alike this classic episode of YKS Premium featuring the host of Twitch's hit morning show JackAM and tireless internet imp, Jack Allison. Originally posted November 29th, 2018. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now this is neat...it's an episode of YKS with Michael Hale and Jesse Farrar. Music for YKS is courtesy of Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and our good friend Mark Brendle.For more affection from Hugbot, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. On this week's episode of YKS Premium, we've got Vietnamese snacks, Cleveland in a Box, and of course, your letters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is so good, it's hard to even put it into words. And I know a lot of words, from having seen them other places + memorized them to use later on, so I'm not just some dumb guy what got hold of a computer. On this record-breaking 78th episode of YKS, the boys are explaining, in great detail, the two types of electricity, the functional dignity of lizard diapers, and the necessity of worshiping Jimmy Kimmel. So slap those cans on and get to laughin'!For more half-angry diatribes on behalf of people who we think once knew the guy who invented the humblebrag, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. On this week's YKS Premium, Mike and JF play test Kickstarter's runaway smash hit card game "Watch Ya Mouth". It's bad.Music for YKS is courtesy of LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and the lettered Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey what if dogs could use the computer, and go online, and be sad like everyone else? What if you could power your phone by just asking someone nearby to send you some battery? What if you could hear from God all day long by simply looking at your phone while you're trying to do some fucking work for once? That, two horrible card games, and much more on this week's episode of YKS. For more yuk yuks and crack 'em ups, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, where we post another hour a week of classic YKS hijinks. This week we talk to comedy writer and host Jack Allison about kicking ass and taking names online. YKS Premium posts every Thursday right after I feed my dogs lunch. Music for YKS is courtesy of @LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and our friend Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In what can only be described as a triumph of modern storytelling, Mike and JF convene for the 76th time to discuss crapping with the door open, the blue guys, and some very bad cups. Plus, a new Dookie List!For more abandoned figurines of law enforcement administrators, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. For somewhere around $5 a month, you will receive unlimited (?) access (??) to the entire (???) YKS Premium backlog. On this week's YKSP, the boys try some Japanese ramen sent in by listener Dave, nu metal coffee sent in by listener Olga, and live comment an episode of the very bad Netflix weed show DisJointed. Music for YKS is courtesy of LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and the learned Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Big boys and big toys. It's another YKS! Today the guys are talking dick sheaths, cheating on your homework, and, unfortunately, a drinking game based on the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. The world sucks ass. But, ya gotta listen to something. Which reminds us.There's even more terrific stuff to pass the time with over at www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. A lot of it. And it's just sitting there, rotting. Please....take it home today.With music from our friends LydiaBurrell, Craig Dickman, and Mark "Awoooooo" Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mike and JF are back in the studio to talk about expired water, anonymous enemies, and the big election. With music by Lydia Burrell, Craig Dickman, and, of course, our good friend Mark Brendle. For more of the BULL HOCKEY, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. For just $5, which back in the 1800s was probably worth a lot of money so bad example, you'll get access to hours and hours of bonus Mike, JF, and some other guys occasionally style content. THIS WEEK: The debut of a brand new segment...The 3 pack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

San Francisco: Where Ideas Take Flight! For more Nervous Horse Energy, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. And thanks to our friends Craig Dickman, Mark Brendle, and Lydia Burrell for the music. Very cool. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Spooky October kicks off with this little ditty you're REALLY gonna love. Mike and JF are talkin' discounted beers, they're talking Grenchell, they're talking offensive phone applications. What else is there? Hell, what else do you need? A plexiglass tray that folds out from your computer monitor so you can eat on it? Ok, fine!Well if you do think of anything else, you can check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and ask us and we will see if we can figure it out. Thank you to our friends Lydia Burrell and Mark Brendle for this week's music, as well. Thanks. Thank you. Goodbye Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if all it took to keep our kids safe from gun violence was an app? What if a wildly untalented rapper could ask for and receive $1MM for no clear reason? What if there were big hard wangs in the official emoji keyboard? Mike and JF, the wildest podcast pardners in the west, answer those questions and more on today's episode of Your Kickstarter Sucks. Plus, the return of Real or Fake (Stick Edition), a bunch of chair noises, and your letters. Check out Hollywood Handbook, the insider's guide to kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lined back hallways of this industry we call showbiz, on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. It's one hell of a program. And that's a fact.Also, the vast archive of YKS Premium is available for your listening pleasure over at patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. That money goes straight into my budget for buying boards and screwing them up onto my wall, so I highly encourage you to subscribe today. I need more boards! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

Wow! Episode 70! The number some people are saying is even funnier than the one before it. Incredible.Sure, on this episode, Mike and JF talk about Mike's old schoolboy days, draining the swump, and $150,000 audio systems in their friends' houses. But wow...70! Haha. The number of it. Dang.For more Adventures of Josek and CH4RL13 the droik, check out patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Over 50 references to contemporary Christian Rock await you!Music for YKS is courtesy of Drew Toothpaste, Lydia Burrell, and the smothered, covered, and capped Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bus People, Cathouse Appetizers, and Fat Guy Brass Knuckles; this episode's got it all. Thanks. Music for YKS is courtesy of Drew Toothpaste, Lydia Burrell/Howell Dawdy, and the scrupulous Mark Brendle. For more of this stuff, since you love it so much, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. At least a couple hours of stuff on there features waify internet dipshit Stefan Heck. And if you like that guy, it might be fun for you to hear him talk some more. It's not just him, though. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Former President Barack Obama joins the boys to talk tan jackets, NCAA brackets, and kicking butt while kicking butts, or how hard it REALLY is to run a country when you just want a hit of that classic stimulant, nicotine. PLUS! Actor Tom Cruise stops by to discuss the Univers(al)-building classic that wasn't, 2017's The Mummy, dish on the L. Ron Hubbard the public never really got to see, and taste test a cronut. Just kidding, it's the same two fat guys talking about the internet. Enjoy.For more bullshit we just make up, check out www.patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. It's essentially the same thing as the free one, but it costs money. Music for YKS is courtesy of Twitter's Lydia Burrell, Drew Toothpaste, and the onomatopoetic Mark Brendle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.