New Life Live With Steve Arterburn

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry Cloud shares the biggest lesson he’s learned from decades as an acclaimed psychologist, author, and leadership expert. Am I making the right decision to leave my husband of six years? He is a pastor but refuses to share his finances or provide financial support. My husband of 36 years is a high-functioning alcoholic. I tried to leave, but it caused constant conflict—how do I stop letting him push my buttons? I’m in a friendship with a Christian man who kisses me on the lips, and we give each other massages, but I want a committed relationship. Should I go no contact and move on?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses why parents need to allow their adult children to learn through natural consequences and be careful not to enable them. My husband asked for a divorce the day before Thanksgiving, and it scares me that his family might turn my kids against me. What should my next step be to connect with a woman in my Bible study who has anxiety? I asked her to go out to eat, but she canceled. My daughter is divorced from an abusive marriage, and she has recently been swept off her feet by a man who is here on a work visa. As a dad, what is my role? What is the next step after I had an affair 25 years ago that my husband keeps bringing up?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses common reasons marriages decay, with a focus on physical intimacy. How do I enjoy being close to my husband again when his anger and yelling make me withdraw from physical intimacy? I was married for 20 years, and my ex-husband said he was never physically attracted to me. Why would someone marry a spouse they aren’t attracted to? I believe my family may be involved with a harmful organization, and someone broke into my storage unit. I contacted the FBI, but nothing happened; what should I do next?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry Cloud discusses his personal journey of faith and how the science of psychology affirms the truth of the Bible. My 26-year-old son with Asperger’s lives with me after leaving the Army and often reacts strongly to what others say. His siblings want me to create a contract with him; how should I respond? My adult son struggles with alcohol and possibly Adderall. He becomes angry when I confront him. Is this my responsibility, or is it something he and his wife need to address? How do I help my 13-year-old son? His father is trying to coerce him into living with him, and my son has colitis and has said he doesn’t deserve to live.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui explains why it’s important to read Scripture for yourself; don’t let your Bible understanding come from the pulpit only. My husband and I have been living in separate rooms for 20 years, and I’m in recovery. How should I handle him being constantly angry at me? My brother has become a hoarder and has been scammed out of $400,000. What can I do to help him? I’m providing financially for my wife and want to make her happy, but she has served me divorce papers. Should I stop providing?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Laura discusses why love is free, but trust must be earned. What are the three key steps to rebuild trust after someone has hurt us? What are some practical tips for navigating parenting in a blended family? Our young adult daughters are struggling to begin launching into adulthood.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill explains why John Ortberg’s book Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough is a helpful reminder that the 12 Steps originated from the Bible and within a church community. I see how my mom was, and I don’t want to be like her. What do you recommend I do to reconnect with my husband if he thinks I’m a vacillator? I’m in my 60s, engaged, and want to do thorough premarital counseling, but my fiancé wants to move through it quickly.” My 7-year-old grandson has been touching his cousin inappropriately. My daughter is very defensive and lets him do what he wants—what should I do? What is wrong with me that I can’t stand up for myself with my boss and my boyfriend? My twin sister says she would never put up with what I put up with. The foster son I raised has moved to Texas, and it’s been an adjustment for me.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice explains responses like “You’re so sensitive” can be like poison ivy for a relationship because it comes across as defensive. I’m from a country where arranged marriages are common, and I married a man and moved to America. Am I wrong if I started seeing someone else while we were separated and want a divorce? Is it wrong to send money each month to my ungrateful brother? He was codependent with my mom and then deported to another country. After my mom revealed she was sexually abused and became pregnant with me, I lost all respect for my dad. As a Christian, how should I navigate this? My 8-year-old granddaughter with severe anxiety believes she’s going to hell because she hit her mom. What can I do? I used drugs since I was 8 years old, but I found Christ and walked away from drugs last August!

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares that there’s power in the story you tell yourself, but it can keep you stuck. I got married despite my mentors telling me not to, and my husband has anger issues and a hard time staying employed; how do I do this day in and day out? I walked in on my wife of 10yrs talking to a man on the phone, and I believe she’s cheating. Is this grounds for divorce? How do I learn to trust my current husband if my first husband was addicted to porn? I don’t know how to trust again.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how we all have emotional blind spots and why becoming defensive can block personal growth. My husband of 10yrs has struggled with a porn addiction that has escalated to massage parlors and voyeuristic behavior. We have young children—should I leave my marriage? I believe my wife shows narcissistic traits, and it feels like everything I do is wrong. How do I deal with a controlling spouse? I’ve been diagnosed with brain delirium and have intense anxiety. Could my anxiety be related to PTSD?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui explains how to pray and why your relationship with God matters. My daughter has asked me not to interact with my grandsons when they are with their father. Do I need to comply with her wishes? I recently discovered that my daughter was sexually abused by my son, beginning when she was 5 years old. Where do I even start? What does ‘one flesh’ in marriage really mean? Does it mean two individuals working together as a team, or does it mean the husband makes all the decisions? My accountant wants to borrow $1,000 from me and keep it a secret. What should I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ discusses how healthy relationships require personal responsibility and what each person must bring to the table in order to “live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). My husband believes our 28-year-old son who lives at home is not managing his spending well and needs to take responsibility, but I don’t agree. My 70-year-old husband is on his phone from morning until 2 a.m. and won’t help around the house; what advice do you have? I struggle to maintain boundaries with women, and it may have contributed to my wife divorcing me; have you seen this before? I quit drinking alcohol last year because of my wife, but over time what I’ve been viewing online has repeatedly damaged my marriage.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri discusses why we should offer words of affirmation to those around us. It’s really important to me to stand up for what I believe is right, but I received backlash after attending an event and speaking up. Should I help my daughter and son-in-law’s marriage? My son-in-law says she is showing symptoms of borderline personality disorder, similar to my ex-wife. I can’t let go of the feeling that it was my fault my 22-year-old son died by suicide in 2011. I live daily with the belief that I passed on my depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses Jehoshaphat and how God gives you the strength to fulfill your calling, but not God’s work. What are your thoughts on a boy under age 6 years old who wants to wear a princess dress at his cousin’s house and asks to put on makeup for play? How can I help my 27-year-old son find a stable job? He is living at home and has a felony record. I joined a church and told the pastor I wanted to get involved in outreach, but I haven’t heard back. Can a therapist help discern the truth in a marriage? I’m navigating a difficult marriage and recently lost my mom.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how to stop reacting and learn to start responding. How do you get your adult voice, like Marc talks about in Understanding Your Attachment Style? My parents never modeled it. How do I find connection after my sister was murdered? I’ve thought about suicide and think I should’ve been shot instead of her. I’m almost 60 years old and have such severe anxiety that I think I’m going to be put away; can you give me some direction?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui reminds us that the divisions in our churches are not as God intended. My adult son believes whatever his narcissistic father tells him—should I tell my son the truth? This is my third marriage, and my husband threatens to leave whenever we get into an explosive argument—how do I handle it? Both of my parents tried to kill me; how does this childhood trauma affect me today as an adult?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses a few words to use instead of “resolutions” and notes that it’s healthy to pause at this time of year to reflect. My daughter was a victim of sex trafficking at 14 years old and ten years later said she was pregnant, but we never saw proof. How can I stop caring so much about my adult daughter? She got involved with a man, ended up in jail, and now she and her son live with us. I am the mother of eight adult children who had a narcissistic father; what can I do to heal and renew my relationship with them? I’m in my 20s and struggling with a pornography addiction; what kind of help do I need?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky explains why she considers today “Mat Day” and why we must stop making excuses and pick up our mats and walk if we want to be well (John 5). How do I handle not being able to share community bread during communion at my new church? I sent my niece’s husband to Every Man’s Battle a year ago, and he came back a changed man! My wife hasn’t been intimate with me for 5 years; how do I deal with my anger and bitterness in a sexless marriage? Can someone who is a narcissist be truly saved?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky challenges us in the New Year to reduce the amount of time to get out of a bad state of mind with help from Ephesians 4. Should I separate from my husband to overcome my unforgiveness? My husband left a month ago; what can I do if he blames me and doesn’t like confrontation? How can I help my daughter-in-law? My son is a narcissist and verbally abusive to her.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses what it looks like for a parent to let go by offering their children freedom, and he gives the example of Jesus going missing when he was a child in Jerusalem. A few months ago, I realized I’m a covert narcissist, my family had me admitted to a mental health facility, and I threatened suicide; what do I do now? If I receive a blessing from God, but then turn around and don’t accept the blessing; do you have any insight into that? I’m a single mom in love with a man in meth recovery, and I struggle with anxious attachment; what can I do? My bipolar nephew and his pregnant wife moved in with my stepmother and me; since it’s her house, am I supposed to stand up for her?