The Look & Sound Of Leadership

A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message. This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively? Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF.In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions.This episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Communication SkillsFeedbackManaging UpFive related episodes you might listen to are:74 Dealing with Emotional Responses14 Delivering Tough Feedback32 Giving Powerful Feedback118 Perception is Reality99 The Disruptive Executive – Part OneBe in touch with Tom here. Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! 

Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like.Resources for Building Your Networking SkillsLeverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report.Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network”Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”10 Rules for NetworkingLink to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools binSorting & LabelingLink to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools binThe Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality”The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise”This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:For WomenRelationship BuildingSocial SkillsFive episodes to grow your networking skills: 162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage180 - Becoming Expert193 - Branding Yourself176 - The Executive Impostor192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020Grab a free transcript of this episode here. Be in touch

An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode:The purpose of networking is to know people.Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship.Make networking 5% of your job every week.Networking makes you a more valuable employee.Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself.Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey. COACHES!Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/Be in touch with Tom here.Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”  This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:For WomenRelationship BuildingSocial SkillsFive episodes to grow your networking skills: 42 - The Art of Chat58 - Elevator Spe

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your NervesHere is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.For Coaches! 2 Resources!1.  Coaching Stories Podcast2.  Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given!Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:Managing YourselfNervousnessSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: Act “As If”Choosing PersistenceConquering FearThe Executive ImpostorThe Many Parts of YouGrab a free transcript of the episode here. Our monthly Essential News email pro

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here.Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership. G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:For WomenManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: 188 Boundaries165 The Conflict Conversation220 Holding Boundaries219 How to Set Boundaries116 Speaking Your Truth Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:AssertivenessFeedbackManagement SkillsFive episodes you might listen to are:#47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors#18 Holding People Accountable#138 Managing Disruptive Executives#127 Managing Performance: Up or Out#65 Sorting & LabelingA free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essen

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon’t Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance ExecutiveLooking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:For WomenPerception – how you perceive othersRelationship BuildingHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:188 - Boundaries210 - How to grow your self-management67 - “I hate politics”142 - The Mindful Executive121 - Your Goodwill Bank AccountOur monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Let us know how we can support you.Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:Self-TalkLeadershipFor WomenHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:187 - Agreeable Disagreement215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire192 - Pursuing a Promotion207 - Tough Conversations67 - “I Hate Politics”Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.JAPAN!Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! [email protected] us know how we can support you.Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership,  be well! And thanks! 

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;Develop your comfort with disagreement.The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsSpecific episodes that will help you develop your team are:Facilitating Open DialogueHow Teams FightLeadership Behavior in

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:ConflictThe Conflict ConversationCreating Safety for Hard TalksA Difficult ConversationResolving ConflictEvery month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:Conquer catastrophic thinking;Use fewer words;Value relationships as highly as results;Don’t take anything personally;Commitment to Development;Reflection;Speak for Yourself.Resources to develop those last three:Commitment to DevelopmentThe Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skillsFour Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills [email protected] – my email address if you want help thinking about your own developmentThe Ability to ReflectMindfulness ResourcesBuilding Self-AwarenessSpeak for YourselfThe Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”Episodes to build assertion:Showing TeethThe Voice of AuthorityAssertion v Aggression This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:Exe

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:Communication SkillsManagement Skills Relationship BuildingFive specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:7 Steps to Stop Emotional HijacksBe Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive BehaviorsManaging Bad BehaviorManaging Disruptive ExecutivesSign up to

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.Lots and lots of tools and resources this month:Free downloads:The Feeling Words GridEQ ModelBooks and papers to sharpen your skills“Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success” “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”“Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”“Executive Presence” from Center for Talent InnovationThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Executive PresenceManaging YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentFive episodes to help you command a room:109 Building Emotional Intelligence 146 Building Empathy155 The Human Element69 Leadership & Self-Deception17 Speaking for Yourself Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.Our deepest gratitude to those who post revi

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad.In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about:“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184Executive Coaching Special Interest GroupThe Feeling Word GridThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you manage during difficult times:109 - Building Emotional Intelligence52 - Coaching versus Therapy152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”171 - Taming the Wild ChildAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound o

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.”In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed:Vocal varietyExpect resistanceRhythmVolumePitchThis episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas.The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txoThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation SkillsFive episodes to help you command a room:186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence120 Captivate Your Audience77 The Power of Rehearsal64 I  Talk Too Fast!34 Keeping Repeated Material FreshAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles.There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsPerception – How You’re PerceivedFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Engagement & Performance138Managing Disruptive Executives140 Showing Teeth148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityMuch gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words.Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters.This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsRelationship BuildingFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Dynamic One-on-Ones138How Teams Fight179 Managing Former Peers148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityWe are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us. Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work.A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself.The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix.The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool.This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Developing New BehaviorsManaging YourselfSelf-TalkHere are five episodes to help you get unstuck: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks*Blind SpotsHow to Build Self-Awareness*How to Grow your Self-Management*How to Show Up* Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode.We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all! All the best,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices.We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself.The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18sThis current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentIn addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are:   102 – Getting Unstuck210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management63 – Positive Opposites154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs190 – Thinking ErrorsSafe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year! With gratitude,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.