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Happy and DON’T Know it? I can’t remember her name, but I can tell you she was not a happy person.   I arrived for a class reunion on a hot, hazy, and humid Virginia day. As I stepped toward the check-in table, a friend of more than thirty years locked eyes with me, broke into tears, and screamed— “Oh, Scott… can you help me?”  Next, she bolted out of her seat, ran around the table, and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me… and hugged me.   This is not the first time this has happened, and as a professional, I knew what I would say, “Of course I’ll help. Just let me get settled.“  Frankly, I was buying time to figure out why somebody I have never known not to be happy was acting unhappy.  What had changed? Nothing. My friend found herself a full-fledged member of The Always Club, as in “I always wanted to be thin and in shape… I always wanted to find my purpose in life… I always wanted to make more money… I always… I was a member of The Always Club, along with about a gazillion other folks trying to figure

What Do You Want For Christmas? Last year, sometime between Halloween and Thanksgiving, I found myself finishing leftover candy and biting into a Jolly Rancher - a recipe for disaster for anybody with a mouth full of dental work.  As you might have predicted, it wasn't long before I was at the dentist. I don't like dentists much. Maybe it was because, as a kid, our family dentist was Dr. PAIN… uh… Dr. Payne. Still, there I was with the sound of drilling and suction filling the room, along with the occasional mumbled answer coming from my mouth, answering important questions like, "What have you been up to lately?" Then tell me not to move my mouth. Seriously?  Is that a skill they teach at dental school?  Please wait until your patient can't speak and ask them a question.  That's like me asking my young kids a question at the dinner table and telling them not to chew with their mouths open. But that's life.  Sometimes, life doesn't make sense, even though I would argue that things are always good, which is wh

How to Live an ALL IN Life I want to become the person I am meant to be. That’s something that I hear daily in my life from people all over the world. Frankly, beyond living a joyful life, I can’t think of anything more important than growing to become who you know you are. Most people tend to work in different areas of their life. All will say that family and friends are the most important, but they tend to focus on their career and legacy - especially after the kids move out. But here is a problem… For many years, most people, including myself, tended to get lost in developing specific areas of their lives while others were on hold. While outwardly successful, they wouldn’t be on the phone with me if everything was going perfectly. It’s not; it’s hit or miss, causing sleepless nights. A solution is an ALL-IN approach to living. Over time, I’ve developed the solid belief that whatever you deem as the ultimate best use of your life will only happen after you have evolved every area of your life - and do it ev

From Scarcity To Abundance I will let it rip and admit that I have a personality trait that doesn’t always serve me. Well, maybe I have several? Still, there is a big one that I’m always working to eliminate. I’m a thinker, and I like to ponder ideas, take my time, and know my path before I get to it. I’m also a guy who locks in on what works and holds on like a Pit Bull with a Ribeye—holding on tends to favor iteration but gets in the way of a more significant change. Now, it’s entirely possible that you would see those traits as good. After all, it’s the rituals of life that make life good. You’re right. Still… Going for big stuff takes commitment and a bit of confidence, risk tolerance, and maybe a couple of glasses of wine. You might also have to release your safety blanket because it could hold you back. It all comes down to scarcity. A few days ago, I reached out to clients and asked - “How do you define scarcity?” Predictably, most described it as not having enough of what they wanted. They also descri

It's Time to Get Off The Fence Okay, I'm feeling a little bit lazy today, so I will cut to the chase and bestow upon you the secret to success you've been seeking.  Success requires that you do the hard work.  It doesn't take a scientist to figure out that if you want more, you will have to do something to get it. Still, we live in a world that makes it seem like it should be easier, and it's not. Success takes a lot of hard work - even if you don't see it. Successful YouTubers make it look easy - after thousands of hours of trial and error. Musicians seemingly live their dream - after years of living in a tour bus and making pennies. Even people who do nothing but accept the generosity of society to make their way are working hard at a life you would never want. It doesn't matter what you want, good or bad, prosperous or not, happy or sad; it will take a lot of work to accomplish it. If you have a choice, and you do, why wouldn't you choose to work hard to bring goodness into your life? You become interested

Universe Whispering In Your Ear Does the Universe whisper to you? Before I go on, you need to know that I can go pretty deep into the world of woo-woo in my beliefs. Still, the real-world dude in me makes me realize that while it may be fun to ride a unicorn to the coffee shop, I haven’t yet been able to request one from Uber.  You may believe that your life is already planned for you or that you can ask for what you to manifest. In any case, you can’t deny that something is whispering directions to you all day long. Are you listening? While there are many ways people seek to receive messages of guidance as we make life decisions, my favorite has always been events that occur in triplicate. If something happens three times, I pay attention. Call me hard-headed, distracted, or set in my ways, but life has taught me that wisdom tends to come in whispers - usually when our thoughts are screaming in our heads and drowning out our dreams. Now, let me be clear... A friend calling three times to go out on the town d

Empowering Emotional Triggers I love it when we miraculously put together the perfect day, and life decides to get in the way.  Well, it's not life, and maybe I don't love it, but occasionally, something or someone will cross your path get in your way. I don't know anybody who doesn't get hit smack in the face with a situation that triggers a feeling deep inside their soul, stirs emotion, and results in a reaction or response that makes you say, "Why did I say that?" Of course, we are emotional creatures, so it makes sense that robust emotional responses are a thing for most of us. Still, common sense will tell you it doesn't always serve us. It gets even worse when people sedate their emotions to protect themselves. Not only do they miss great opportunities, but when they are triggered, it becomes an 8.0 earthquake. So, how do you deal with it? The way I handle it is to understand that triggers usually happen when I least expect them. Still, my ScottLOGIC tells me that once I experience the trigger and learn

Too Many Choices Mean No Choice My wife and I were looking for something on Netflix and found ourselves repeating the scroll several times. Finally, the screen changed, and the graphic offered us a choice. It said, "just play something?" Yes, please. Just play something so I can put the remote control down and get back to petting my dog. Thinking back on the moment, I was reminded of a book I read long ago. In 2005, Barry Schwartz wrote Paradox of Choice. It challenged the traditional thinking that maximizing choice is the way to maximum freedom.   It may feel good, but too many choices lead to decision fatigue. Yes, too many choices are not necessarily good, and they can create paralysis. No matter what you choose, you'll always wonder if you could have done better. Here's my advice to you: 1) Limit your choices. Having every option won't serve you. Narrow your list to things that truly get your attention.  2) If you find yourself confused, permit yourself to try other options. 3) If in doubt, choose to spen

Clearing Your Clutter I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years and lead to frustration as you long for something else.  I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.  After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange b

Slow Dow To Speed Up I was riding my Harley-Davidson Road King a few days ago when my mind suddenly thought - “The Chinese Philosophical concept of Yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.” What? What? Huh? Okay. I wasn’t that details until a bit later and some Googling. Still - It happened right before the Daytona Speedway and was thinking about the advice I give my clients about slowing down. It goes like this - “You must slow down to get what you want.” Advice like that is why I get the big bucks for what I do. No, not really. I get paid because nobody believes me, and it’s up to me to prove it. Let’s go riding. Whenever I’m cruising on my motorcycle, I love fast and loud because it makes me smile. That’s the Yin of riding a bike, but you can only go fast and loud for so long before the light turns red in front of you or blue behind you.   Occasionally, the place you were speeding toward gets congested, and you hav

Success From Habitat "You need to get out of your comfort zone to succeed!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Thankfully, that silly advice is something I've only accepted a couple of times. I wouldn't say I liked every second of it; I ran right back into what makes me comfortable as soon as I could, and I have never told anybody to leave their comfort zone. "But, Scott? Isn't getting out of your comfort zone how you get what you want?" Yes, and no. Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that you should continually be expanding the limits of your comfort zone to grow into the next chapter of your life. I think you should be pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone until you feel the bubble around you about to burst.  Why do I believe this so strongly? Because you will never perform to your full potential if you are not comfortable with your situation, environment, skill set, and just about anything else.  Yes, you will do things that scare you occasionally, but you will only grow when the dram

Secret to Find Your Passion What do I want to be when I grow up?  The first time you ask yourself that question is when you are very young - if you ever asked it. Frankly, somebody else usually asks you, and you probably didn't have an answer and just took off running with this thing called life.  And then it happens — Forty or fifty years later, people start asking themselves that question again after a family and career. The lucky ones don't confine it until they retire; they question who they are. It can be a scary time. If you are looking for a change in your life, here are a few things to understand— You can't move forward by hanging on to what you have.  Remember, you get more of what you focus on in your life. If you focus on what you give up, you'll get more. Instead, you must focus on the unknown future and look for clues about what you will do. I call the process "Exploring Your Possibilities. Imagine if anything is possible and there is no limitation or consequence. There is no commitment required,

Relative Time Management  In my entire life, I've always found it interesting that there never seems to be enough time in the day. Still, most days, everything seems to get done. If it doesn't, the world didn't end, and I survived to check off another item from my to-do list tomorrow. I know I'm not the first human on the planet to face the problem of time, but I think I'm one of those smartypants who have figured out how our time works in real life. And it was 180 degrees from what I felt that time was all about. How you look at time is about to change. First, when you run as fast as possible to get things done, time moves quicker, and things get done. But with every minute filled, there is never enough time to do the things that make your heart sing. If you're like me, that will eventually lead you to sabotage your list so you can do something fun for yourself. It's a never-ending cycle. On the other hand, when you slow down, hold space for yourself, and focus on results relevant to your goals, time slows d

Positive, Practical, and Peaceful I must admit that I get in trouble because some of the ScottLOGIC that comes out of my mouth doesn’t sit well with many folks these days - and they let me know.  One of the biggest comments… “You seem like such a positive guy, and then it’s like something clicks in your head and goes negative and ruins my day.”  While I don’t think I ever go negative, I’ve heard that many times.  Here’s the thing… It would be easy for me to get caught in the feel-good trap of chasing positivity - if only for being positive. But I’m not interested in that. I am interested in the results.  That is a peaceful, content, joyful, and meaningful life.  If you’ve been alive for over a couple of decades, you know all of that is found lurking in the truth. That’s why I consider myself a practical, positive guy, and you should too.  I believe an optimistic attitude is power in life; I also think that you can never be truly happy until you are willing to dig deep into the not-so-positive challenges in li

Diving Face-First Into Your Dreams “Please! Can somebody stop the world? I want to get off!” Okay. Just for you, I pressed the magic button, and the world stopped.  What are you going to do now? If you don’t have an answer, there’s no need to freak out. It’s common for people to get slowed down and think about what their life could be like, and I have no idea. But let’s say you are one of the few who decide the time to turn directly into the challenge. Many years ago, I adopted a philosophy that became the driver that would change everything. I decided to always turn face-first into any challenge between me and my dreams. Yes, I would face my passion head-on and do whatever it takes to make it real.  Do you know what happened next? I tripped, stumbled, and fell into a pile of my own crumbled dreams. That’s when I realized that deciding to face your passion was only the beginning. Before you can face your passion and live your dreams, a few more things must be faced first. You must face your stress. You must f

Why Will Power Will Wear You Out When will you get to do what you want to do?  More people than you know lose sleep over that question. If that sounds like something you have experienced, you’re not alone.  Almost everybody begins their journey when a thought pops into their mind. Then, day-to-day life keeps them busy, and they spend frustrating months fixin’ to get ready. You know, starting to prepare… so you can begin to do… so you can do… and say you did.  If that doesn’t work, you summon your friend, Will Power.  Will is not a person, but more like a kind of friend that you don’t know why you keep letting into your life. They are a bit slacker, live rent-free in your mind, say they want to help, and never deliver on their promise. Will’s job description should read -- to force you to do things you say you want to do but can’t get yourself to do. When you give up, Will leaves. The good news is, there’s no need to force yourself to do anything. Achieving your biggest goals in life has nothing to do with wil

Joyful Leftovers Happiness When I began training and competing with my dog in agility, I made a rookie dog trainer mistake. I wasn't consistent, and my dog was getting confused. One day, my trainer said,  "For a dog, one time means all the time. They will keep doing something new every time you let them do something new." As silly as it sounds, that came to mind a couple of weeks ago when my wife, a creature of routine and habit, did the same thing. We held Thanksgiving for our family at our home, and Joi's training kicked in instantly— "I like everybody coming, but what about leftovers? They need leftovers?" As a guy who has experienced Joi's "No eating out at the restaurant until all the leftovers are gone" rule, I knew this was a big issue. But, like a good husband, I got out of the way and let her figure it out. A day before the big day, I watched her bring two turkeys into our home and start cooking one of them — something I'd never seen before. After cooking the bird, Joi sliced it up, divided it into i

Creating a Wonderful Life With the holiday season on its way, wouldn't it be great if you received the gift of the wonderful life of your dreams?   What if you could have lots of free time, less stress, more money, and great relationships?   In my years of coaching folks all over the world, I've learned a few things about lifestyle design: 1) Everything begins when you become aware of what you want and accept that it's up to you. 2) If you believe your dream can be real as soon as you start living it - it will be. 3) You are the Boss of you, so there's no reason for a delay. Stop planning and start doing. Forget wishing, hoping, and dreaming. Start with little bits of happiness and work toward living your dream daily.  Most people are drifting in the winds of life. True happiness arrives when you start driving through life. Living your wonderful life is entirely up to you. Be aware of the desired change; believe it can be yours, and start living it now.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/ad

Wisdom to be Thankful For I woke up this morning with a zest to expand my feeling of gratefulness. Well, is not so much to grow as to recognize all the things I am grateful for but haven’t thought about lately. That’s the thing about living in a fast-paced world where our daily activities, big and small, fly by and are quickly forgotten. It’s always been that way. There is nothing new in the world. That got me thinking about some of my favorite quotes — “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Brault As a no-regrets guy, I admit to sometimes not living in gratitude. Thankfully, the wisdom of others is always making sure I remember what is essential— “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”—Frank A. Clark “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” —Eckhart Tolle “Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” —Estonian Pro

Did Your Motivation Get Lost? Where the heck did my week go?  With a long weekend in sight, I’m a bit worn our from projects I’ve been working on, but my mind I moving to eating turkey and riding the motorcycle mode. Monday is coming - right? We can get going again. Wait. How will we stay focused, progress toward our goals, and get important stuff done if we run out of juice before the week is over?  Why does that early week motivation that has our hair on fire run out before I finish everything?  Okay, let’s cover two things.  The first is a myth but I’ll correct it for you. 1) Motivation is a finite resource that will fade. On average, your brain runs out of motivational calories after about 48 hours of focused work - a belief that has been held for years. It’s not true. Motivation doesn’t fade, as a human, you just get tired. 2) God willing, no matter how much you don’t get done this week, there is always the next week in your future. Yes, another Monday is coming. What doesn’t get done this week will get