We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, Listener Request Month rolls on as the gang takes a trip to foggy San Francisco for a ride along with Dirty Harry Callahan in the super silly, super murder-y The Dead Pool! What's with the useless C-grade mafia story line? Has there ever been another instance of a ponytail being used as a red herring? And were they really trying to tell us that Johnny Squares wrote "Welcome to the Jungle" and sang exactly like Axl Rose? PLUS: Dirty Harry fights zombies, joking robots and negligent salad bar attendants! The Dead Pool stars Clint Eastwood, Patricia Clarkson, Liam Neeson, Evan C. Kim, David Hunt and James Carrey; directed by Buddy Van Horn. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

As the new Listener Request Month rolls on, the gang heads to the Land of Made for Television to discuss the totally creepy, porn panic Lifetime Movie, Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life! What's with starting this film like it's Sunset Boulevard? How does Justin forget to close that door multiple times? And what's with that porno party? PLUS: Someone saying, "Green Day rules," in 2005? Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life stars Jeremy Sumpter, Kelly Lynch, Lyndsy Fonseca, John Robinson and Nicole Dicker; directed by Tom McLoughlin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the season premiere of Animation Damnation, the gang takes a look at an off-the-wall episode of Speed Racer where a grown man rides around on horseback whipping cars in his town. The episode in question is "The Car Hater" which originally aired December 15th, 1967. Why are these hillbillies immediately ready to murder Speed and Trixie? What good does this horse-riding lunatic think he's doing? And where are the triple life sentences for all of these criminals by the end of this rampage? PLUS: The guys all realize that this is pretty great cartoon. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the season six premiere of We Hate Movies, the gang kicks off an all-new Listener Request Month with a title that is, in the loosest sense of the word, a movie - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation! What is with the instant Johnny Cage murder? How did the producer's let Christopher Lambert get away? And why, oh why, did we need these robots running around? PLUS: Your mom's new boyfriend would be real creepy if he was played by James Remar. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation stars Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, James Remar, Sandra Hess, Brian Thompson and Litefoot; directed by John R. Leonetti. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: February 7th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "I convinced myself I liked this movie for five years." - Steve Sajdak "We just watched it…I can’t tell you what this movie’s about!" - Andrew Jupin "He’s nothing but goddamn sight gags. He’s always just falling over himself. How is that a leader?" - Eric Szyszka on Jar Jar Binks' unearned promotion at the end of the film. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace stars Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Terence Stamp, Ray Park and Samuel L. Jackson; directed by George Lucas. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: December 11th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "If you're Jewish, run from this film... Run screaming!" - Chris Cabin "Why just play one role in a movie, Adam Sandler, when you can play several roles in a movie?" - Andrew Jupin "It's just a bunch of shit jokes." - Steve Sajdak Eight Crazy Nights stars Adam Sandler, Kevin Nealon, Jon Lovitz, Austin Stout, Jackie Sandler and Sweet Robbie Schneider; directed by Seth Kearsley. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: November 8th, 2011 What the gang thought of the film: "He’s just a big turd in this movie" - Steve Sajdak, on Rob Schneider's presence in the film. "It’s the biggest codpiece I’ve ever seen!" - Andrew Jupin, on, well, Stallone's codpiece. "It’s on them when I empty my bowels as I’m hung. Load me up with Taco Bell? I win!" - Eric Szyszka, on being executed in the Demolition Man future. Judge Dredd stars Sylvester Stallone, Rob Schneider, Diane Lane, Armand Assante, Jürgen Prochnow, Joan Chen, and Max von Sydow; directed by Danny Cannon. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: December 4th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "If anyone can handle a Fuck You, it's George Lucas." - Andrew Jupin "They should've just... Not done it." Eric Szyszka "It's definitely The Gobbler who's to blame for this, I feel." - Chris Cabin "What happened? Did life get in the way?" - Steve Sajdak on why they didn't crank out five Indy films in the 80s as originally planned. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull stars Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf, Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Jim Broadbent; directed by Steven Spielberg. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: May 14th, 2014  What the gang thought of this cartoon episode: "You wanna give Ed Harris a heart attack, this is how you do it." - Chris Cabin "There's no fat G.I. Joes, huh?" - Steve Sajdak "Uh, it takes place in America!" - Andrew Jupin Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Original Air Date: May 22nd, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "This movie is about an ice cream fight!" - Steve Sajdak "That means this pain in the ass kid is officially homeless, which means it's either the orphanage or the fucking gas chamber!" - Andrew Jupin "I'm sure, at the very least, that pirate hasn't been paying taxes!" - Eric Szyszka The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking stars Tami Erin, David Seaman, Cory Crow, Eileen Brennan, Dennis Dugan, George DiCenzo, and Dick Van Patten; directed by Ken Annakin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Recorded live at the Lily Pad in Cambridge, Massachusetts - March 21st, 2015 On the WHM season finale, the guys are in Cambridge to talk about one of the absolute worst comic book movies on record, 2011's Green Lantern! How many times did we need to see Hal Jordan's dad burst into flames? Why did Abin Sur think Hal was the right man for the job out of the billions of people on the planet? And what was up with Hector Hammond and all that sauerkraut? PLUS: Extended discussion about the Flash, his television show, and Gorilla Grodd for some reason. Green Lantern stars Ryan Reynolds, Peter Sarsgaard, Blake Lively, Tim Robbins, Mark Strong, Angela Bassett, Jay O. Sanders, Clancy Brown, Geoffrey Rush, and the great Michael Clarke Duncan; directed by Martin Campbell. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the penultimate episode of the 2015 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza, the gang tackles possibly the worst adaptation of Alan Moore's work yet, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen! Why does Mr. Hyde look like a giant man-ape? What's with Dorian Gray being such a sleaze? And who in their right mind was asking for Tom Sawyer?! PLUS: The gang bids a fond, if temporary, farewell to one of their own. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen stars Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Tony Curran, Stuart Townsend, Shane West, Jason Flemyng, and Richard Roxburgh; directed by Stephen Norrington. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this special edition of WHM Mail Bag, Andrew and Eric take a look at a selection of letters from summer camp! Well, not actually from a summer camp, but the letters are about some insane summer camp experiences!   This is the last Mail Bag of the season, gang, so head into the woods and proceed with caution -- some of these stories are OUT there! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

As the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza winds down, the gang tackles the worst part of one of the biggest movie franchises, The Matrix Revolutions! Why did they think it was a good idea to have all sorts of important story elements play out in video games no one wanted? Did we need to meet this many members of Dozer's family? And what's with all the sex clubs? PLUS: The one who owns all the Sunglass Hut franchises in the Matrix is truly The One. The Matrix Revolutions stars Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Harry Lennix, Harold Perrineau, Jada Pinkett Smith and Bruce Spence; directed by The Wachowskis. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the season finale of Animation Damnation, the gang's all here to analyze the horrendous social inequality in Disney's DuckTales! How were the ducks allowed to take so much power over the dogs and the nearly extinct pigs? Why did those little ducks think starting a massive fire in a dirigible was a good idea? And what was with that duck mummy? PLUS: The guys all try on Huey, Dewey, and Louie impressions! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls on with the dragon-packed, action-packed, buddy comedy, DragonHeart! What is the accent Quaid is spitting out here? What's with the dragon flap that Connery keeps flipping open? And is this knight the best hero we could get? PLUS: We all know that if you find a dragon heart, you eat it immediately. DragonHeart stars Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery, David Thewlis, Dina Meyer, Brian Thompson and Julie Christie; directed by Rob Cohen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Our Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls on as we take a look at a pretty silly sequel, 2003's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines! How lame is it to have Sarah Connor die from leukemia instead of going out in a blaze of glory like she deserves to? What's with all the lame comedy - including "Talk to the hand!" - peppered throughout this film? And how did we not figure out a way to get Robert Patrick in this movie? PLUS: Give it a rest with that boob joke! Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Claire Danes, Nick Stahl and Kristanna Loken; directed by Jonathan Mostow. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this edition of WHM Mail Bag the gang reads emails from people recalling strange tales of movie theater creeps during bad Eastwood movies, hilarious run-ins with the legendary Pat Hingle, and one listener who allowed Stealth to be a loose acquaintance's last film on this earth. PLUS: Eric & Andrew shun Roy Scheider's widow.  If you have a strange story, odd tale or total creep-out yarn you want us to read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: [email protected]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, Steve's brother Mark drops by and the gang gets completely turned around in the world of Pokémon! Admitting up front to nothing less than complete ignorance to the franchise, the guys raise questions like, what happens when a pokémon loses? Does it die? How come some pokémon can talk and some cannot? Why are those two boys attracted to that ghost? Do pokémon have individual rights? PLUS: The power of Christ compels you, Ghastly!    Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang hangs out at the bottom of the barrel with Son of the Mask! Did literally every comic actor in Hollywood turn this down? Which accent is Kal Penn going with? And why are we dragging in all this pointless Norse mythology? PLUS: Chris reveals a discovery so shocking, the rest of the gang is left speechless! Son of the Mask stars Jamie Kennedy, Alan Cumming, Traylor Howard, Steven Wright, Kal Penn, Bob Hoskins, and America's headache, Ben Stein; directed by Lawrence Guterman. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies