We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, it's a real We ❤️ Movies situation as the gang casts a spell over 1980's suburbia in the cheese-fest teen comedy, Teen Witch! What would a girl-centric Teen Wolf have looked like? Could that sexophone get any sexier? And how was that teacher not fired immediately? PLUS: JFK's ghost haunts the Bush I White House! Teen Witch stars Robyn Lively, Zelda Rubinstein, Dan Gauthier, Mandy Ingber, Shelley Berman, Marcia Wallace & Dick Sargent; directed by Dorian Walker. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang tackles the homophobic, racist, sexist cinematic cesspool that is 1989's Loverboy! What's with those gross fake mustaches in that pizzeria? Why does that delivery guy instantly turn into T-1000? And how in the world would this girl even consider getting back together with this gigolo? PLUS: Will Riker has a real problem with Troi's guest list for their wedding. Loverboy stars Patrick Dempsey, Kate Jackson, Dylan Walsh, Barbara Carrera, Robert Picardo, Kirstie Alley and Carrie Fisher; directed by Joan Micklin Silver. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag episode, the gang discusses movies ruined by awkward parents, adulterous trips to roller coaster parks and the tale of Andrew's weird, late night encounter with legendary film critic, Gene Shalit is finally told!   Do you have a burning question for the WHM gang? Is there a bizarre story you want to share on the air? Then write in to the WHM Mail Bag - [email protected]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang mellows out with an episode of the stoner-friendly children's cartoon, Denver the Last Dinosaur. The episode under review is "Denver Makes the Grade" which originally aired October 15th, 1988. On this episode, we try to answer questions like: Just how high are these kids? Why would bullies and stoners care so much about winning a science fair? Where are these kids' parents? And is that Larry Clark lurking in the background? PLUS: Turns out they were just watching The Flintstones the whole time! For more information on Animation Damnation, check out our Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this very special 200th episode, the gang's all here to discuss two of their favorite show-fodder actors, Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Belushi in Walter Hill's Chicago-set, international incident-causing, blowhard-blabbering Red Heat! Just marvel at how good this film makes the Soviet Union look! And why was Jim Belushi chosen as the ambassador for America in this? PLUS: Check out that nude bath house fight! Red Heat stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Larry Fishburne, Brion James and Gina Gershon; directed by Walter Hill. WHM would definitely not have gone this far were it not for listeners like you. We're so excited to hit this milestone, but even more excited for what's to come. Thanks so much for listening and continue to help us spread the good WHM word! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang swaps faces with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage in the insane 90's action flick, Face/Off! Why not just suck it up and set this film in the future? Why give Travolta a haircut after you cut his face off? And how was Joan Allen not hip to the alternate genitalia? PLUS: Sequel when? Face/Off stars John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon, Alessandro Nivola, Dominique Swain and Nick Cassavetes; directed by John Woo. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang goes to court with Demi Moore and Alec Baldwin in the ridiculous legal thriller, The Juror! Why does Alec Baldwin's mafia fixer character have a Jackal-esque nickname? Could Anne Heche be a bigger Dead Meat side character? And what is with all the box puns? PLUS: That. Dragon. Video game. The Juror stars Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anne Heche, Tony Lo Bianco, Lindsay Crouse, Michael Rispoli and the legendary James Gandolfini; directed by Brian Gibson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang heads to Chicago by way of Kentucky to roughhouse with Patrick Swayze and Liam Neeson in the action packed family drama, Next of Kin! How many ponytails does Swayze have going at once here? Why cast Liam Neeson as a man born and bred in the rich hills of Kentucky coal country? And why is the Chicago mafia specializing in cigarette dispensers and pinball machines? PLUS: Is that noted comedian Ben Stiller playing a Sicilian gangster? Next of Kin stars the legendary Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Bill Paxton, Ben Stiller, Helen Hunt, Michael J. Pollard and Internet madman, Adam Baldwin; directed by John Irvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this WHM Mail Bag, the gang talks about weird dog walking incidents, horrendous teachers (it never ends!) and even a few awkward projection booth nightmares.  Do you have a question for the WHM gang? Or maybe a bizarre movie-related story or show-inspired tale you'd like to share? Then write in to the Mail Bag - [email protected]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang hits the foggy streets of San Francisco to track down a serial killer with Ashley Judd and Andy Garcia in the totally macho cop flick, Twisted! Oh, of course we start with the creepy character actor from Se7en! How does Ashley Judd not figure out something's up with that wine? And how bad must Andy Garcia's apartment smell being near all those sea lions?! PLUS: Hey, fuck you, Delmarco! Twisted stars Ashely Judd, Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson, David Strathairn, Camryn Manheim, Mark Pellegrino, Titus Welliver and Se7en and The Guest's Leland Orser; directed by Philip Kaufman. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang talk about an episode of the recycling superhero adventure show, Captain Planet and the Planeteers! The episode in question is "Talkin' Trash" which originally aired November 13th, 1993. What were the odds we found the one episode of this show with the least amount of Captain Planet? Did we really need the L.A. riots to be "tackled" on this cartoon? And did that kid really fall off a train and die? For more information about Animation Damnation subscribe on Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang heads to the surface of the moon to tackle the low budget, sci-fi dud, Moontrap! How do you not cast Bruce Campbell as your hotshot hero? Why couldn't they do at least one scene with rear projection instead of small, toy models? And what the hell is that thing sitting on Chekov's head? PLUS: Coming this summer, Walter Koenig stars in, Tiny Die Hard! Moontrap stars Walter Koenig, the great Bruce Campbell and Leigh Lombardi; directed by Robert Dyke, written by Tex Ragsdale which is, without a doubt, the greatest name of all time. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang takes a look at Whoopi Goldberg's Beverly Hills Cop knock-off, Fatal Beauty! Is this as conspicuous as an undercover detective can get? Why was that gentleman eating glass? And once Cher dropped out and the Whoopster was cast, why didn't they change the character from being Italian? PLUS: The guys find Sam Elliot's lion mane... Hypnotic. Fatal Beauty stars Whoopi Goldberg, Sam Elliot, Rubén Blades, Harris Yulin, James Le Gros and Brad Dourif; directed by Tom Holland. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang joins the Sideshow Network just in time to discuss the totally lame and completely joke-less sequel, Teen Wolf Too! Who was demanding sports stay in the story? Is Michael J. Fox's character supposed to be dead in this movie? And who on Earth would think it's a good idea to befriend Stiles? PLUS: The show's recorded in New York, which means it's time, once again, to yell at people out the window! Teen Wolf Too stars Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin, Paul Sand, James Hampton, Mark Holton, Estee Chandler and Stuart Fratkin as "Stiles"; directed by Christopher Leitch. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang takes apart the dull-as-dirt Michael Keaton ghost movie, White Noise! How famous does an author have to be before getting their disappearance covered on national news? Why doesn't Michael Keaton's character immediately call the cops on this EVP "expert"? And were they serious with that construction worker? PLUS: A major show development is revealed! White Noise stars Michael Keaton, Ian McNeice, Deborah Kara Unger and Chandra West; directed by Geoffrey Sax. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang reads letters from fans who flipped the "What Are YOU Watching?" trope on its head, got sent to the library basement with a Russian war films on VHS and who once had a history teacher conduct a very inappropriate "contest" in class. If you want your hilarious, weird or socially awkward story read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: [email protected]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang breaks the infamous Ten Year Rule to dissect the delayed, but insane, Seventh Son! Julianne Moore as a witch, or whatever? Jeff Bridges as a witch slayer, or whatever? And what's with Jon Snow at the beginning? PLUS: He was The Dude, goddammit! Seventh Son stars Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Ben Barnes, Olivia Williams and Kit Harington -- briefly; directed by Sergey Bodrov. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys tackle an episode of Captain N: The Game Master entitled, "Happy Birthday, Megaman". Why does Megaman look and sound like a talking garbage can? Why is Simon Belmont acting like a snooty Johnny Bravo? And who is that Princess? PLUS: Welcome to The Pleasure Zone! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang gets all Father Merrin as they attempt to exorcise the silly Exorcist wannabe, Stigmata! Well before her Boyhood nomination, Patricia Arquette starred in a film with music by Billy Corgan and wardrobe by Jellies! What's with all the freaking out here? Why is Gabriel Byrne's character such a jerk? And how close is too close before you're ripping off a cinematic classic? PLUS: Eric reveals the best kept secret of the popular computer game, Diablo! Stigmata stars Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Enrico Colantoni and the great Rade Serbedzija; directed by Rupert Wainwright. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang kick off Oscar Month with the ridiculous serial killer snooze, Taking Lives! Sure, he's nominated for Best Supporting Actor this year, but back in 2004, Boyhood was still a decade off and Ethan Hawke had to keep the lights on somehow! How did they think they could cover up that Hawke is the killer? How are there no Canadian accents in this French-Canadian thriller? And why did Gena Rowlands bother keeping that little murderer's bedroom in such great shape? PLUS: That old guy that will evaluate your artistic ability via the mail really, really likes Kiefer Sutherland. Taking Lives stars Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Gena Rowlands, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez, Paul Dano and Tchéky Karyo; directed by D.J. Caruso. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies