We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, we kick off our 2017 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza by diving into the first part of a 5-film marathon with Michael Bay's 2007 CGI nightmare, "Transformers"! Why did these robots need lips? How come this movie focuses on so many useless human characters? And how on Earth do you wait 75 minutes before introducing John Turturro? PLUS: Welcome to the show, legendary new WHM character, Tape Man! "Transformers" stars Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Rachael Taylor, Anthony Anderson, Jon Voight, John Turturro, Kevin Dunne, Julia White, Peter Cullen, Mark Ryan, Darius McCrary, Robert Foxworth, Jess Harnell, and Hugo Weaving; directed by Michael Bay.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang reads off stories about angry dads ruining seating arrangements at screenings, a dude possibly having cheeseburgers shoved down his pants, a guy dying during "300", people freaking out after shrooming, the rough days of suffering through "Arli$$" waiting for "Taxi Cab Confessions" to come on, and more! If you want you weird stories read on the air, or have a question for the guys, write into the WHM Mail Bag: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang accidentally finds themselves in a WHM Advanced Level episode as they discuss the ridiculously pathetic, Man Power film, "Disclosure"! Why is this film structured like "The Shining"? Why did we need all this virtual reality nonsense? And who let Dennis Miller in here? PLUS: Michael Douglas battles Freddy Krueger! "Disclosure" stars Michael Douglas, Demi Moore, Donald Sutherland, Dylan Baker, Caroline Goodall, Roma Maffia, and Dennis Miller; directed by Barry Levinson.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, it's another entry in the already defunct Patreon Select series—it's Ninja III: The Domination! In one of the wildest films to come out of the Cannon Group, this movie features amazing elements like golf course massacres, exploding helicopters, ninja possessions, insane exorcisms, haunted arcade machines, terrible detectives, hot tub threeways, and more! PLUS: The absolute most disgusting sex scene the guys have encountered to date! Ninja III: The Domination stars Shô Kosugi, Lucinda Dickey, Jordan Bennett, David Chung, and James Hong; directed by Sam Firstenberg.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang finally gets around to talking about the absolute snooze-fest that is, "AVP: Alien vs. Predator!" How many classic science fiction films is this movie ripping off? Why did the screenwriters insist on linking the older films to this one? And how do you not cast a single big name in this film? PLUS: Dutch finds a bunch of predators in his house! "AVP: Alien vs. Predator" stars Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Lance Henriksen, and Ewen Bremner; directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, what is somehow the THREE HUNDREDTH EPISODE of We Hate Movies the guys go big (and obvious) by tackling the terrible Zack Snyder film, 300! What's with all the hootin' and hollerin'? What did King Leonidas have against messengers? And who dropped the ball when hiring that Baby Inspector? PLUS: Laura Linney and Sean Penn star as their Mystic River characters in a Boston-set remake of 300! 300 stars Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham, Michael Fassbender, and Rodrigo Santoro; directed by Zack Snyder. On the occasion of our 300th episode, we'd like to extend our sincere thanks to you, the listener, without whom this podcast would not have lasted anywhere close to this long. THANK YOU!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang finally gets around to a Charles Bronson movie when they tear up Michael Winner's Death Wish 3! This action-packed sequel has so many amazing elements including, but not limited to: a magically exploding car, old men kissing girls, machine guns firing wildly, a baby Alex Winter, police brutality, a Port Authority hellscape, a drunk Martin Balsam, and more! PLUS: Stephen Tobolowsky auditions to play The Giggler! Death Wish 3 stars Charles Bronson, Deborah Raffin, Ed Lauter, Martin Balsam, Gavan O'Herlihy, Kirk Taylor, Alex Winter, and Marina Sirtis; directed by Michael Winner.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This month, the gang opens the mail bag to read letters about passing up sex to watch Raising Arizona, guys yelling in the video store, date night movie selection faux pas, and a classic What Are Yooooooooouuu Watching?! PLUS: Steven from Charlotte (the Ultraviolet episode) writes back in to explain how the film destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend! If you want your questions answered on the air, or have a weird story you'd like told, write in to the mail bag: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang takes on another Patreon selection with Michael Dinner's Hot to Trot! Why didn't Bobcat voice the horse and John Candy play the goofball son? What's with Dabney Coleman's fake teeth? And exactly how many horses died on this set? PLUS: Plenty of Hollywood celebs are rotting in Horse Hell! Hot to Trot stars Bobcat Goldthwait, John Candy, Dabney Coleman, Virginia Madsen, Tim Kazurinsky, and Mary Gross; directed by Michael Dinner.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, we're releasing last month's sold-out show from Brooklyn, it's Howard the Duck: Live! at the Bell House! At this show, we raised such important questions like: Does planet Duck World also contain Duckburg from Duck Tales? How many of Howard's movie posters are porno parodies? And why can't this movie just be about a duck who manages a rock band? PLUS: George Lucas really turns on the filth! Howard the Duck stars Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, Ed Gale, and Jeffrey Jones; directed by Willard Huyck.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang finally gets around to talking about a Chuck Norris movie, and what better way to cut the red ribbon on this guy than ragging on the ridiculous Sidekicks?! What's with all these deranged fantasies Brandis's character keeps having? Why is Mako's character constantly pretending he's drunk? And did Ralph Macchio and the rest of the Karate Kid cast & crew have a case against this film? PLUS: Living gods, Dan Lauria and Brian Dennehy, fight to the death! Sidekicks stars Chuck Norris, Jonathan Brandis, Beau Bridges, Julia Nickson, Mako, Joe Piscopo, Danica McKellar, Gerrit Graham, and Richard Moll; directed by Aaron Norris, brother of Chuck Norris.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang finally finishes up the 2017 Listener Request Month by tackling the outright creepy "family" comedy, Overboard! How in the world did the police department allow this grift to start in the first place? What's with these kids constantly looking at pornography? And most importantly, what is Kurt Russell's end game here? PLUS: Michael Shannon is getting all sorts of new roles! Overboard stars Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Mike Hagerty, and Roddy McDowall; directed by Garry Marshall.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On a very special episode, the gang interrupts their originally scheduled programming to bring you a recap of the absolutely ridiculous—but somehow watchable—new reboot, Power Rangers! A perfect entry point for a #trypod recommendation, this week's episode asks the hard questions like: Why does everything have to look so dark and shitty? Who thought autism was a great device to play for laughs? And where the hell are Bulk and Skull?!? PLUS: Alex Jones eulogizes a friend while Gallagher loses out on ANOTHER role! Power Rangers stars Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, Becky G., and, somehow, Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Banks, and Bill Hader; directed by Dean Israelite.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang fights tooth and nail to talk about the absolutely wretched "film," Ultraviolet! What's the story here—are they vampires, or what? What's with the script using the word "huh" so many times so rapidly? And what on Earth brought Stephen from Charlotte to see this movie in the theater?!? PLUS: A fake heist film where a bunch of Heat-like criminals rob a sperm bank. The title of which is... Unfortunate. Ultraviolet stars Milla Jovovich, William Fichtner, Cameron Bright, and Nick Chinlund; "directed" by Kurt Wimmer.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, Listener Request Month continues with a terrifying anonymous call requesting, Highlander III: The Final Dimension a.k.a. Highlander 3: The Final Conflict a.k.a. Highlander III: The Sorcerer! Marvel as this film totally retcons out Highlander II: The Quickening without a care! Behold Mario Van Peebles' pierced nipples and... other parts! Avert your eyes as Christopher Lambert and Deobrah Kara Unger film not one, but two intense, totally unnecessary, sex scenes! PLUS: Highlander Captain Cragen! Highlander III: The Final Dimension stars Christopher Lambert, Deborah Kara Unger, Mario Van Peebles, and Mako; directed by Andrew Morahan.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's Mail Bag, the guys read letters from folks who have family with bad movie taste, irrational fears of Master Yoda, dated dudes who love Grown Ups 2, caught folks pleasuring themselves to other Sandler films, sexy-looking parents, and more! If you have questions for the gang, or want you weird stories read on the air, write in to the Mail Bag: [email protected]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2017 Listener Request Month kicks off with the totally wretched M. Night Shyamalan disaster, The Last Airbender! Making it the fourth time one of Night's films has made it onto the show, this train wreck brings up questions like: couldn't they find a single big name celebrity to appear in the film in any capacity? Why didn't they try and step up the violence? And what in the WORLD is with all the white people? PLUS: Who has, and has not, won a BAFTA—and what they did with it. The Last Airbender stars Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Nicola Peltz, Jackson Rathbone, Shaun Toub, Aasif Mandvi, and Cliff Curtis; directed by M. Night Shyamalan.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang has a long-overdue conversation about the ridiculous 1989 action comedy, Tango & Cash! Was Jack Palance wilder here or in Batman? What's with Brion James' horrendous accent? And why did that bartender have those drum sticks? PLUS: A fake Kurt Russell podcast that could turn into a real Kurt Russell podcast! Tango & Cash stars Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone, Jack Palance, Teri Hatcher, Brion James, and the great James Hong; directed by Andrey Konchalovskiy.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On a very special WHM On-Screen, the fellas gather 'round to chat about the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony. The 89th of its kind, the ceremony will be broadcast live this Sunday at 8:30pm Eastern on ABC. Topics covered on this episode include: "Where's Amy Adams," "The Awfulness of Florence Foster Jenkins," "Racist Mel Gibson," and, you guessed it, "Frank Stallone!" Does anybody have an ETA on Nicholson?Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang welcomes favorite show punching bag, Jim Belushi, back with 1997's ridiculous time loop thriller, Retroactive! What's with Jim Belushi's terrible accent? How is this experiment so poorly guarded by the government? And was that Olympic-themed Lucky Charms? PLUS: Mrs. Doubtfire travels through time! Retroactive stars Jim Belushi, Kylie Travis, Shannon Whirry, Frank Whaley, and the great M. Emmet Walsh; directed by Louis Morneau. And don't forget about our upcoming live dates in Brooklyn, Atlanta and Portland!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.